Ghosts Season 5 Episode 12 Review: The List

Ghosts Season 5 Episode 12, “The List,” gets back to its roots with ghost shenanigans, cocaine, and petty infighting.

What starts with a parlor box full of cocaine spirals into an enjoyable outing that casually lends itself to the Woodstone family lore. There’s no shortage of “deadbeats” when it comes to this dysfunctional family, and for that, we are forever grateful.

It’s always a highlight of the series when a new Woodstone is introduced into the fold, whether that’s a strip-club frequenting uncle or a fake cousin con-woman.

Aspiring magician Eugene Woodstone is on the quirkier side. Still, his diabolical plan to use Hetty’s own cocaine against her does pull him from the sidelines in time for a satisfying reveal.

It explains why the cult was inside the secret Woodstone bunker when they died, and the surprise revenge plot is a fun way to turn this episode on its head.

The value of adding another Woodstone to the larger plot is unclear. After all, broadening the scope to other characters when it already feels like we’re missing out on many pre-established dynamics with the core ensemble is dicey.

But he does deliver a memorable ghost scheme involving our favorite cocaine fiend, and for that, Eugene can stay as long as he would like.

We love a moment of reflection from our humble Woodstone queen. Hetty jumps at the chance to take the high road and heal generations of family trauma with a tasteful speech.

Her ability to rise to the occasion when someone is hurting is commonplace now, but the complete absence of hesitation to apologise for her family is refreshing. Hetty has transformed from a woman who hid behind her family name with false pride to the first person in the room to speak against the Woodstone way.

That growth is paired beautifully with a potent callback to the parental neglect that contributed to Hetty’s son murdering Alberta.

Ghosts shines a brief but important spotlight on a cycle of abuse from the men in the Woodstone family that went unchecked by many, including Hetty and Elias. It’s an excellent use of this family reunion and a powerful message to sneak into this outing.

Additionally, the knowledge that stashes of Hetty’s forgotten cocaine could appear at any time is a gift that keeps on giving.

Oh, how we have missed messy Thorfinn.

After all this time in therapy, Thorfinn still hilariously views relationship disagreements as battles he must win. The need to triumph in every argument, no matter how small, unearths a pettiness the Viking has wielded well throughout this series.

His refusal to compromise or back down has led him down some incredible entertaining paths, and this time is no different, as he threatens to burn down everything he and Flower have built together for a comfy recliner chair.

Additionally, we’ve been desperate for a few Florfinn crumbs. So, Flower letting him have it by declaring she can’t make decisions because she’s not the big, strong man of the relationship adds even more delicious fuel to this out-of-control squabble. 

Frankly, screw character growth; Thorfinn should be allowed to be as petty as he wants whenever he wants.

Additional highlights of the episode include Pete, of all people, offering to run couples counseling sessions, and Isaac continuing to use his time in the cult as a talking point.

The prestigious hotel reviewer storyline ties in nicely to Hetty and Eugene’s storyline. However, it would be ideal to see more weight put on the hotel business dealings with more prominent storylines or mentions of a reviewer across multiple episodes.

And it’s not ideal that we set down the whole Patience and Trevor mess to watch another couple fight over a chair. Call us impatient, but an update on that front would be nice.

Nonetheless, Ghosts was right to suspect the parlor box of cocaine would steal focus from such a development.

On an episode brimming with delightful ghost shenanigans, Hetty’s cocaine stash steals the show!

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Ghosts airs on Thursdays at 8:30c/7:30c on CBS.

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