The Goldbergs Review: One Exquisite Evening with Madonna (Season 9 Episode 21)

I seem to be missing a couple of scenes from The Goldbergs Season 9 Episode 21, “One Exquisite Evening with Madonna.”

I’m not saying my streaming service had a glitch and accidentally deleted content. I mean, I think two scenes more scenes were needed to help resolve this episode.

In the case of Erica and Geoff’s story, they have a fight that causes mild-mannered Geoff (Sam Lerner) to actually storm off, and their make-up is simply glossed over by the installation of towel hooks.

Erica (Hayley Orrantia) is wired to rebel against what she should do to be a functioning adult due to her inherent need to piss off Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covey) for funsies, and thus she remains a woman-baby in many ways. 

As a married woman, her defiant quirks are going to affect her relationship with Geoff, which he should know already, because he has been around forever.

But regardless of that, this is a pretty big fight for the newly married Schwartzes and it deserves more attention than what it gets.

Geoff has put up with a lot over the years, so for him to accuse Erica of not considering his feelings seems very important, and Erica needs to grow up, because it’s not just about her anymore. 

I don’t know the exact content of what the scene should be, but it very obviously feels it isn’t there and needs to be.

Come to think of it, even Erica’s conflict with Beverly invading her privacy isn’t fully resolved. Their conversation in the car is a nice mother-daughter talk about being a good partner to your spouse, but there is no moment where Erica confronts Beverly about being a buttinski.

I have a couple of other notes on this storyline before moving on to the second forgotten scene.

First, the previously mentioned car ride Beverly and Erica take… where are they going? Presumably, Beverly is driving Erica back to the Schwartzes’ apartment, but due to a black mold infestation, they shouldn’t be back in their place for a week.

I think we are supposed to be under the impression that that much time passed due to the progression of the other storyline — a frustrating (to me) sitcom trope where two timelines exist concurrently in the same 30 minutes — but Geoff, Beverly, and Glascott haven’t changed clothes, so this whole story takes place in the same day. Either that or they are wearing the same clothes a week later.

Finally, I find it hard to believe that Geoff, despite his frustration with Erica, would let wet towels sit on the bathroom floor long enough to cause black mold in their apartment. I’m not a mycologist, so I don’t know how long it takes to get to evacuation level, but something tells me that isn’t it.

Meanwhile, it is Adam and Brea’s anniversary, but their plans are derailed by Brea’s sister visiting. We can easily tell that Claire (Jessy Hodges) is running a scam on Adam (Sean Giambrone), because she isn’t very subtle and Adam is very gullible, so we’re waiting for the shoe to drop.

When it does, though, it’s anti-climactic.

Brea (Sadie Stanley) doesn’t talk about her family and their problems much, so “One Exquisite Evening with Madonna” is the first time we hear about Claire. Obviously, there is some underlying drama there, but The Goldbergs moves right past it.

Why wasn’t she there more often? Why does she have a scratch-off lottery ticket habit? Why did she need a high school student to buy a ticket that she sold for a profit?

Brea knows! We can see she knows! Claire bailing on the concert for money doesn’t surprise her.

The scene in the diner should have been the explanation, but maybe The Goldbergs got worried about veering into very-special-episode territory. Instead, they course corrected and gave us nothing.

Now, dear reader, you may ask how I would have found time on this episode for these corrections.

One way would have been to remove the unnecessary scene between Barry and Adam in front of a sleeping Murray. Sure, Troy Gentile didn’t have enough to do this episode, but we don’t need the Jeff Garlin insert. And Barry doesn’t say anything Brea couldn’t have said in the diner.

And the second, more brutally honest way would be to remove Mr. Glascott from the episode entirely. I think Tim Meadows does a fine job with what he’s given, but I cannot remember a time when I thought this character truly added anything to a scene. I’m sorry, but it had to be said.

As a viewer, I do know that something feels incomplete, and with an overall wonky season, The Goldbergs needs to tighten up to finish strong.

Final Thought

Regarding the Madonna concert, Brea and Adam go back to Philadelphia to catch the end of it. At first, I thought this was ridiculous, because they would have missed the whole thing.

But I did the math.

Assuming the concert starts at 8pm, Brea and Adam would have arrived at the venue around 7:30, due to excitement and also because they’re giant dorks. After Claire caused drama ruining the mood, they would have taken the 30-minute drive back to Jenkintown, getting them home around 8/8:15.

Adam would have dropped Brea off, gone home to have his heart-to-heart with Barry, then back to the diner to cheer Brea up. With Brea feeling better, they’re back on the road to Philadelphia by 8:45, returning to the former Spectrum Center, parked and inside by about 9:30.

Now, having been to three of her concerts myself, I know that Madge never starts on time. Maybe 1989 Madonna was more punctual, but there’s a very good chance that that concert wasn’t almost over, but only just beginning, making it “One Exquisite Evening with Madonna” after all. 

And their anniversary was saved!

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The Goldbergs airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on ABC.

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