Orange is the New Black: The Best (and Worst!) of Season 3

There is no doubt that when it comes to Orange is the New Black, there are highs and lows, hits and misses, laughter and tears. The series’ third season is no exception, and with the spotlight being cast over all the inmates rather than remaining fixed on Piper’s journey, there’s a whole lot going on this season — good and bad.

Let’s take a look back at some of the best (and worst) plots of the season!

THE BEST

Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren Writes a Smutty Novel

This is probably my favorite plotline of the season. Prompted by the ladies being asked to write scenes for their drama class, Suzanne lets her creative side run wild (like, really wild) and writes some downright nasty sci-fi smut fiction. While the guards obviously won’t allow her to have her scene performed, the other Litchfield ladies get their hands on the story, and it becomes a prison classic.

Inmates start harassing her for new chapters.

Shipping wars begin.

Fanfiction comes out of the woodwork.

Is this all sounding familiar to any of you? Because I found it to be hilariously accurate in regard to how a lot of fandoms work.

Let’s be honest here, you guys: we all want to read Crazy Eyes’ story, okay? Admit it. You’re curious.

Piper’s Pantie Ring

Honestly, any instance in which Piper is trying to be a badass is usually pretty hilarious (except that one time when she almost beat Pennsatucky to death…that was legitimately hardcore) and this is no exception. If anything, Piper starting up an illegal dirty pantie smuggling ring is probably the best idea she has had since she’s been in prison.

I mean, sure, it’s probably the least badass illegal operation she could have come up with — but it is totally genius.

And that rousing speech she gives on the picnic table to recruit Boo and a couple of the other women is comedy gold — arguably Piper’s best moment to date.

Piper is a stone cold crime boss now, you guys, and I’m loving it. Let’s have more of this next season and less of Piper being a whiny know-it-all.

Black Cindy Finds Judaism

What starts out as a ticket to a better meal for Cindy soon turns into a remarkably poignant journey to self-discovery and acceptance when she makes the decision to learn about and convert to Judaism. After a lifetime of being beaten down by her previous religion, not feeling good enough, and not feeling as though it was the right fit, Cindy is just as shocked as anyone to learn that she truly connects with Jewish beliefs and principles. She makes the conversion whole-heartedly — and not just for the kosher meal ticket.

“Honestly, I think I found my people.” Ugh, my heart!

You go, Cindy.

Soso & Poussey (YES PLEASE!)

This is the ship that no one saw coming that, as it turns out, sails itself. Poussey Washington is, without a doubt, one of the most well-loved characters on the show, and Brooke Soso has been a bit of a black sheep amongst the inmates since she arrived. We never really saw much of these two together so, I don’t know about you, but the prospect of them as a couple never crossed my mind.

But then their plotlines this season are so intricately and beautifully interwoven that I have fallen in love with the idea of this pairing. With both women feeling depressed and hopelessly isolated by their own loneliness, watching them come together slowly and subtly was a thing of beauty.

I’m really hoping this pairing becomes official next season, because they’re absolutely adorable.

AND THE WORST

That Crap They Pulled with Sophia

After Sophia has a falling out with Gloria (prompted by her frustrations with being unable to properly parent her son from behind bars), the Spanish inmates begin spreading horrible rumors about her. Before long, it seems as though the entire prison is against her, culminating in Sophia being jumped and beaten by three of her fellow inmates.

Watching the women in the prison target Sophia’s gender identity immediately after she falls out of their good graces is indescribably horrific. I have to give all the kudos in the world to Laverne Cox for her performance this season, because I can only imagine how close Sophia’s plotline was to her heart — and she handled it beautifully.

What makes it worse is that Sophia is the one who ends up being punished for what happens when she was taken to solitary “for her own safety.”

I still can’t even write about it without getting frustrated over the injustice of it all over again.

Sophia, I love you.

They better fix this next season.

Pennsatucky and the Guard

We learn some new things about Pennsatucky’s past this season — none of which are particularly pleasant. It turns out the poor girl is no stranger to sexual abuse and, to make matters worse, she is unable to escape her painful past while in prison after a new guard comes in to the picture and forces himself on her.

I make it no secret that I do not believe in using rape as a plot device. I do not believe in rape used in or for entertainment, and I certainly cannot and will not condone the graphic depiction of it on the big or small screen.

My personal opinion on this writing choice aside, however, my heart and soul and everything in between goes out to poor Pennsatucky. I wish she’d gotten proper justice, and I’m so worried about Maritza going into next season…

Let’s just say that I’ll be happy to watch that guard get his (and he damn well better get his…).

The upside to this plotline is Boosatucky. I absolutely fell in love with Boo in the scene when she steps in to help Pennsatucky after realizing what has happened to her. I adore those two as a duo.

Nicky Goes to Max (Like, three episodes in?!)

This needs to be discussed and complained about at length, because we lose Nicky three episodes in. Her struggles with addiction continue to berate her and, ultimately, get the best of her (or, alternately, after her smuggling partner throws her to the wolves), leading to Nicky being taken to Max.

THREE EPISODES IN! What?!

I kept waiting for her to make her triumphant return at some point in the season, and the longer they went without bringing her back, the more I started to miss her, the more I started to worry — but I never gave up hope…

But then she never comes back.

No word on Nicky.

No word yet on whether or not she’s going to be back for Season 4.

No closure. No goodbyes…

Jenji Kohan, what did I ever do to you?!

Bennett Bails

Everybody’s favorite prison Romeo and Juliet might be toast. If this truly is the case, whatever respect anyone had for Bennett is totally out the window now that he has full on bailed on Daya after stopping by her home and seeing the way her family lives.

Might I just remind everyone that he drives off into the sunset (without Daya and their unborn child, mind you) after having just proposed to our girl.

What the hell, Bennett?

There you have it. It’s certainly a roller coaster of a season (when is it not, really?), but we’ve made it through and can do nothing but wish, hope, and speculate until season 4 is released.

Until then, you can always get you fix by binge-watching the 3 seasons of Orange is the New Black that are currently available on Netflix!