iZombie Review: The Scratchmaker (Season 5 Episode 6)

It’s Blaine’s world and we’re just living in it.

As Blaine’s voice-over so boldly reveals at the beginning of iZombie Season 5 Episode 6, “The Scratchmaker,” this isn’t the dead matchmaker’s story, it’s his.

Suddenly a feeling of both aw and betrayal overcomes us as we realize the perfectly crafted episode of iZombie we were promised with Liv on matchmaker brain and Blaine sulking in jail never existed.

It was all just a ruse to prepare us for this season’s dark horse — a Blaine centric episode! 

It’s all very crafty of iZombie.

Instead of sidelining Liv, we take on this episode from the perspective of Blaine with Liv popping up as a very impressional side character instead. And instead of getting his origin story, we get to see Blaine’s downfall in all it’s raw and bloody glory.

Blaine continues to command the room with his charming charisma. However, this time he is complemented by strategic guest appearances and writing that is much better than the edited-for-tv version of Snakes on a Plane Blaine is forced to watch over and over in prison.

Blaine’s new predicament even finds an interesting way of pulling Fillmore Graves into the mix for once.

It is the episode Blaine has always deserved as his new predicament brings out not only the best of the villain but the best of iZombie as well.

There is a new and unpredictable vulnerableness to Blaine that is particularly terrifying to see unfold.

Moments like the one in the precinct where real desperation can be heard in Blaine’s voice as he demands Don E loan him money. It’s a brief crack in the villain’s facade as he quickly turns around and gives Dale that cunning grin we know so well.

We’ve gotten quite cozy with the Blaine that knows how to be an effective dictator and keep things in his favour. Now, we get to see the Blaine that worked for Stacey Boss and was belittled by his temperamental father. That Blaine is weak and at the first sign of losing control lashes out like the disgruntled child he is deep down.

At the end of the day, Blaine always assumed he would win and now that he has lost, he can only keep his emotions in check for so long before he loses it completely.

Al Bronson looks directly into the eyes of the devil and laughs — I’m really starting to like this girl.

She continues to solidify her worth as a late addition to this cast with her unblinking swagger and mysterious persona. At first, it seems she is similar to Blaine in many ways but unlike him, she has a moral compass to keep her from ever pulling the trigger.

We soon learn this is not the case as Al reveals she is related to Stacey Boss and did not, in fact, take down Blaine’s empire out of the kindness of her heart. She’s working with her uncle because no one does anything in Seattle unless an illegal organization can profit off their actions.

Al is an enigma that only seems to get more intriguing as time goes on. She has had such a positive impact on this show in such a short time, I am excited to see whose door she kicks down next.

And speaking of intriguing characters, “The Scratchmaker” is overflowing with guest appearances from some memorable faces.

First up is the no-nonsense lawyer with no morals, Brandt Stone. He’s nothing like Marino’s C.J. from Brooklyn Nine-Nine but he did almost start a zombie apocalypse by eating a granola bar so take that as you may.

The good news is Stone is all business this time around as he proves to be both an entertaining errand boy for Blaine and a worthy adversary for the villain in conversations as he pushes Blaine even closure to the edge of desperation.

Candy and Tanner also reappear to get the entire Blaine gang back together. Unfortunately, the absence of these characters has made them expendable prey for Blaine and it is ultimately Tanner who’s sacrifice has the most emotional impact on Don E.

It’s sentimental to see minor characters like Tanner brought out of the woodwork even if it’s for the purpose of killing them. This is the final season and it feels final with all these special guest appearances.

iZombie — “The Scratchmaker”– Pictured: Bryce Hodgson as Don E — Photo Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW — © 2019 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Blaine’s episode would not be complete without an appearance from the chilling crime lord Stacey freaking Boss.

Eddie Jemison is once again a terrifying delight as he falls comfortably back into the role of the subdued businessman turned murderous drug lord. He never confronts Blaine directly but the detail that goes into his work-around shows Boss hasn’t lost his touch.

Yet, on an episode that showcases the wicked and cunning of two epic villains, it is Don E who proves to be just as much a player in the game.

Blaine’s right-hand man has never really been given enough spotlight to prove his worth but when Don E finds himself no longer able to sit comfortably in Blaine’s shadow he steps up in a big way. His more humorous moments with Liv are worth a laugh and his despair over losing his buddy Tanner hits home in all the right ways.

This really is the Blaine and Don E centric episode both actors have earned.

Now I applaud iZombie for promoting this episode as if it were any other Liv centric one and the Blaine narration reveal is, again, brilliant — but why did the show have to go and make Liv’s storyline so darn enticing too?

Having two storylines within an episode that are equal parts alluring is not usually a problem. However, Liv is purposely treated as a side character and thus we only get to see glimpses of the perfect brain that would have been.

I’m not saying Liv should have been given a rotten brain on purpose but to orcastrate one as fun as a matchmaker on this Blaine centric episode seems like a terrible waste.

I’m still bummed we don’t get to see Liv attempt to find Major his perfect soulmate only to realize it was her all along.

And while we did get to see a sweet moment between Liv and Clive in his temporary new office, all the new developments in Clive’s life makes me want to be present in their investigation now more than ever.

iZombie — “The Scratchmaker”– Pictured (L-R): Samuel Patrick Chu as Curtis, Rahul Kohli as Ravi, Rose McIver as Liv, Kaylah Zander as Riley, and Dejan Loyola as Graham — Photo Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW — © 2019 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

iZombie gives us an episode cleverly titled “The Scratchmaker” in hopes we will be impressed not by the play on words but by the performance of the man who started his empire with a simple scratch.

This Blaine centric episode has a plot bursting with so much potential, it’s almost a disappointment we can’t explore every opportunity this newest installment has to offer.

Heads may not be rolling just yet, but iZombie is certainly on a roll with this final season!

Top Lines From “Scratchmaker”:

Clive: You eat the brain, find clues…blah-blah-blah, case closed. But this isn’t her story. It’s mine.

Clive: You need anything else, Liv?
Liv: Mmm. A raise wouldn’t hurt.
Clive: No.
Liv: Can I have a gun?
Clive: No!

Blaine: You don’t know me.
Al: Sure, I do. You’re another two-bit homicidal thug who thinks he’s unique because, deep down, you’re special and you’re different, and you deserve admiration.

Liv: Major, do you want to meet a new friend of mine? She’s a lawyer.
Major: Matchmaker brain?
Ravi: Yep.
Major: Nailed it!

Blaine: The break room tv is just repeating the edited-for-tv version of Snakes on a Plane.
Major: If I let you out, people will riot in the streets.
Blaine: Well I guess we’re all screwed, monkey fighter.
Blaine: You see! Samuel L. Jackson just doesn’t work edited for TV.

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iZombie airs Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW.

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