Portlandia Review: Portland Secedes (Season 7 Episode 7)

Portlandia rips from the headlines on Season 7 Episode 7.

Portland pulls a Brexit and secedes from the United States.

The good news is that this story leads to Kyle MacLachlan reprising his role as The Mayor.

The bad news is that it doesn’t live up to my high expectations.

Perhaps I set the bar too high.

I keep thinking that the next line of dialogue is going to crack me up, but I just keep waiting. I’m not saying it’s not a funny sketch. It is. I just expect more.

Overall, the premise is a great depiction of misguided bureaucracy in action.

There is an influx of people coming into Portland ,and it’s bringing down the “weird and freaky” standard to which Fred, Carrie, Mr. Mayor, and the citizens have become accustomed.

They proceed with their half-baked idea of seceding, and the ramifications are disastrous.

They can’t see Beyoncé!

There are many humorous jokes like this exchange between Fred and the US government:

The President: What kind of taxes are you going to have?
Fred: Twelve dollars.

There are also missed opportunities. The whole bit about what kind of currency they will use falls flat.

Mr. Mayor is trying to come up with a catchy phrase they can all chant, and they settle on “Portland the nation seceding now!”

Here is a chance to come up with a line fans could quote for years to come, but this isn’t very quotable or memorable. Although, the way Fred says it is pretty funny.

Also very topical is the eco-terrorists skit. The protesters—including Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson—are trying to protect a plot of land from becoming a parking lot. “Parking lot? We think not!”

In an obvious attempt to get rid of the group that is “croqueted” to the lawn, the contractor poses as an awards official informing them that they won Best Protest. They go so they can use their thank you speech as a platform.

This has been happening at awards shows as of late and it is a clever nod to that here.

Kath and Dave make their first appearance this season in a sketch about bad parking. This is an apt way to bring them back. Watching them get aggro about things is fun.

Kath: How would you like it if we parked in your living room?!
Dave: Make living room longer.
Kath: LIVING ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Although I think the main sketch is weak, the supporting ones are pretty strong.

Peter, of Peter and Nance, wonders if he is Banksy. I love all the reasons Nance comes up with to try to convince him that he is not the famous political graffiti artist. “You can’t draw.”

“And and and and and and and” I love that the conclusion is that Banksy is just a social construct to improve conditions of low-income neighborhoods. It makes you wonder.

My favorite sketch of Season 7 Episode 7 is the parents who discuss a plan of attack on how to teach their child about scary concepts when he asks about death.

Mom: We get him a goldfish or something.
Dad: And we kill the goldfish.

Let me tell you, as a parent, this is a horrifying and confusing situation. Sometimes both parents aren’t on the same page about everything. Their discussion goes exactly how I expect it to.

There is no right way to handle it and it is overwhelming.

When asked to start simply and give an example of how she would explain plastic surgery, Carrie Brownstein as the mom has a chilling accurate reaction. She is so distressed that she laughs and then almost cries, at a complete loss of where to begin.

The good definitely outweighs the bad.

It’s my enormous love for Kyle MacLachlan and his role as The Mayor that made my expectations get the better of me. In these scary political times, I look to a character like that for comfort.

It is somewhat disconcerting to hear the affable politician end the episode by saying, “I’m going to keep Portland as a tax shelter for the rich. Let me know if you want to hide billions of dollars.”

That’s not helping, Mr. Mayor.

Stray Observations:

• The opening skit about the airport sushi chef is funny. “There you go, meaningless paper.”
• Kath’s scrunchy is glorious.
• “That’s a huge leap. We are like ‘here’s candy, here’s racism, and then here’s cancer?'”
• I pull that phone tactic all the time when I don’t know how to answer my kid. “Wanna play with my phone?”
• “What if I’m Banksy?”

What did you think of this episode of Portlandia? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Portlandia airs Thursdays at 10/9c on IFC.

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