Tell-Tale TV Ship Wars: Buffy/Angel vs. Buffy/Spike
Lyra: Dead on about the Buffy/Spike attempted rape scene. It was a confusing message to send to girls that even to this day I don’t understand. Spike’s journey to get his soul back afterwards was an attempt to stretch out time we had with him because fans loved him. It was fixing a “problem” that there was no going back from.
Christine: I am COMPLETELY on board with the rape scene being very confusing. It was something that completely shattered views about Spike, but because of the immense good will he had built in the Buffy fan base, he was just absolved of it, and the audience never reacted to it the way I felt they should have. I loved his getting a soul, and making the decision to seek it out, but I definitely wish that there had been a catalyst for it other than raping Buffy.
Christine: But to get back to the discussion at hand, as far as an Angel/Spike argument in the ‘shipping sense, I always point back to the Angel episode, “I Will Remember You,” back in Season 1, as the definitive thing that shows how deep Angel and Buffy’s love was. Watching Angel operate as a human and seeing how his life with Buffy COULD be makes the ending completely and utterly heartbreaking. They love each other SO DAMN MUCH. And to know that for eternity, Angel will always remember that day, while Buffy won’t… that’s some serious tear-inducing emotion. Then you add “cookies” to it. I’m a big fan of Spike, but he and Buffy NEVER had moments that even came close to that level of emotion or intimacy. The closest, I’d say, was his “You’re the one,” speech. And in the end, Spike knew it. Even when Buffy finally told him that she loved him in, “Chosen,” his response was a simple, “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” That one moment summed up his and Buffy’s relationship: she took the actions, but never really felt it in her heart.
Jen: Yup. 100% agree with Christine. “Cookies” versus “No you don’t.” That’s the ball game. It was always Angel and will always be Angel.
Lizzie: I love it that, in the end, we all agree, even when we disagree. I also love it that no one brought up Riley. Because, really, some people can be Team Angel and others Team Spike but no one, absolutely no one is Team Riley.
Christine: I think it’s best if we forget about Riley. That was the darkest timeline.
Ashley: The rape scene is definitely problematic, but I do think it was interesting to see Spike go through a change because of it. Their relationship was always dark, and it didn’t stand a chance — I just wish it would have. I wish Buffy would have been able to give Spike the time of day (BEFORE the rape scene even occurred). I should also say that I’m not anti-Angel by any means. I just think Spike could have been better in a lot of ways. Oh, and I totally agree we should forget about Riley. Just, no. Funny, isn’t it? After all, he was the human…
Lizzie: Could have, should have, wasn’t. Point is, in the end, Spike just wasn’t better, in any way.
Caralynn: I guess I’ll start off by saying that even though I’m a huge Spuffy shipper, I really do see the merits in Bangel as well. Plus, it’s hard to ignore the fact that Sarah Michelle Gellar is vocally all about Buffy/Angel, no contest. That said, Spuffy had off the charts chemistry and I think their story was WAY more electric than Buffy/Angel. In my opinion, early Buffy (pre-killing Angel in “Becoming Pt II”) and later Buffy (after coming back to Sunnydale in the beginning of season 3) are two totally different characters. Once Angel became Angelus, everything that went down really screwed her up and I don’t think Bangel ever quite regained the magic it had in season 1/early season 2. Angel was the perfect person for early Buffy. Not so much later Buffy.
Christine: I agree with you on this, especially the electricity aspect. It’s really an electricity vs. intimacy argument. But I don’t know that Spike was that person for Buffy either at that point, after Buffy became…darker? I think it was a phase that Buffy had to go through as part of her “baking”. She wasn’t quite ready yet for Angel again. They both had things they needed to change about themselves before they could be right for each other again.
Caralynn: The Spuffy attempted rape scene was a huge issue, for sure, but I think in an odd way it also needed to happen in order to catapult Spike’s character into this new, soul-having direction. I also think that a lot of people ignore how deeply Buffy trusted Spike, with pretty much everything that was most important to her. She entrusted him with watching over Dawn pre- and post- attempted rape (which was weird, and which the show points out, but which can’t really be ignored because it speaks volumes about how Buffy viewed both Spike and the bathroom incident).
Christine: She trusted him COMPLETELY. Again, no argument. But You have to also consider the circumstances pre-rape. She had completely used Spike, and he knew it. She told him repeatedly that she didn’t love him. He was literally her booty call. It wasn’t fair to him in the least. It was completely self-destructive behavior for them both, not love. Did they love each other? I think so. But it wasn’t a healthy romantic love, like what existed between Buffy and Angel. It was almost an abusive relationship love that you can’t walk away from. Post Spike getting a soul, that love changed, but I still don’t totally buy that it was romantic love. It was admiration love. Friendship love. Not cookie love.
Caralynn: By the end of the show, I think Buffy did grow to love Spike. I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I believed her when she told him she loved him and I think Spike’s denial of that said more about his view/feelings about himself than it did about Buffy’s feelings for him. It was also a way of showing how selfless his sacrifice was; he was giving up his life to save the world, not because he thought it would win him Buffy’s love but because it was the right thing to do. She had a really deep connection with Spike by the end (that whole last scene where they just sleep in bed next to each other before the final battle really tugs at my heartstrings), and the way it was developed was really engrossing. Bangel is too moody and melodramatic for my tastes (I’m specifically thinking of Cordy and Wesley explaining the Buffy/Angel relationship to Fred). 100% Spuffy, all the way.
Lizzie: I think Buffy did love Spike in the end, I just think she never loved him like she loved Angel. If she had, then that whole conversation with Angel at the end of the final episode when she’s using cookie analogies wouldn’t have happened. She was leaving the door open for Angel, and, in a way, she was leaving the door open for herself. Because, although I agree that Buffy pre-season 3 and Buffy post-season 3 were not the same person, I think both of those Buffy’s loved Angel more than anyone else in the world.
Christine: YES. Everything Lizzie just said. I think I’d be more inclined to believe in that final “I love you,” were it not for that open door for Angel earlier in the episode. Again, his, “No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.” was it for me. He understood his place. Buffy even tells Angel in that final cookie talk that Spike is in her heart. He’s IN her heart. But a chocolate chip. Not the whole cookie.
Jen: It’s not going to be a huge surprise where I come down on Spuffy vs. Bangel. It’s Bangel. I think in the infinite array of love stories we all have our personal preferences, but for me, in order for a love story to be epic it has to be selfless love. These two people, who love each other more than life itself, do the one thing most of us could never do — or will ever be asked to do. Give each other up for the greater good.
In 240 plus years, there was only one woman Angel loved. Buffy. His love for her was instantaneous, because he could see the goodness in her. Angel’s love for Buffy instilled a will he’d never known before and a desire to become a better man. She inspired Spike to get his soul, but the purpose of regaining his soul was FOR BUFFY. It wasn’t a completely selfless act. Spike almost raped Buffy, and he wanted to rid himself of that part of him. So, he could be with her. Even in Season 5, a lot of Spike’s assistance came from a desire to be with Buffy. Yes, Angel didn’t choose to be re-souled, but his decision to become a better man wasn’t about being with Buffy. It was about HELPING Buffy fight the good fight. In fact, for a good chunk of their relationship Angel fought his feelings for Buffy, but continued helping anyways. There was always a larger picture with Buffy & Angel. Whereas, I always felt Buffy & Spike’s focus was one another. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t define selfless love.
On the surface, they are both wrong for each other: a vampire and a slayer. A teenager and a 240+ year old vampire. But Buffy’s innocence helped Angel remember such things exist, and his love for her was equally pure. His love for Buffy was the only innocence Angel had left. Angel had a darkness inside of him that Buffy understood. As the slayer, she felt the same darkness. Their love helped overcome this darkness, not dive into it like Spuffy did.
Buffy and Angel were also unbelievably isolated, Angel because of his soul and Buffy because of her duties as a slayer. Spuffy shared the same isolation, but instead of maintaining her connections with family & friends, Spike encouraged Buffy’s isolation. Or rather her isolation with him. Whereas, Angel always supportive of all the other parts of Buffy’s life, even if it pained him when he couldn’t share in them with her. Their chemistry was electric. They just SPARKED because the need to be together, despite the obstacles, was so strong and their love was so pure. Of course, the minute they finally sleep together Angel loses his soul and becomes evil again. I mean, Buffy is the very definition of happiness for Angel. That’s tough to beat. They found the one person in the universe they are meant to be with and they can’t be together. Then Buffy has to make the heroic sacrifice of killing the person she loves most in the world to save the world. It’s the Romeo & Juliet twist. Unbelievably heartbreaking. Unbelievably selfless.
For me, their greatest moment was the scene on the hill in Amends. Buffy was Angel’s reason to keep fighting and he was hers. “Strong is fighting” defined the show and defined Buffy and Angel. They represent the very best message of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
But Angel loved Buffy so much that he wanted more for her. A life beyond the darkness and he didn’t believe he could ever give her that. What’s more, the temptation to sleep together was incredibly powerful and it risked disaster. Furthermore, Angel felt called to serve a purpose in the world as a hero. His love for Buffy gave him that but he applied it in a broader sense. Of course, Buffy tried to have a “normal” relationship with Riley (who was the actual worst), and it only served to show her she didn’t need “normal.” She just needed Angel. She even begged him to come back after her mother died. In fact, having Angel show up to support Buffy in her moment of deepest grief just proves how important he is to her. Buffy let herself need Angel and Buffy never let herself need anyone. All her walls were down with Angel. I don’t think she ever allowed herself to need Spike in that way. I think she used Spike to numb herself.
“I Will Remember You” was the definitive moment. He’s finally human, and Angel gives it all up… because he won’t risk Buffy’s life or anyone else’s for his own happiness. Buffy wouldn’t either. They always put other people before their love. It wasn’t about what they needed. It was about where they were needed most. What’s more, Angel held the memory alone, because if Buffy did she could have NEVER moved on. Which says everything.
They are just gut-wrenching. And no matter who Buffy was with, Angel was always in her heart. If she had a real choice and the universe allowed it, she would choose him. That’s why the cookie speech is so important. Angel and Buffy are heroes. They are meant to be in the world fighting, but if they could be just regular folks… it always comes back to one another. So, that’s where they left it. In the world, fighting the good fight… loving each other forever. I think there’s lots of kinds of love. Buffy flat out didn’t love Riley. She loved the IDEA of Riley. Spike’s death was truly heroic and selfless, but even in that moment… he knew the truth. Buffy loved Spike, but she wasn’t IN LOVE with Spike. She cared for him deeply and he did earn that love, but Spike was more representative of the darker parts of Buffy. Whereas Angel represented the light inside Buffy. When it came to Angel, Buffy’s heart was its most pure, its most selfless, its most heroic…its most happy. Buffy might be cookie dough, but Angel was the oven.
Christine: *slow clapping and shedding a tear* Well said, Jen.
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Whew! We really had a lot to say about this! What did you think? Did you agree with anything in particular? Have anything more to add? Drop us a line in the comments, and make your choice in the poll below!
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Lissete Lanuza Sáenz
Lawyer. Writer. Columnist. Geek. Falls in madly in love with fictional characters. Hates the color yellow, misogyny, and people who are late. Can always be found with a book. Watches an absurd amount of TV every week, often, while eating coffee ice cream. She has no regrets. You can check out her blog here: Absurday. Lissete is a senior writer for Tell-Tale TV. Follow @lizziethat
12 comments
Spuffy 100%.
LOL did Bangel even more than 20 episodes together,they are a blip on the radar in the buffyverse IMO. it was a classic Destiny: tell than show” relationship, even worse as they had very little development and interaction than usual “destined couples”. That sort of thing may have worked a little back then but wouldn’t fly in 2015 with the fandom/viewers. Both shows and characters were able to survive and even flourish without the Bangel love story. Says a lot about how much vital that was. Bangel is a ship that works on people but in reality it falls apart, doesn’t work. Might work for movies but not TV, the characters had very little to give each other.
Spuffy was the true main romance of BTVS as was Cangel for Angel. They were adult relationship while Bangel never got a chance to mature and develop to that.. People are quick to point the attempted rape and wrongs of Spuffy but it was statutory rape when Bangel had sex and he stalked her etc. No slayer/vamp pair was completely healthy, its about what grew to be better that makes Spuffy the better choice for Buffy. Buffy was OOC and irrational when it came to “loving” Angel, that relationship was toxic to her character development. They both reached their full potential away from the other. There is a reason why they kept the characters in different shows for years, they were better characters apart!!.
Spuffy hit all the right notes as the slayer/vamp pairing Bangel could have been, it was a second chance for PTB to do that right and they did. There was chemistry, humor, development, respect, maturity etc. That sort of thing doesn’t happen in 20 episodes and when the characters are in two different shows. The problem is the PTB were too scared or not too stubborn to completely let go off bangel and go with what worked for the shows, hence the lame chosen scenes with Bangel. Yeah it was lame how Buffy would always “choose Angel”, when they was no actual narrative reason for their love, than just it was the original plan.
actually had development as friends, partners, lovers and actually got to know each other, not a love based on “assumed destiny” but true love that was earned and grew.. In today’s climate, Spuffy would be the endgame, the true and main love story that actually serviced the show. But I didnt rage after that finale, I smiled because Spuffy was given a beautiful love story and was one of the best elements of BTVS, as was Cangel for ATS. Not being endgame hurts, the “its the journey that matters” is usually a lie by people to make themselves feel better, but in this case I can it was true. BTVS/Angel had great writing for the most part, the journey was always a thrill.
I’m a Bangel shipper all the way.
Spuffy was a destructive relationship and I don’t ship destructive relationships. How anyone can ship them together is beyond me.
“Spuffy was a destructive relationship….”
What do you expect from a relationship with a souless vampire, I just “love” the hypocrisy of Bangel fans, neither was Angel a prince charming.
Buffy: “What was the highlight of our relationship?, when you broke up with me or when I killed you”
Thats Bangel in a nutshell, they never got to be anything more, like Spuffy had. A chance to grow and be healthier.
BTW when is part 2 coming.
I never said that Angel was a Prince Charming. My point, was that Buffy’s romance with Angel was not destructive and unhealthy. Her romance with Spike was and that is something that can NOT be ignored.
Did Bangel even more than 20 episodes..
Bangel is a ship that works on paper…
…too stubborn to let go of Bangel..
[Some corrections ,grr, …]
Ok, so I feel really strongly about being #TeamSpike. I see the points made above, I do. But!! Angel just wasn’t capable of love or anything like it, when he was soulless. He killed Jenny because she was trying to restore his soul. Spike, made a really bad impulsive decision in the bathroom. Yes. No, I don’t like it. I wish Joss had found a better catalyst for Spike seeking to win his soul back. However, in most of Buffy and Spike’s sexual arm episodes, Buffy always said “stop, no, don’t” but she never meant it. THIS time she did mean it. This is NOT her fault!!! That’s NOT what I’m saying. What I am saying, is that its POSSIBLE that Spike thought that’s what was going on here. Was there a time that he didn’t? “I’m gonna make you feel it” implies that yes. But when you see the look of horror in his eyes after she pushes him off, that speaks VOLUMES. He made a HORRIBLE mistake. But that’s what it was a mistake, and I feel like in seeking out, and almost dying for his soul, he proved that he loved her more, and felt more remorse as a soulless demon, than Angel EVER could.
For this reason among many others, I believe that Spike loved Buffy more. Now, did Buffy love Spike like she loved Angel? No. She did not. Sarah said it. James said it. Joss screamed it with Cookie Dough, and Buffy herself proved it when she kissed Angel even after her heart to heart “You’re shirty” with Spike. As a fan I was screaming at the TV. Hoping after the commercial break it wouldn’t be real. Alas, Buffy is not influenced by me or anyone, so Angel is who she loves. BUT!!! She was starting to feel something for Spike. Something real and genuine. Two best friends falling in love, but her love was in the wee budding stages, so we never got to see where it would have lead.
I think ultimately, Season 5 Angel Spike would have been best for Buffy. I think they could have had a beautiful relationship by that point. Run away to Rome together and make a go of it. He was more together (once he was corporeal and also had his arms reattached) then, and living his own destiny and doing things because he truly wanted to, not for her. That’s the PERFECT time to have a relationship with someone. When you’ve got more a sense of self. But… that’s why I love fanfic. A world full of talented fans who see the same vision as me.
In closing, Spike made a MISTAKE. I think by the end of his character arc on Buffy he was REDEEMED, and by the end of Angel more than redeemed. Buffy, at the time of the shows end, loved Angel more. Given time and contact during late Season 5 of Angel, Spike and Buffy could have made a go at it. Angel isn’t capable of love without a soul. Besides, Angel belongs with Cordy! Don’t get me started on that one…;-)
Not “sexual arm episodes” Darn spell correct!! Sexual erm episodes. For lack of a better term than episodes. Escapades maybe? Yea, I think we’ll go with that.
Spuffy ♥
I think both of those relationships were important to her, but they both took place in different moments of her life. What High School Buffy would have looked for in a relationship wasn’t what she was looking for at the end of the show. She grew as a woman, and I think Spike is the person that connected to her the most through her journey.
Angel’s place in Buffy’s life never totally felt real to me. I think the drama contained in their relationship is what made the relationship so intense, but I never felt that we really got to discover their relationship beyond that intensity. Did they really know each other? Would they to know how to face daily situations?
The “forever” thing doesn’t work for me, because I find that way to easy when it’s used in stories and I don’t connect with it.
That’s what I liked about Spuffy. It wasn’t pretty all the time, but it felt very real to me. Because the kind of love that we got to see between them was born with the perfect knowledge of the dark/bad they were both able to express, but also with the knowledge of the beautiful things they had to offer. While with Angel, Buffy fell in love and then went from bad surprises to bad surprises (she discovered he was a vampire, discovered the curse at great cost…). It went differently with Spike, starting with the bad, and he surprised her a little bit more every time (going after his soul, being there for her, sacrificing himself). Through the course of the show, we see Buffy slowly opening herself up to Spike, after all the suffering she endured (the death of her mom, her own death, the daily responsabilities, her depression, her leading position in season 7…) and while her life was really complicated and full of responsabilities beyond her Slayer duties.. In season 5, Buffy even doubted that she still had the ability to love. While love was still there, she just expressed it differently. Buffy built a lot of walls around her heart through the course of the show, and she became more and more emotionaly closed. But Spike always remained close to her at the end of the show. He was the one who saw her fragilities and the one she was relying on. She knows him, trusts him and believes in him and what he is capable of.
Buffy & Spike didn’t always made the right choices when it came to their relationship, in season 6 more specifically, it was very complex (especially because I think Buffy had feelings for him and that’s what made their relationship this season so difficult and interesting). But the show acknowledged the unhealthy dimension of their relationship as such and dealt with the consequences in season 7 (of course, it could be discussed if it was enough or not, I personally believe it was well done). I think Bangel was unhealthy in it’s own way, but the show didn’t acknowledged it the same way, and that was problematic to me.
Another thing that I liked about Buffy & Spike is that in despite of their codependency, they trusted each other’s abilities & strenght. We learn in ATS season 5 that Angel put spies on Buffy, like if she wasn’t able to take care of herself or wasn’t free to let him know what she wanted him to know. I think Angel still sees her as the girl he knew, who yet was a very strong person at the time, and he always acted in this paternalistic way, taking decisions without consulting her, even in IWRY. It’s a pattern of his character, not just with Buffy, but it’s not something positive about their relationship and I haven’t been satisfied by how the show dealt with the issue. Spike had his own faults, of course! Spike had mysoginist notions probably induced by his past education (I think he evolved from that in some ways, even if there’s still some work to do), the same way Angel’s education probably influenced him.
By the end of the show, I believe Buffy & Angel idealized a lot the relationship they had and what each other could offer, which is why it continued to exist for so long in their minds. They couldn’t live their relationship, so like everything that is forbidden, they remained focused on it. They were stuck in the past and became again who they once were in the short times of their meetings after season 3. Not because of some ‘eternal love’, but because they didn’t know how to be their current selves around each other. They were very disconnected of each other’s lives (which is normal, they saw each other maybe an hour every year) and very oblivious of the person they became. I don’t believe in their relationship. and I don’t think they could make this work. They’re both leaders, they do things their own ways, and they built their lives without each other. When I look at their characters, I think they’re too similar in the wrong ways, and too differents in what should matter.
In the Buffy/Spike relationship, they are right there with each other, side by side. They have been through a lot, and at the same time, they got to really know each other. I believe Buffy started to have feelings for Spike in season 6, but it only had the opportunity to blossom in season 7.
When it comes to comparing Spuffy & Bangel, Joss Whedon made a nice comment in the Chosen commentary :
“The great Marsters with a chemistry with Buffy that is just completely different from Angel’s, and different than David’s, and yet works very, very well. He’s more on Buffy’s level. He’s more… Their vulnerabilities come out, and I don’t just mean as characters, but as actors around each other. And that really works, it works on a very different level. Their relationship has clearly been through a lot – much more, in fact, than her relationship with Angel, in a way. And you feel that history with these two,” ~ Joss Whedon
To me, there was something more in the Spuffy relationship. Deeper and more real emotionnally. Something you can relate to. They got each other’s back, not only materially but also emotionally. They allowed themselves to be vulnerable around each other. They pushed each other to believe in themselves, like in this beautiful Spike’s speech in Touched, which allowed her to have her strenght back and go look after the Scythe (and that’s partly what made them win their war against the First!). I think those two characters are very connected to each other and know how to reach each other, sometimes in bad ways, and sometimes in very good ways. Again, they’re not perfect, but they accept that. They are who they are, with their flaws and strenghts, and in despite of the bad, they still know how to praise what’s beautiful in each other. Like Spike said, “I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. (…) I love what you are, what you do, how you try.” And that’s why their love for each other felt more real and beautiful to me.
They don’t expect perfection from each other, whereas I believe Buffy and Angel tend to expect something way too ‘unreal’ from each other.
I thought Buffy & Spike’s hands on fire at the end of Chosen was a beautiful outcome for their relationship. Buffy’s love & feelings have always been thematically connected to fire. In season 5, the first Slayer told her that her love was brighter than fire. In season 6, she sang in OMWF that she felt empty and wanted “the fire back”. In Chosen, she got this fire back in her shared moment with Spike when she took his hand. Symbolically, she got her fire back. And that’s because she really loved him. I believe she fell in love with him, but needed time to open herself to that love. Because her life hasn’t been easy up to this point, and she got burned several times. And it was Spike, her former enemy, which made things more complex.
But at the end of the day, I think their relationship meant a lot to their characters and their characters’ journey.
Aaaannnd… Buffy’s last word in the show was “Spike” .:)
(English is not my mother tongue, sorry if I made mistakes! And sorry for being so passionate on the subject, I didn’t think my post was going to be so long!).
Brava!! Well said!!! After rewatching Season 7 this week? I saw it. Buffy’s true love for Spike. She really did love him. Her face in Lies My parents Told Me, when she thought Spike was in real danger, said it all. That woman truly loved and needed him. And in the end? She respected him too. Your points were beautiful! No worries about english as a second language. Your words came through perfectly. Your perspective on both relationships rings true. I’m glad you commented. Now I must read every post Chosen Spuffy fanfic out there, to see what their possibilities could have been 😉
Beautifully said, I agree totally. The fact that they each saw each other at their worst and at their most vulnerable really adds a lot to their relationship. They know each other, understand each other in ways other people can’t. Interestingly, in “Something Blue”, Buffy hesitates in dating Riley, and suggests that you can’t have real, passionate love without pain. And boy was there pain in their(Spike/Buffy) relationship. And again, it ended up bringing them closer.
Though I’m curious, if you see this post, what do you consider as the misogynistic notions that Spike has?
Buffy’s rleationship with Spike was unhealthy and destructive when he didn’t have a soul. At that point, she didn’t love him, and she couldn’t let herself love him. When he got his soul back, for her, he was every bit as selfless as Angel. He asked Buffy to kill him, and later proposed to leave Sunnydale because he thought he was a danger for Buffy and the others. She refused. She needed him to stay, and so he did. And her relationship with Angel was arguably unhealthy in the sense that she was so completely in love with him that she was losing herself in him. She said to Angel, in the beginning of season 2, that she couldn’t see anything in her future but him. That’s romantic, but also dangerous. She let herself, her happiness, be defined by her relationship, which probably would have ended badly even without the curse. And when Angel came back from hell, their impossible relationship was also arguably unhealthy, which prompted Angel to leave. In a way, Buffy was doomed for complex, painful and often unhealthy relationships given her role, walk of life and life experiences. But I think the relationship she has with Spike in season 7 is probably the healthiest we’ve seen. Mutual support and respect, loyalty, care, and yes, love. Both care for each other, rely on each other without being dependent. If only they had a little more time to further those feelings(I know they do in the comics, but I’m not there yet)…
Buffy loves Angel, that’s undeniable. She probably always will have feelings for him. But the point of her cookie dough speech was not that she still had plans for a life with Angel. On the opposite, the whole point is that she doesn’t have plans, and implicitly that right now Spike is the one she needs and wants with her. Again, she still has feelings for Angel, and she lets him know that they might still have a chance one day(if only he could get rid of that pesky curse). And that’s the reality of love: throughout your life, you will probably love many persons. Perhaps not all of them in the same way. And even if you keep feelings for one person, that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else as well(indeed, you can love and have relationships with many persons at the same time, which might or might not end well). Bangel and Spuffy are really difficult to compare, as they’re so different. Buffy completely fell in love with Angel as a teenager. As far as we know, he was the first person she really loved romantically. But so much happened to her since, and her character changed quite a lot. Her relationship with Spike was really different, so much more complex, and really evolved over many years. Less pretty, also. Painful, but intense and beautiful in its own way. Buffy’s feelings for Spike changed and grew to finally become love. From “School Hard”, when he was just a big bad vampire trying to kill her, to “Intervention”, when she first saw his feelings for what they were(although she kept deyning it to herself throughout season 6), and to “Chosen”, when she saw her own feelings for what they were, there was a tremendous evolution. And that’s what makes their relationship great. Did she love him more than Angel? Probably not, but only because she didn’t have the time to. And again, her relationship with Angel was so different, that it’s not really comparable. I mean, Spike tried to rape her, and she still had feelings for him. Even before she knew he got his soul back, I think she still showed compassion and care when she saw him again in “Lessons”. And just after “Seeing Red”, she still trusted him to watch over Dawn. Not without reasons(as she said, he couldn’t, and he had no reason to), but probably not without feelings either.
The Spike/Buffy relationship really brought a fact of real relationships to light: people who love each other can still hurt each other. I think Spike’s love for Buffy, even without a soul, was undeniable. It was obsessive, it was dangerous(as he admitted himself), but it was “real” love nonetheless. But love isn’t always pretty, and it can lead people to do pretty ugly things, especially when their feelings are not requited, and when they become desperate. But then again, love can be a powerful force for good, a force for change.
I think their relationship really says a lot more interesting things about love and relationships than her relationship with Angel did.
Spike and Buffy’s relationship made them both evolve as characters, and consequently their relationship evolved with them.
So I vote for Spuffy if only because it is so much more complex and interesting, and yet still beautiful and heartwarming in the end.
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