How ‘Schitt’s Creek’ Created a Roadmap for Grief

At the start of this year, I was at the end of my rope — heavily burdened by my grief over the loss of my grandfather. I didn’t know where to turn for a guide. Then someone suggested that I start watching Schitt’s Creek to gain a semblance of joy back in my life.

I started watching this little Canadian show and I found myself slowly working through my emotions. I found a way to process my grief and move forward toward acceptance.

It surprised even me, because on the surface, the show is about acceptance of others, love, and being yourself. However, when you look deeper you realize that the Roses all have a thing or two to say about grieving a big loss.

The show begins when the Rose clan gets the rug ripped out from under them and they lose everything. They each have to process this change in their lives in their own ways — very much like people who experience the loss of a loved one.

Each member of the family has a very different approach to their new life in Schitt’s Creek, and they each go on a different journey that takes them down a path toward acceptance.

It is very important that these parallels and comparisons exist because there isn’t just one way to handle a loss or to grieve. Schitt’s Creek‘s excellent writing shows us that in Johnny, Moira, David, and Alexis.

Let’s look at the patriarch of the family first because he sets the framework of acceptance for the rest of his family. Johnny Rose is the stoic pillar of strength from the very beginning. His first response is to encourage his family to make the most of their situation.

It’s clear from the look on his face that he doesn’t like this new normal any more than the rest of them do. However, he keeps it to himself and stands tall for them instead.

It’s interesting this is his reaction because, of all of them, he had the most to lose. Johnny created Rose Video from the ground up and in one fell swoop, it is gone.

He is representative of an older generation that believes in pulling themselves back up, dusting themselves off, and moving on without a second thought.

In all honesty, this reminded me of my grandfather, which gave me tremendous comfort. Johnny rarely shows a moment of weakness or discomfort in any of the seasons. All because his focus is more on his family than himself. He doesn’t want to appear weak in any way.

Johnny: It’s gonna take hard work, but we can do it because we’re Roses.

So, when he has to go to unemployment he doesn’t tell anyone where he is going. He constantly refers to it as “an errand in Elmdale.” It isn’t until Roland breaks him down that he admits what he’s doing.

Johnny is the silent nurturer through Season 5. He first does it with Moira and when she no longer needs him to get through the day, he finds it somewhere else — most notably in his work and re-branding of the motel.

At that moment, he becomes Stevie’s nurturer. Johnny focuses on the business to avoid thinking about the loss of his own business.

Through this work, he can find joy in creating something again. He is given a second chance at being the captain of another small, but flourishing enterprise. With nurturing and hard work Johnny finds peace in his life in Schitt’s Creek.

Grief is like that sometimes. Some of us take on the nurturer role and focus on everyone else but ourselves. We believe that we have to be the ones who are strong and don’t ever falter, but we still grieve alone in the dark and silence. We find a way through to the other side by caring for others.

If Johnny is the subtler end of coping with grief, then Moira is the extreme. From the moment they get word that they’ve lost everything she goes into hysterics. She constantly makes remarks about how she would rather be dead than to live in their new home.

Moira: Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut!

Her reactions become less histrionic as the first season progresses, but the utter disdain remains. You could even say she lives in a constant state of denial and depression.

She clings tightly to her previous life through the clothes and wigs she wears. Each piece a form of armor or security blanket that keeps her safe in an unknown world.

So when her husband announces he found a buyer for the town and that they may get their money back, she leans entirely in and tries to help make that happen for them. Moira refuses to let go and this is her moment to regain what she lost.

It’s the first time we have ever seen Moira joyful and full of hope. That is when it sinks in for viewers that through all of this chaos of their new normal, Moira never gave up hope of returning to the life she once knew.

Of the entire family, Moira is the least accepting of their new lives and has the hardest journey towards even an ounce of acceptance.

It isn’t until Schitt’s Creek Season 3 Episode 12, “Friends & Family” that Moira states out loud that she isn’t the same person she was when they had money. It’s been a long time coming for her, but not completely out of left field. In Season 2 she decides to campaign for a seat on the council and to also join the Jazzagals.

These two steps — while seemingly insignificant to many other people — are world-changing for Moira. This is when her view on the town starts to turn around.

However, she hasn’t come so far as to let go of her image from her previous life. Her clothes remain designer and teeter on outlandish for Schitt’s Creek, but for Moira, it is who she is.

It’s her purpose in this world. She doesn’t have a clear image of who Moira is without money and fame so she wears her clothes in the hopes that they will lead her to her new self-image. 

This slow and arduous journey for her isn’t without its setbacks. She realizes along the way that her star power isn’t what it once was and so she works hard to try and reclaim it.

It’s not a forward progression for her but it’s not a negative one either. It’s merely a linear path. One moment that sets her back — or is going to set her back — is the realization that the film she thought would be her comeback isn’t going to happen anymore.

And while the news of her film not having a release does cause her to go into hysterics like we haven’t seen since the very first episode, there is hope that she will come out the other side just fine.

Her initial reaction may be to curl up in a ball in the closet, but on a deeper level, she now has the skills to fully cope with kinks to her plans. Moira has grown, even though her growth isn’t huge, it’s still important to her.

Some people handle grief this way as well. For some, the loss is so great they bury their heads in the sand and refuse to even deal with any part of it. They deny that it happened and refuse to move forward. Or they become depressed to the point of being unable to truly function.

Their path to acceptance is much slower, but it’s still an important journey to make. Schitt’s Creek isn’t afraid to tell those individuals that their pain and recovery are valid and perfect for them. There is no specific way to grieve, and for some, it requires a full-body shutdown.

The other Rose family member who struggles with this new normal is David. His path similarly follows that of his mother’s, but instead of depression, he showcases anger. From the very beginning, his first lines ever, David is showing the world he is angry that this loss happened.

David: I’m still trying to wrap my head around what kind of sick person wants to get paid to destroy another person’s life. Destroy another person’s life!

That anger carries him through their move to Schitt’s Creek. He mocks everything about the life they now lead and refuses to let go of his lavish creature comforts.

Much like Moira, David insists on continuing to wear designer clothing and expensive sweaters.

David stubbornly refuses to give these things up because they make him feel like himself — they comfort him. As long as he clings to these things he doesn’t have to think about Schitt’s Creek or the realities of the life he led before their fall.

He even continues to treat people in Schitt’s Creek the same way he did in New York. The only difference is the residents of Schitt’s Creek don’t condone it, like others used to.

That’s because David no longer has the clout he used to smooth over any social situation. David has to learn to navigate all aspects of living when you don’t have money to shut people up or to make them like you.

When Stevie, his one friend in Schitt’s Creek, refuses to join him on a return to New York, David spirals. The walls of denial he’d carefully put up starts to fall. This moment on Schitt’s Creek Season 1 Episode 13, “Town for Sale,” is when David starts his journey toward acceptance.

That’s not to say he changes his tune overnight, David still has a lot of healing to do. His healing process doesn’t start to conclude until the end of Season 5. It takes him years, which is completely valid.

Schitt’s Creek Seasons 2 and 3 are the beginning of David’s journey toward acceptance and healing. He starts to make decisions based on staying in Schitt’s Creek versus leaving it.

This change in thinking leads him to get a job at The Blouse Barn and to start making money of his own. For the first time in his life, David is finding that he can be independent of his parents and their money. He doesn’t need that crutch anymore.

This empowers him to make a move to lease the old general store when it becomes available. His mother tells him he can’t manage a business on his own because his parents paid for his business when he owned the gallery in New York.

Before Schitt’s Creek and his major life change, David would have taken this information and used it as an excuse to do reckless things. Now, he takes that information and uses it as fuel to prove his worth and skills to his parents. 

From the beginning of the show, Johnny and Moira haven’t believed David could successfully handle any kind of enterprise. Knowing this — and having the support of Stevie — David confidently goes to the council to petition to take on the lease of the store. 

It also fuels his passion when he is telling Stevie and the town newcomer, Patrick about his vision for the space. David isn’t entirely qualified to own a business, but he has the confidence to make things happen. And with help from Patrick, he manages to make a great store.

The relationship he has with Patrick is part of David’s healing process from his loss. Patrick awakens in David the ability to trust people and tear down a few of his walls. Because of Patrick’s influence and encouragement, David starts to wear more than just black and white sweater outfits.

This wardrobe change — while subtle and not consistent — is a physical representation of the changes happening in David’s mind and psyche. He is letting down his walls and finding comfort in the people around him instead of the clothes/his past life.

Around the time that David starts to date Patrick, we start to see him wearing a little bit more color and occasionally a top that isn’t a sweater. That’s not to say David doesn’t still cling to his designer clothes, but we do start to see him compromise a bit on what he wears.

It’s because he’s starting to like and appreciate his life in Schitt’s Creek and these clothes aren’t what’s important anymore. He still loves his sweaters but we are more likely to see him shedding those layers around Patrick in a way that shows his willingness to be vulnerable.

Even then, David has a few setbacks. The most notable of which is when Patrick’s ex-fiance shows up and reminds David that despite trusting Patrick he still has past grievances he needs to work through to move forward.

David never would have changed the type of person he was in relationships if not for his new life change. The David before Schitt’s Creek would have never told his partner all about his relationship insecurities and opened up his heart as he does with Patrick.

He also would have never been moved to tears by Patrick’s song or his proposal.

For people like David, they find healing from their grief after finding something outside themselves to believe in and work on. Hard work and passion are facilitators for acceptance.

David found something worth working for and that helped him to find solace in his new town. It’s a years-long journey, but well worth the time because the process is never rushed and allows for fallbacks and stall outs. 

Grief is a process for some. Some days are better than others and time is the best medicine.

Giving us a bit of faith and trust is what we need most to work through the emotions we are feeling. It’s also important to understand that for the David types grief can sometimes sneak up and knock them down even when they feel they’ve gained a bit of control.

Last but certainly not least, we have Alexis Rose. Her journey is very much a journey of self more than a journey of acceptance. From the beginning, Alexis is much more accepting of the loss than any other member of her family.

She sees this new world they have to live in and yes she tries to escape, but ultimately — when that falls through — she is the first to make connections with people in the town. She almost immediately takes Stevie up on her suggestion of going to a bonfire event.

Her journey from that point forward is one where she finds strength in herself because she doesn’t have to journey first toward acceptance. She almost immediately falls into her habits of dating whichever boy is willing, even venturing to pursue two of them at once.

When both of those relationships fizzle out because of her lack of interest or the relationship just not working, Alexis asks for a rare hug and then picks herself up and keeps moving.

Schitt’s Creek Alexis realizes that she is worth more than her father’s money and terrible relationships that lack substance. She is worth investing time and energy in and she can be her own boss if she so inclines, which she does.

Alexis: Love that journey for me.

Alexis immerses herself in bettering herself when she is between relationships. This allows her to better know herself as a person before attaching her heart to someone else. She is the personification of the adage, “you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you.”

She goes back to school and furthers her acceptance of her new normal by creating lasting relationships with the people around her. She becomes friends with Twyla and allows Jocelyn to be her mentor.

She turns down an opportunity to leave Schitt’s Creek because she has a new business idea to see through to fruition. In short, she believes in herself because the people around her believe in her.

Her confidence in herself translates over into the Singles Week event that she came up with and her mother decided to co-chair with her on. Her brother is even involved by making his business available for new products geared toward the event.

It becomes an event, that she has created and organized with little to no help from her mom. Alexis is a strong, independent woman and realizing that helps her to realize that the relationship she gave up on so quickly — Ted — is the one that she wants to cultivate.

So, Alexis doesn’t showcase much grief, but she does showcase acceptance and growth. Some people handle grief in that way as well.

No one said that you have to be constantly sad for a while when you lose something as great as a loved one or an entire lifestyle. Some — like Alexis — find it much easier to have a very short period of denial and then decide it’s easier to just accept the new normal and move on.

These people aren’t wrong or — as David would say — incorrect either. Their feelings are just as valid even if they don’t necessarily make any sense to those around them. This approach doesn’t mean they don’t care or mourn the fact that they’ve lost, it just means they would rather focus on where to go from there.

All of these depictions of grief in such beautiful and artful ways show fans why Schitt’s Creek is more than just a simple comedy. The show tells people that they are safe in their emotions because the characters they are watching know and understand what they are going through.

While showcasing the stages of grief may not have been the intention of the series, the markers are still there and they bring in a larger group of fans. These fans are seeking an escape or a guide through their feelings of loss and grief, and the Rose family provides them with that.

I found strength in the journey of David Rose because I saw most of myself in him. When my grandfather first passed, I was angry. That was where I was at when Schitt’s Creek came into my life.

Then through the power of love and understanding, the Rose family showed me a way to navigate all my feelings and find hope again. Hope in myself and my life. 

That is the vastly under-represented power of Schitt’s Creek. It’s a haven for those who are neck-deep in grief.

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The final season of Schitt’s Creek will air in 2020.

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Schitt’s Creek is the Perfect World We Desperately Need Right Now