The Bachelorette Recap: C Is for Creepy (Season 15 Episode 2)
On The Bachelorette Season 15 Episode 2, Hannah B. catches some feelings for Luke P. One over-eager suitor aggravates the other men.
Hannah B. is still basking in the afterglow of being chosen as the Bachelorette, and it’s time to get down to the business of group dating and multiple make-out seshes. There are still way too many dudes to be able to tell most of them apart, but this is when the real contenders begin to pull away from the rest of the pack.
Now, instead of being a bunch of haircuts in suits, the eligible men become haircuts in casual wear. The first group date includes Grant, Luke S., Mike, Jed, Jonathan, John Paul Jones, Dylan, and Luke P.. Prima diva drag queens Alaska, Alyssa Edwards, and “Queen of the Catwalk,” J. Alexander join Hannah for the challenge.
The men learn they’ll be participating in the Mr. Right Pageant, so they can get a taste of Hannah’s world. All they have to do is walk the runway wearing a speedo and demonstrate some modicum of talent. That’s why there’s no fatties or uggos on this reality dating show.
Chris Harrison dusts the cobwebs off, recharges his battery, and shows up to host. Hannah and her sisters (and by sisters I mean queens) serve as the judges.
All the boys look good in their speedos, but Luke P. is the clear favorite among the judges, and even John Paul Jones can’t escape the gravitational pull of Luke’s sex appeal, “Luke has the body of a Greek go, my gosh.”
Luke P. may be the fairest of them all, but Jed crushes it when it comes to talent. He’s like John Mayer only way less douchey, more sexy, and more talented.
Luke P., having no discernable talent other than being totally aggro, makes a bold (is bold the right word?) move by announcing he’s falling in love with Hannah. That’s ridiculously fast even if we’re on Bachelorette Standard Time (BST).
This move doesn’t go down well with the other men who think Luke needs to slow his roll. But Luke’s gamble pays off because he wins the title of “Mr. Right.”
Luke P. wins the sash, but it’s Jed who gets the rose. Luke P. gets Hannah’s motor running but around Jed she feels calm. At least we know Hannah isn’t totally be controlled by the tingle in her bathing suit area.
The time comes for Hannah’s first one-on-one, and the lucky guy is Tyler G. I’m not sure how this tall drink of water escaped my notice during the premiere, but he has a chiseled jaw that would make Henry Cavill (Man of Steel) swoon. Hannah compares him to Tim Tebow, only hotter. Agreed, Hannah, agreed.
Their date consists of a helicopter ride, four-wheeling (because Hannah is real and authentic and a “dirty girl”), and a romantic dinner atop a fancy hotel. It’s during dinner we learn that Hannah’s biggest dream is to be a wife, mother, and philanthropist.
She doesn’t specify exactly how she plans to make the world a better place (shocking coming from a beauty queen), but she’s going to do something. Things go well and Tyler G. gets a rose.
Devin, Matteo, Connor J., Kevin, Dustin, Tyler C., Joey, Peter, Garrett, and Daron are Hannah’s picks for the second group date. Cam, aka “Always Be Cam (ABC)” is bummed to learn he won’t see Hannah until the cocktail party. Or will he?
These guys get to compete in a roller derby, The Bachelorettes Derby Dudes Derby, but the best part has to be Hannah B. wearing latex, black hot pants. That’s a bold fashion choice.
Every season producers find a reason to drag out poor Fred Willard and try (and fail) to recreate his Best in Show days.
After proving roller skating is dead. All of the guys can’t stop talking about how important it is they all get time with Hannah B. They really keep emphasizing this point which is just a set up for Cam to come rolling in with a bouquet of flowers.
I didn’t know the suitors are allowed out of the mansion. I assumed they were chained to bunk beds or on some sort of lockdown.
None of the guys think this is cool, and Hannah has the power to send Cam back to from whence he came. She’s surprised, but she could pull it together and put him in his place. It’s during times like these when you begin to feel the producers’ grubby hands on the situation, and nobody wants to be touched in their no-no place.
Cam isn’t sorry. This guy isn’t just Always Be Cam, he’s also Always Be Creepy. He’s in it to win it because apparently being chosen to be on The Bachelorette is a free pass to stalk the lucky girl.
Hannah gives the rose to Dustin because he literally fell and got back up. There’s a whole metaphor there.
Being pursued by so many men at once is overwhelming which may be why Hannah B. shows up to the cocktail party on the verge of tears. The men look mortified, and we keep waiting for her to drop some kind of bomb: somebody died, someone left unexpectedly, or there’s a weird new twist.
But she never really articulates why she looks like somebody ran over her tiara. She’s just happy, and lucky, and, don’t ever forget, so real and genuine.
Cam continues to be obnoxious and crashes Kevin’s time with Hannah, luring her away with chicken nuggets (Always Be Controlling).
Cam isn’t a threat. The person who everybody needs to worry about, including Hannah, is Luke P. A massage practically turns into dry humping. Poor Jed walks into a half-naked Luke P. and a mortified Hannah. He also may have prevented the two from conceiving on national television.
Hannah’s under no obligation to squash her carnal desires but at least save it for a date. Jed is a real gentleman about the whole thing, but given the previews of what’s to come, I fear there is some slut-shaming in store for Miss Hannah B.
For a football fan, Hannah needs to remember to keep her head in the game. This is only the second week, and she’s got much more promising prospects than a guy who had his come-to-Jesus moment in the shower.
Hannah eliminates Connor J., Daron, Peter, and Matthew.
Hannah says goodnight but receives an unexpected visit from Luke P. as she’s doing an interview. She expresses some doubt over his declaration that he’s falling in love with her, but he swears he’s the real deal. We shall see.
What did you think of this episode of The Bachelorette? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.
Want more from Tell-Tale TV? Subscribe to our newsletter here!
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.