Vanderpump Rules Recap: Reunion Part 3 (Season 7 Episode 24)
On Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 24, “Reunion Part 3,” Tom Schwartz defends his wife and his penis. Kristen clashes with Stassi and Katie over Carter.
You just know it’s a good reunion when somebody stomps off the set, and this one has seen more exits than a flight attendant. The latest cast member to exit is James who really has good reason to bail.
Katie makes it clear she’s got zero sympathy for James’ family issues since she’s been silently suffering from PTSD and depression. Everyone agrees James doesn’t deserve any props for helping out his mum and dad financially (apparently the entire cast has relations who are cashing checks), and Kristen really goes in for the kill.
Doute isn’t happy until she draws blood, and by calling James’ family a bunch of a**holes, she succeeds. Lisa talks James off the ledge and urges him to “pull yourself together and defend yourself.”
The conversations shifts from deadbeat relatives to the trip to Mexico. But Schwartz finally has to answer for A) inviting James and B) letting Sandoval take the fall. Schwartzy justifies his incredible stupidity by claiming he thought enough time had passed since the fatty comment that launches one firing, and a ton of hate on social media for Katie.
Schwartz does confess that once he heard the girls’ reactions, he threw his best friend under the bus in a “moment of cowardice.”
Katie still finds herself answering for holding James accountable to such a high degree for the words that come out of his mouth and not herself. Katie refuses to acknowledge any similarities in their behavior.
Andy takes her to task for constantly insulting Schwartz’s penis, warning her that she’s going to say it too much, and one day the d*ck won’t work. Schwartz defends his member as “classic.” The anatomical equivalent of the little black dress.
Stassi’s beau, Beau, joins the group. Then we endure a series of clips of her ex-boyfriends acting like complete D-bags. See, men think women are crazy, but it’s men who cause the lunacy. Stassi’s “dark passenger” wasn’t born, it was made from the remains of past relationships.
It’s Kristen we have to thank for bringing Beau into our lives (and Stassi’s). The twosome co-starred in an independent film together 12 years ago. Beau even gets to first base (in the movie).
We’re all pulling for Stassi, or maybe praying for Beau. These two kids look like they might make it work. Stassi and Beau attribute her psycho girlfriend behavior to alcohol, Adderall, and insecurity. Stassi has taken Adderall out of the equation, suppressing the dark passenger … for now.
Tequila Katie vs. Dark Passenger is coming soon to a theater near you.
Stassi’s mother’s comments about Beau being too good for Stassi, and her fears that her daughter will mess things up caused a rift between mother and daughter that lasted for months. They just recently reconciled. If it’s not one thing, Stassi, it’s your mother.
Contrary to Kristen’s earlier revelation that she’s no longer dating Carter, we find out the two do still live together and occasionally have sex. She also stands by the statement she makes on the show that if she were to marry anyone, it would be Carter.
This leads to arguing between Kristen and her best friends. Kristen insists that Katie and Stassi’s tough love doesn’t work for her. So, basically, she wants to complain constantly about her loser boyfriend, and then have her closest pals not show concern about Kristen’s toxic relationship.
For years, she’s had to listen to Katie complain about Schwartz, and Stassi bemoan a string of losers, so turnabout is fair play.
Katie isn’t exactly who I’d run to for romantic advice. She and Tom’s wicked fight in Mexico is revisited, and Tom blames it on years of pent-up frustration. Speaking of pent-up frustration, in spite of Schwartz’s efforts to seduce his wife on the group vacay — no sex. No bueno.
These two never have sex, and while that information has been common knowledge from the jump, we really don’t know why. Well, in this particular circumstance, explosive diarrhea is the culprit. TMI, Katie and Tom, TMI.
During the final minutes of the reunion, the discussion spans everything from Lala being upgraded to one of Brittany’s bridesmaids to Jax’s disrespectful behavior towards Brittany’s father (he got an earful).
Also on the blue cards are questions about Kristen and Ariana’s unexpected friendship, and Jax’s continued estrangement from his mother (a woman acting on the wishes of her husband who didn’t want his kids to see him die).
James’ also likely seals his fate when he directs his ire towards Andy. Don’t expect to go up against the Godfather of Bravo and expect to be heard from again.
What did you think of this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.