Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Review: Rule #303 Burn that Shit to the Ground (Season 5 Episode 5)

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Season 5 Episode 5, “Rule #303: Burn that Shit to the Ground,” also known as the last episode before the final episode, sets up what is bound to be a drama-filled series finale.

Everything more or less went up in flames, and every girlfriend is currently at the lowest of lows — so to speak. This is the point in the story where everything is broken and a solution seems hopeless.

But, the finale will magically make a solution appear and everyone will live happily ever after. I hope.

I don’t actually know how they’re going to right everything within a 40-minute episode. But if anyone is capable, it’s Marti Noxon.

The Good

Phoebe

Phoebe finally letting her brother’s extracurriculars with Delia go and focusing on herself is undoubtedly my favorite part of this episode. Self-love is so important, sometimes you need to stop worrying about others and do you.

Phoebe is a protective sister, and this is something any older sister out there understands. You don’t want to see your younger sibling in any situation that isn’t good for them. We see all this, but we also see her taking on stress that she doesn’t need to.

Women, in particular, are prone to this behavior. We take on the world’s burden on our shoulders, and they weigh us down, sometimes to the point where we break. Seeing the signs and focusing on ourselves every now and then is so important.

Tess is good for Phoebe. She’s showing her that sometimes you need to prioritize yourself and let go. She shows Phoebe how to let loose. Something that Phoebe used to do a lot but lately hasn’t been. She needs this wake-up call.

We all do. Sometimes you need to forget about everyone else’s problems and focus on yourself. It’s good for your mental health.

Delia

Delia is in a sticky situation. She’s pregnant with her friend’s brother’s kid. She’s stressed. She’s messing up at work. She’s not doing so great.

I wasn’t a fan of this storyline originally. The idea of this strong independent ‘I never want to have kids’ woman suddenly deciding that she does want kids isn’t the greatest direction.

However, this led to some incredible acting on Necar Zadegan’s part — getting news that her embryos are no good. Seeing Albert and Delia work together and be civil after everything they’ve been through is a treat.

Delia more or less pushing Albert to go after Jo, when she initially hated the idea, shows character growth.

She has grown. She is not the same woman we met in the pilot.

Character growth is the determining factor in a successful series, and Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce completely passes.

Abby

Abby’s pitch was absolutely incredible. Her little outbreaks have been the defining factor in her success. She’s real. That’s what everyone loves about her.

She sold that pitch, like a boss!

The Bad

Jo

Oh JoJo, why tell Albert about a kiss that doesn’t mean anything? Albert is so good for Jo, and she’s fawning of Frump again. This is the same man that she is notoriously known for going back to again and again.

On Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Season 1 when she made her debut, some of Abby’s first words to her were she’s going to go back to Frumpkis.

Jo has seen her fair share of men of the seasons (gorgeous Scott for example) and let them all go. The common denominator is Frumpkis.

Please Jo, don’t do it. Go back to Albert. Or even finish off the series as a single woman. But please do not take Frumpkis back. He’s bad for you. Always has been, always will be.

Abby

Abby claiming that she and Mike made a mistake moving in together is so cold even for her. She’s stressed and making calls that she really shouldn’t.

I’m all for independent women, but lord knows we want Abby to be happy and in love at the end of this series.

She kicked it off in the midst of a nasty divorce. The last thing we want is to see her single at the end of this show. Get back together with Mike.

I would say bring back hot fetus (Warren Christie), but Abby and Mike have something solid. They fit well together.

The Ugly

Abby

Abby is a little all over the place this week. Moments with her kids are utterly adorable, but the moment when she wants to leave a 14-year-old having a meltdown alone to keep her plans with her daughter is troubling.

Over the years, Abby has had her moments where she isn’t on her game, but she has grown. She is at a point where this shouldn’t have been a question. Jake who is miles away — and clearly the more questionable parent — is the voice of reason.

She’s chickening out over the whole blended family thing. Now that she has the kids full time, Abby is scared. It is scary. Being a step-parent is scary. But she wanted this.

As Daughtry says, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And some you don’t want.”

Notable mentions: Lily and Abby’s relationship is blossoming beautifully before our eyes. Seeing the mother/daughter bond grow from the rebellious teen years to an adult/mature relationship is very special.

How will they wrap things up next week? I haven’t got the faintest idea. Something magical is bound to happen to allow all the pieces to fit back together and everything to get the happy send-off that the title is alluding to.

What did you think of this episode of Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce airs Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

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