Brooklyn Nine-Nine Review: Safe House (Season 5 Episode 12)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is BACK! And like a dear childhood friend, it’s as if no time has passed since we last hung out.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 5 Episode 12, “Safe House” combines tenderness, silliness, pop culture references, and Rosa to make a classic and near-perfect episode.
Honestly, Brooklyn Nine-Nine could just be continuous shots of characters sliding on their bellies across the carpeted floor, and it would be funnier than 99% of comedies on TV right now.
Luckily for us viewers, Brooklyn Nine-Nine reaches up from the carpet to the top of the highest perm to deliver laughs on “Safe House.”
The episode turns its romantic spotlight on impeccably polite husbands Captain Holt and Kevin. I thought it couldn’t get any sweeter than “I’d marry you in a dumpster.”
But then, Kevin and Captain Holt come at us, bonding over their shared incredulity at “dirt-bag” as an insult. And with that the loving and strange couple takes the sweetness lead.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine has perfected its craft of giving us characters we laugh at, but never disrespect.
We laugh at Jake’s action hero fanboying, at Amy’s Type A optimism, and at Captain Holt’s flat delivery of effusive emotions. Their laughable quirks and wonkiness bring us closer to them and invite us to bask in their weirdness with joy.
The key aspect of being able to joyfully giggle at the precinct members is that they do the same to each other.
At this point in the show, five seasons in, the characters of Brooklyn Nine-Nine have become a family. As a family, they make sacrifices for each other.
“Safe House” showcases the sacrifices the 99 willingly makes, without complaint, for each other.
Rosa Diaz does not do gossip. She also does not do blonde. But when Captain Holt needs her, Rosa gives her absolute best — including her raven locks.
Jake Peralta, likewise, sacrifices months of his life (and months of non-Kevin-exhaled air) to protect Kevin in the safe house.
The pervy library patron bit is hilarious, but it’s also remarkably tender. Jake is willing to put in over-the-top effort to provide Kevin two hours of library research time so his beloved father-figures don’t get divorced.

Amy even extends the love to skeezy Hitchcock. Amy is hyper-competitive, but when Hitchcock has the jigsaw puzzle magic, she puts her pride aside to make sure the team is doing the most possible for Captain Holt and Kevin.
It’s the constant tie-in to deep love and respect that makes the jokes on Brooklyn Nine-Nine more than the sum of their punchlines.
Another consistent Brooklyn Nine-Nine pillar is delivered on “Safe House”: witty writing.
The Nick Cage references on the episode abound, and in the culminating moments, Kevin bursts with emotion, chiding Jake for failing to present Captain Corelli’s Mandolin or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas during their months of captivity.
It’s just funny.
Captain Holt types texts as if they were letters, complete with “Sincerely.” It is achingly accurate for his personality. He couldn’t possibly text any other way! But it’s a sharp detail that represents the writers’ genius.
On an episode where everything works, it is challenging not to simply write this review as a list of all the things that make me laugh. That list alone would reach 500 words.

It is truly a testament to the family that Brooklyn Nine-Nine has built that it so effortlessly gives us a quick comedy, with deeply meaningful representation and emotional character development. The most compelling thing I have to say about it is my deeply satisfied sigh.
Toit Notes:
- Gina saying “Jaguar” is everything I need. But, then again, I hope to see more of Gina in the coming episodes.
- Speaking of Gina: WHERE IS GINA RODRIGUEZ?! I am beside myself with the anticipation of seeing Gina Rodriguez and Stephanie Beatriz as girlfriends.
- Captain Holt fuming at Kevin over his sham pervert portrayal because his pants aren’t even unzipped, is a Picasso-esque vision of married life. I love it, and I relate to it.
- Tit for tat has never been so funny.
- RENEW THIS SHOW! If FOX has any sense, it will declare Brooklyn Nine-Nine safe from cancellation!
What did you think of this episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Sundays at 8:30/7:30c on FOX.
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