Fellow Travelers Season 1 Episode 7 Review: White Nights

Amidst losing his son, Hawkins wallows in self-pity and actively seeks ways to torment himself on Fellow Travelers Season 1 Episode 7, “White Nights.”

Set 11 years after “Beyond Measure,” the series’s penultimate episode centers on Hawkins’ time spent on Fire Island in 1978 – a time set six months after the death of his son, Jackson, and the loss of his family.

Hawkins has immersed himself in drugs, alcohol, and endless men in an attempt to avoid facing the dark, intense emotions that come with the death of a child. Thus enters Hawkins after receiving yet another postcard from the man, but not without first contacting Lucy to touch base.

Tim informs her that over the years, Hawkins has stayed in contact but that his messaging has become more frequent lately when he’s intoxicated. To which she informs him Hawkins left home two months prior after being given an ultimatum: quit the drinking or leave.

At this point, the two’s interactions are only increasingly awkward and uncomfortable, thanks to Lucy. Later in the episode, we’re treated to a heartfelt moment between Lucy and Kimberly, who, on her own, has begun to figure out the truth behind Hawkins’s secret. Lucy shares that because she was head over heels, she did like many other women and closed her eyes to what she didn’t want to see, but to a certain extent, one has to take accountability.

Lucy sat over the years in hopes that Hawkin would change his ways, and when he didn’t, she actively chose to stay with him. Is his cheating fundamentally wrong? Yes. But, looking from the outside, Lucy has always loathed Tim for Hawk’s infidelity, failing to recognize that he’s an insatiable sexual deviant and was forever going to be cheating on her with or without Tim.

As “White Nights” exemplifies, Tim, in reality, is the sole reason for Hawkins’s return to his family. Tim spends the entirety of the hour on Fire Island with Hawkins, doing whatever he can to persuade the man to seek help for his addictions and finally open up about Jackson’s death.

Hawkins takes Tim to all the hot spots on the island, the two reconnect and bond in a spiritual way after a decade, and have some heavy, much-needed conversations.

Tim reveals to Hawkins that after his stint in prison, he was able to finally live his life as an openly gay man, telling his family about his sexuality and becoming a social worker to help others.

This instance, in particular, is so refreshing, especially after seeing the lengths to which Tim had to fight his inner demons to overcome his inability to accept himself. Seeing him living a happy, healthy life for himself out and proud does nothing but make me smile.

In the same aspect, it’s tragic knowing Hawkins could never overcome those same inner demons and live his life as proudly as he wished. Instead, he went to great lengths when he was planning his death to make sure his real identity was never exposed, hoping to leave his home on Fire Island to Tim so his family would never find out.

During his time catching up and immersing himself in Hawks’s new world, including heavy drug use, Tim’s attempts to get him to open up about Jackson’s pile-up into an untimely freakout. In the midst of Tim, Hawkins, and Craig (Hawkins’ new boo) having a drug-induced threesome, Hawkins loses at the sight of Jackson’s photograph on his bedside table, resulting in Matt Bomer’s strongest performance all season long.

Bomer perfectly encapsulates the torture and agony Hawkins is dealing with on the inside, all while not losing the depiction of Hawk’s heightened reality due to the drugs in his system.

Hawk’s freakout leads to a temporary moment of clarity, in which he confides in Tim how hard he fought to keep Jackson afloat and how much it affected him that his son wanted to never be like him. Through the revelation, Tim is under the guise Hawk will attempt to sober up, but that sentiment lasts less than eight hours as Tim finds him doing a line of cocaine in the dining room.

Tim: If this is what you want, fine. If you want to die, go on, fucking die. Your wife and your daughter have already buried a son and a brother, and they’re gonna have to bury you. But you don’t care because you’re so fucking selfish! I’ve wasted all this time. My life on you. Hawk, I’m done with you. I’m free.

Tim is the catalyst that ultimately saves Hawkins’ life and drives him back to his family, allowing him to be the “family man” depicted in the present timeline.

Meanwhile, back in San Franciso, Frankie and Marcus are dealing with the aftermath of Harvey White’s murder and their clashing opposing viewpoints. Marcus doesn’t believe it’s worth spending time stressing over Milk’s murder because it’s a white man’s issue, whereas Frankie disagrees. Throughout “White Nights,” the two butt heads as they navigate their different principles.

Working as a social worker for at-risk gay youth, Frankie works to open Marcus’ eyes to the horrors at play and why keeping silent prevents real change from happening. As the episode progresses, Marcus begins to form a real connection with Jerome, an at-risk university student who doesn’t allow Marcus to walk away from tough conversations.

During a night full of violence and intense emotions, Marcus pulls Jerome into the Castro to inquire about his living situation. Thus ensues a heartfelt moment between the two, with Marcus opening up about the horrors he’s had to endure as a closeted gay man and his longing for the ability to be open and free. It’s a privilege Jerome fails to realize he benefits from until a provoked Marcus explains his trials and tribulations.

Marcus: I wanted to tell my dad before he died, but I couldn’t.

While Frankie and Marcus might live their lives with one another in the present, it doesn’t overshadow the hard work it took to get to that moment.

“White Nights” is an exquisite penultimate episode that sets up the finale beautifully. With Tim on his deathbed, it’s safe to assume we’ll spend the majority of the episode with Hawk and Tim as the two reflect on their lives and love throughout the decades.

Stray Thoughts:

• I wish we could’ve seen one photo of Jackson as an adult to showcase Lucy and Hawk’s so-called bond with him because the two seemed disconnected from him in “Beyond Measure.” All we get to see are flashbacks of him as a child, which makes sense to a certain degree. The audience only knows Jackson as a child, and Lucy reflects on him during a time when he was most innocent. However, it insinuates that the two did no more family documentation throughout his childhood, providing a fundamental disconnect.
• I hope that in the finale, it’s revealed to Lucy that Tim is the reason Hawk returned to his family and was able to become the Grandad everyone loves. Maybe then she’ll be able to forgive him and not loathe him before his life ends.

What did you think of this episode of Fellow Travelers? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Fellow Travelers airs Sundays at 9/8c on Showtime.

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