Desperados Review: A Fun Summer Detour for ‘New Girl’ Fans

Don’t let the name fool you into thinking otherwise. Desperados is a desperate film — desperate to be different from the genres it so confidently tackles and desperate to win us over with its ridiculous high-stakes summer shenanigans.

The comedy follows Wesley (Nasim Pedrad), a woman who believes she’s finally found her soulmate in boyfriend Jared (Robbie Amell) until he seemingly ghosts her. Outraged, Wesley sends him a drunken email, only to find out the poor man had been in a coma.

She enlists her two best friends (Anna Camp and Sarah Burns) to come with her to Mexico and delete the incriminating email before her relationship implodes. There she runs into ex Sean (Lamorne Morris) and thus a New Girl reunion is born as our loveable Winston and Aly invoke a promising enemies-to-lovers trope.

Desperados is a fun summer detour for New Girl fans. But it is also a melting ice cream cone on scorching asphalt — a hot mess!

Maybe it’s me, but there are not enough jokes that stick the landing. The comedic bits involving a curious underage child, a horny CGI dolphin and a douchy boner-pill salesman are far more uncomfortable then they are enjoyable to watch.

Desperados is not enough girls-trip, not enough romance or comedy; just not enough — and also too much in other regards. Yes, I am 100% talking about the dolphin penis.

The email montage that sets this film into motion is a thing of drunk anger-fueled beauty as Wesley’s insecurities escalate into one epic email group bashing and a crazy coma story that brings it all crashing down with humiliating accuracy.

This film doesn’t conform to the idea of a grand summer con-job as it jumps from genre to genre, never allowing the story to stand on its own without slapstick comedy of some kind. However, a sun-soaked Mexico resort and chic vacation attire are reminiscent of the fun seasonal adventure we want this movie so desperately to be.

Pedrad is a strong female lead in every sense of the way. No matter how many times it feels like the plot is getting away from itself, Wesley keeps her feet planted firmly in place as our protagonist. She also does some incredibly dicing things in platform sandals.

Camp and Burns play the role of best friends well, matching Wesley’s screwed up circumstances with their own fleshed-out and valid problems.

It’s a pleasant surprise to see Brooke have revenge sex on her cheating husband with a female shaman. These storylines almost always involve a male saviour swooping in to help the woman understand she is worthy of being loved. Instead, it’s a spiritual goddess who shows Brooke the way in a rather liberating moment of reflection.

The idea that friendship is the most important connection one can have in life is a nice sentiment for this girls-trip hybrid to have. Unfortunately, it is a sentiment boggled down by greater plot issues.

Jared is more of a plot tool than a man. His signature good looks lend a comforting familiarity to this one-note relationship. That being said, for a movie that plays absolutely nothing safe, this predictability feels like a cough-out for Amell in particular.

Amell has come a long way from two-dimensional roles like this, proving he has the depth and charisma to be leading man material from projects like The Duff and Upload. So it’s difficult to return to such a flat role knowing his abilities are being underutilized.

Jared’s inability to look past our protagonist’s quirks is imminent from the moment he declares to Wesley that his ex-fiance is crazy — I mean, could there have been a bigger red flag here?

As much as I would have liked to be more surprised by this basic character arc, dumping someone because they think a guy clipping his nails on a plane is ”not a big deal” is a completely reasonable basis on which to end a relationship. Clipping nails on a plane is an act of treason and I’m glad Wesley agrees.

Jared is not the man Wesley came here for and this film does little to hide that fact.

Let’s just say, getting on board with Wesley and Sean romantically isn’t easy. Even with Morris and Pedrad’s established chemistry on New Girl, this film actively looks for ways to make loving them incredibly problematic.

They spend a chunk of the film shutting any notions of romantic feelings down after Sean’s cruel blind date opt-out. And only after Wesley’s underage sugar daddy bails her out of jail and a “bitch-ass” goat causes their jeep to crash, do the two start to open up and fall into a promising pattern of goofy foreplay.

Sean: Now you get to tell the kids how mom stalked daddy all the way to Mexico like a bounty hunter.

Desperados hits it stride as the messy circumstances of Wesley and Sean’s meet-cute escalates to a full-on dorky dance battle and a more in-depth discussion surrounding Sean’s deceased wife.

Sean is also a key factor in developing the film’s deeper premise: a woman shouldn’t try to conform to a man’s idea of ordinary just to have the love story they want. He encourages Wesley to be her wacky self in front of those she cares about not for his self-interest but for her own development.

The film does manage to catch us by surprise when Sean rejects Wesley again after their trip to Mexico. It is in this attempt to create shock value that the film risks what little investment we have in this up-hill battle relationship.

Sean later explains he can’t date Wesley because he knows what they have is real and he’s not ready to be emotionally available to another woman. He then immediately backtracks and declares he is ready by kissing Wesley on the street in a swoon-worthy moment that is not at all deserved but is cute none-the-less.

There’s just something about Sean’s blind date watching as he hooks up with another girl that takes away from the ambiance.

I think the issue with Sean and Wesley is the chemistry is there, it’s just bogged down by a premise that can’t fully commit to being a romance or a comedy. None the less, if you were a fan of their relationship on New Girl you won’t go hungry.

The spirit of Winston and Aly is very much alive and thriving in the back-half of this film.

Desperados would be a much more enjoyable movie if it didn’t have its audience constantly contemplating if going along with what’s happening makes us bad people. I mean, doesn’t it?

This film feels more like a humid fever dream than a blissful summer rom-com. Any resemblance of a storyline we can invest in is ruined by the plot’s insistent need to be the butt of the joke. 

There’s not enough comedy or romance to sell me on Wesley’s story, which is a shame because this cast is bursting with untapped potential — Pedrad and Morris especially!

What did you think of Desperados? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Desperados is streaming now on Netflix.

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