The Conners Review: Slappy Holidays (Season 2 Episode 7)

For The Conners Season 2 Episode 7, “Slappy Holidays,” Thanksgiving is too much fighting and not enough food. Literally, the lack of turkey just really brings all the underlying conflicts up to the surface. 

While it is nice to see this family finally make some headway on their argument over Bev’s inheritance, it doesn’t come to viewers in a way that seems satisfying enough. Let’s be perfectly clear, Becky and Jackie may get what they’ve been after this whole time, but nobody wins.

I know that ever since the idea of re-opening the Lunch Box entered the focus of this season I have been extremely critical of Darlene. To be fair, she is a fantastic and strong female archetype for other shows to follow. 

However, one of Darlene’s flaws has always been that she is stubborn. This is none more apparent than during this whole family feud. In a way, she has been right to turn them down because of how likely it is they will fail.

One of the great things to come out of “Slappy Holidays” is Mark, Mary, and DJ coming out of the shadows to actually have a say in their family’s conflict. This moment is great because it is when Darlene really sees how obtuse she’s been lately. 

Unfortunately, Darlene finally caving and allowing her sister and aunt to reopen the Lunch Box doesn’t have the desired effect on us. Maybe it’s because she so strongly stuck to her guns all this time, and then one word from her father and it’s all “I’d love to give you our entire inheritance.”

While I do want Jackie and Becky to re-open Lunch Box, it would have been even better to watch them find a way to prove their worthiness for the space. It would be nice to see Darlene have an active part in the re-opening of this Lanford staple. 

Maybe then the sting of how flippantly the problem is resolved will ease a little. 

Another great thing this episode gives us is Dan finally putting his foot down and asserting his authority over the family. He sees that Darlene is being stubbornly unfair, but that Jackie and Becky aren’t fairing much better in their actions.

Dan: I’m surprised it took her this long to slap you.

When the argument falls into dragging Roseanne through the mud territory, Dan shines as the patriarch. All season, it has been stated that Dan doesn’t assert himself nearly enough as a leader of the clan. 

Now, he finally puts his foot down, and it has his desired result. Dan just wants his daughters to stop fighting and ruining the holiday.  

Well, in a very anti-climatic way he gets exactly what he wants. The whole family puts this argument behind them and suddenly all that intense anger of only a few hours prior has been all but forgotten.

That is not realistic, and honestly, it comes across as self-serving. The Conners could have done better with having the argument reach a standstill and a compromise, but the hurt feelings still be just there under the surface. 

I mean, Jackie slaps Darlene for goodness sake! Are you honestly trying to tell me that both of these strongly opinionated and stubborn women are going to look each other in the eye and be “no worries all is forgiven?”

Not only that, Jackie and Darlene both reach deep into their well of insults for one another and came out swinging. That isn’t something that should just be swept away. 

The biggest disappointment of the evening, however, isn’t even Lunch Box related. When you bill an episode as a Thanksgiving episode, I expect to see everyone end up around the table in some way. 

Needless to say, The Conners deeply disappointed on that front as well. Poor Mark, his custom turkeys never really saw any use.

It is nice that in the end, Louise and Dan and Mark gather around the table for some pie, but I want a full meal with this dynamic family.

Further Thoughts:

• Darlene needs to worry less about being the power of attorney and lording that over everyone and focus more on what Harris is doing. She is failing spectacularly on that front.
• The relationship between Dan and Mark warms up the episode just a little bit. It’s just great to see how far they’ve come in their bond since the day Mark moved in.

What did you think of this episode of The Conners? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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The Conners airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC.

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