Fosse/Verdon Review: Where Am I Going? (Season 1 Episode 5)

Fosse/Verdon Season 1 Episode 5 “Where Am I Going” is a bottle episode whose events all take place over a weekend in Southampton in 1973 following Joan Simon’s death and Bob Fosse’s release from a mental institution.

It is a stunner of an episode. Where do we even begin?

An episode almost entirely devoid of musical numbers — save for a melancholic piano-accompanied rendition of Sweet Charity‘s “Where Am I Going?” — it is an extraordinary showcase for Fosse/Verdon‘s cast, particularly Michelle Williams, Norbert Leo Butz, and Margaret Qualley, back for her second episode as Ann Reinking. 

While she does not appear in any new scenes, Aya Cash’s Joan Simon also makes a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance here too in a series of flashbacks, prompting me yet again to rave about their editing team.

Truly, it’s one of the few shows I have seen in awhile where I actually notice what the editing/construction adds to the story. It’s not flashy, but it’s incredibly effective.

The episode is more focused and less scattered than Fosse/Verdon Season 1 Episode 4 “Glory,” an ambitious episode that ultimately fell short. 

Margaret Qualley, who did not have much to do in her debut episode as Ann Reinking, makes quite an impression here. While she does have some physical similarities to Ann, the way she’s captured Ann’s distinct voice is the most striking aspect of her performance.

It’s also notable that two of the most compelling scenes of the night feature Qualley. Most of Fosse/Verdon focuses heavily on Fosse and Verdon, or at the very least, Fosse or Verdon, so it stands out when there’s a scene featuring neither.

When Paddy Chayefsky and Ann Reinking discuss Bob’s fragile mental health state, Qualley more than holds her own, and she does so again in a later scene with Williams as Gwen and Ann discuss Bob and how it’s now Ann’s job “to keep him alive.”

Yes, Bob’s a creative genius, but he’s also a bit of a selfish brute, and does not take care of himself. Ann seems a bit taken aback by Gwen’s directive, but it becomes clear as they speak exactly what keeps Gwen coming back to Bob time and time again.

Gwen and Bob are not great as romantic partners, and sometimes, they seem even warped as friends and co-parents, but artistically,  they understand each other in a way that no one else can rival.

We see glimpses of this in Fosse/Verdon Season 1 Episode 2 “Who’s Got the Pain?” when they first meet and begin choreographing Damn Yankees together and other moments throughout the series. 

It’s even more telling here. While Gwen credits Bob with giving her a daughter, her eyes light up whens he explains the other things he gave her: Lola, Charity, Roxie. 

The two biggest heart stopping moments of the episode, or what I should really call “Give Em the Emmy” moments, unsurprisingly feature Williams.  

I alluded to the first earlier. In a tribute to Joan, Gwen sings “Where Am I Going?”:

Where am I going?
And what will I find?
What’s in this grab-bag that I call my mind?
What am I doing alone on the shelf?
Ain’t it a shame,
No one’s to blame, but myself…
Which way is clear?
When you’ve lost your way year after year?
Do I keep falling in love
For just the kick of it?
Staggering through the thin and thick of it,
Hating each old and tired trick of it.
Know what I am,
I’m good and sick of it!

It’s not hard to find deeper meaning in the song.

Yes, Gwen is mourning her friend, but she’s also exhausted and frustrated for herself, struggling to find her way back to the stage, to get Bob to finally agree to direct Chicago, to regain her purpose after she’s seemingly failed as a wife, mother, and performer.

It’s devastating in the best possible way.

The other highlight is a moment with Bob, when some of Gwen’s deeper motivations become clear. Throughout the entire episode, Gwen is strongly pushing her agenda to have Bob do Chicago with (or for?) her. 

It’s one of the truly selfish moments we see of her and demonstrates that as much as he may have taken advantage of her at times, that toxicity could go both ways.

However, there’s more to it than Gwen having a one-track mind. In the wake of Joan’s death, she’s not sure how much longer she has; she’s terrified that her time is running out.

In that moment, the dam between Bob and Gwen breaks and they’re vulnerable with each other in a way they are not with anyone else, and naturally, in a moment of tenderness, Bob naturally agrees to work on the project.

This is Rockwell’s softest work to date, and I wish we had more opportunities to see this version of Bob Fosse. Throughout the series, Rockwell has done good work, and this is one of his strongest appearances, but he’s never given quite the platform that Williams is.

Blake Baumgartner as Nicole Fosse is quite fascinating. She has a stoic but magnetic presence reminiscent of Kiernan Shipka during her Mad Men days, and there are some similarities in their characters as she too is living in a world far too adult for her.

The show does not shy away from being critical of Bob and Gwen as parents; they love their daughter but they have significant failings as parents.

I am curious as to whether they series will touch on how their relationship with her evolves as she gets older and experiences potential fallout from her upbringing.

As an aside, given that Fosse/Verdon is about the creative process, I think it’s worth acknowledging some of the interesting connections between Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon and that of some of the people behind the show itself.

The 46th Street Theater where Chicago is scheduled to open and where Sweet Charity and Damn Yankees played? Why, it’s the theater where Hamilton (brainchild of producers Tommy Kai and Lin-Manuel Miranda)is currently running now renamed the Richard Rodgers. 

But I digress.

The entire episode plays like a masterful play, with hints of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Bob and Gwen can’t keep away from each other and they play to each other’s best and worst urges. The episode is an ideal case study of the push-pull in that.

It’s also a fascinating study of the people who circle around some of these intense pairings, simply hovering on the outside looking in.

The next episode should be a dive into a world of jazz and liquor; everyone buckle up for Chicago!

What did you think of this episode of Fosse/Verdon? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Fosse/Verdon airs Tuesdays at 10/9c on FX.

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