The Bachelor Recap: The Long (So Long) Goodbye(s) (Season 23 Finale: Part 1)

Part one of The Bachelor Season 23 finale is here, and one thing is for sure: It’s truly unlike any other finale in the series’ history.

Sure, there have been devastating breakups before. But Colton Underwood makes his mark as the first-ever season lead to go from three contestants to zero in the span of a week, effectively terminating his own search for love.

Of course, there’s still the second part of the finale left to air, and everyone who has half a brain has pretty much sussed out that Colton successfully woos Cassie back. After all, why would he be complying with the whole post-Bachelor press junket if he had well and truly “quit” the show? Nope, his search for love definitely ends up being successful, albeit in a non-traditional (and likely not engaged) way.

The first few minutes of the season finale (which switches back and forth between what happened in Portugal and the “live” studio audience follow-up portion) starts with a straightforward recap of what we’ve seen for far, up through the fence jump that ended The Bachelor Season 23 Week 9.

Colton hops the fence, which continues to be hilariously melodramatic — particularly when Chris Harrison simply has somebody press a button to open the gate normally before strolling through it. It takes like an extra second.

At this point, Colton puts his former pro football player skills to good use by promptly darting off into the Portuguese countryside at 11:30pm. As you do.

The producers and various crew members obviously start to panic, thinking they’ve lost him and that this could potentially be dangerous. Overall, it feels like we’re watching a scene from unREAL that normally would’ve been edited out of the final airing, which is kinda fun!

We spend far too long on shaky cam mode, as the producers and Chris Harrison scream Colton’s name into the night. Just minutes upon minutes of The Great Search For Colton. Eventually, somebody spots him walking down the road, but when Chris catches up to him, he insists that he’s done with the show.

So… that’s that for Tayshia and Hannah G., I guess?

Colton clearly has some deep-rooted insecurities that he voices to Chris in their powwow the morning after the Fence Jump Incident — and Cassie leaving him after he’s poured his heart out to her just drudged it all up. He feels like he’s never going to be loved back the same way he loves someone else. He also is convinced that Cassie does love him, and that it’s just The Bachelor format which is causing her to have doubts.

Um… sure. OK.

Chris helpfully points out the situation may just be that Cassie “just isn’t that into” Colton, and bless him for saying that! It needed to be put out there, even though Colton promptly shuts that down and insists he’s got a good read on people. He wants so badly to believe that Cassie loves him the way he loves her (or at least thinks he loves her).

For his sake, I hope he’s right!

In the end, Colton realizes that in order to prove his love to Cassie, he needs to show her how much he loves her… which he does by breaking up with both Tayshia and Hannah G. In order to pursue the mere possibility of having Cassie.

It’s certainly a grand gesture. And it’s also unbelievably painful to watch! The word “blindsided” gets thrown around a lot on this show, but I truly believe that Tayshia and Hannah G. (but particularly Hannah) are blindsided by Colton abruptly and prematurely dumping them.

The Tayshia Break-Up

Tayshia already had her one-on-one with Colton before the whole Cassie meltdown, so she clearly knows what’s up when he unexpectedly shows up to visit her. You can pretty much see it on her face. She knows it’s over.

Overall, she handles the break-up with composure, although you can see the flicker of annoyance when he flat-out tells her that he’s in love with Cassie. When Colton breaks down in tears over hurting her feelings, Tayshia literally apologizes to and comforts him, which is pretty remarkable. She’s a good person, and I hope to see her on Bachelor in Paradise!

We then cut to the live studio audience portion, where people are crying along with Tayshia on-screen. It’s pretty emotional. Then, Chris brings Tayshia out. She looks absolutely flippin’ gorgeous! Girl was not messing around with the whole “Make Your Ex Regret It” mood.

She definitely doesn’t love Colton anymore, but she just wants closure. She seems largely over their relationship and aware of what she wants and deserves in a relationship. When Colton comes out, they eventually have a decently pleasant conversation, though it starts off pretty awkwardly.

The Hannah G. Break-Up

Colton’s break-up with Hannah G. is somehow even worse. Hannah G. hadn’t even had the chance to have her overnight date with Colton, so she’s utterly taken aback when he shows up just to end things with her. She’s also kind of pissed off and confused, which is refreshingly realistic and genuine.

I can understand Hannah G.’s pain and fury. All season long, Colton really did act like it would be the two of them at the end. She got the first impression rose. He kept going on and on about how she reminds him of home. He asked her dad for permission to marry her. He didn’t give her a single inkling of doubt, or any indication that Cassie was constantly on his mind throughout all of their dates.

What a huge blow that is to her.

Colton’s conversation ending things with Tayshia wasn’t exactly flawless, but he really bungles the Hannah G. break-up. She tells him that she was about to confess that she loves him (something we saw her excitedly gushing about in a confessional immediately pre-breakup). In return, he tells her, “I thought it was going to be you” and repeats the “You still feel like home” thing. Oof.

Ultimately, Hannah G. is just confused and can’t understand why Colton isn’t even willing to give their relationship a try with Cassie out of the picture. He can’t give her much of a satisfactory answer, but he does cry a bunch after they part. He also gets a hug from one of the producers.

Colton: I don’t know if I’ve given up a for-sure thing for something that isn’t possible. That’s literally how much I love Cassie, is that I’m willing to walk away from something that great.

Live in the studio, Hannah G. (much like Tayshia) looks bomb AF. She admits that the aftermath of being on the show and not being able to speak about what had happened was really tough for her, particularly when people (who, like her, assumed she was the frontrunner) would ask to see her engagement ring. Big ouch.

Unlike Tayshia, Hannah G. is clearly still actively struggling with the break-up, which makes sense — Hannah G. is younger than Tayshia, and Tayshia already went through a divorce. This is potentially Hannah G.’s first big heartbreak. And it played out on national TV!!

When Colton joins Hannah G. on stage, she grills him, which I absolutely adore. She asks him the tough questions, particularly why he didn’t even bother to have their final date before ending things with her. Colton’s response is essentially that his relationship with Cassie and feelings for her were stronger, and so it never even crossed his mind to go through with his and Hannah G.’s date.

She also calls him out on doing to her essentially what Cassie did to him. GO OFF, HANNAH G.

In the end, Hannah G. takes the high road, telling Colton she hopes that he’s happy and that she knows she’s looking for her own fence-jumper.

Meanwhile, back in Portugal…

Technically, Colton has zero women left vying for his affections at this point. But then! We cut back to Cassie, packing up her belongings in the hotel and talking about how excited she is to go home to her family.

That’s when Colton shows up, knocking on her door, presumably to beg for another chance with her.

TO BE CONTINUED…

What did you think of this episode of The Bachelor? Do you think Cassie will agree to get back together with Colton in the second part of the finale? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

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