Vanderpump Rules Recap: So Vain in Solvang (Season 7 Episode 10)
On Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 10, “So Vain in Solvang,” James tries to set boundaries for his mother. The girls’ trip to wine country gets off to a rocky start.
Who would have thought there would come a day when we’d see Kristen Doute meet Ariana and Lala for brunch, and there would be kisses all around? That’s exactly what happens the day after TomTom’s soft opening. Kristen may have been left out, but she’s not taking it out on her friends… yet.
Kristen’s focusing all of her rage on one target — Lisa Vanderpump. Kristen can’t figure out why Lisa has a problem with her (really?!!), but Kristen tells the camera, “Whether Lisa likes it or not, I’m a part of the SUR family, and it’d be a lot easier for both of us if she just accepted it.”
Some variation of the sentiment behind that statement can probably be found in the stalker’s handbook somewhere.
Most of “So Vain in Solvang” is spent establishing how horrible it is to travel with Kristen. There really aren’t any specifics other than a clip from Season 6, showing Kristen throwing wine at James. But apparently, Kristen is a bigger pain in the ass than a lost carry on.
We all have a high maintenance friend with whom it’s better not to venture into a different time zone (mine kept a gun in the trunk of her car).
More interestingly, Stassi recalls how on a girls’ trip to Copenhagen (yes, instead of just Danish wine country, she went to actual Denmark), Kristen threw some kind of fit and left early, foregoing a subsequent jaunt to Paris. Who are these people? Podcasts and book advances for 200 pages about the joys of being basic must be very lucrative.
Lala is aware of Kristen’s bad travel manners, but because Kristen was there for Lala when her father died, Kristen gets a free pass and a ride on a private jet, aka “PJ.”
Currently, Lala is not drinking. It seems after a night of particularly bad behavior, Lala and her man, Randall, decided they would both abstain. This likely means Randall’s wallet stays closed if Lala pops open a cork.
Proving once again that nobody on Vanderpump Rules actually relies on a server-bartender’s salary to pay the bills, Jax, Brittany, Katie, and Stassi check out a venue for Jax and Brittany’s upcoming engagement party.
The price tag for this once in a lifetime event is a whopping 14 grand. I’m sure Brittany’s parents — humble people from Kentucky — aren’t cutting the check. Maybe Andy Cohen and the higher-ups at Bravo are footing the bill. Jax claims to see dollar signs, and he puts on an unconvincing show as a cash-strapped groom while Brittany pulls a full-on bridezilla.
Jax and Brittany also decide to go for pre-marital counseling. The subject of his cheating comes up, and Jax is very defensive and eager to change the subject.
As much as the twosome would have everyone believe their romance has gone from horror story to fairy tale, this therapy session reveals some cracks in the façade.
Jax sees no point in dwelling on the past, and Brittany is still working through some of her anger and trust issues. Dead dad or not, Jax isn’t a completely changed man. Under the unrelenting gaze of the therapist. Jax begins to squirm.
Not everyone views therapy as a bad thing. At Lisa’s urging, James goes to see his own mental health professional. This kid is jumping through fiery hoop after fiery hoop just to get a crappy DJing job back.
James’ father used to manage George Michael, but now he’s just a deadbeat who doesn’t support his ex-wife or his kids. James’ mother, a former model, is a woman used to a certain lifestyle and not well-equipped to rolling up her sleeves and working for minimum wage.
Stuck between mum and dad is James. He’s supporting everyone despite not having a job of his own. James also has to listen to mommy dearest constantly complain about dear old dad. James’ therapist urges James to set some boundaries.
James’ first attempt to get his mother, Jacqueline, in line doesn’t go very well. James’ demands aren’t unreasonable: he wants his mother to stop bad-mouthing his father to him, and he’d like to know how Jacqueline is spending the money James is giving her.
Mum is one salty Sally. It can’t be easy-going from the lap of luxury to a shoebox apartment in West Hollywood to ask your kid for money. But Jacqueline is not going to win any parenting awards.
Jacqueline doesn’t take kindly to James’ laying down the law, and she reminds him of his privileged upbringing, equating fancy private school and designer labels with being a good mother. The Vanderpump Rules producers are doing an excellent job of making viewers hate James a whole lot less
It’s not exactly subtle that we see James’ in tears after being berated by Jacqueline to listening to all the women discuss how their asses are far too precious for the likes of flying coach.
Jacqueline is a sly minx. She pays a visit to Lisa and pleads James’ case. Lisa isn’t quite ready to risk massive backlash from faux employees like Katie just yet. But Jacqueline has a back-up plan. She asks Lisa to hire his other son, Harry, as a busser.
You’d think Lisa would have learned from her dealings with this fallen family, but she’s willing to give Harry a job since it will take some financial burden off James. Harry is an unfortunate-looking chap. He’s very British — all teeth. I’ve noticed the less-attractive relatives of the show’s stars work jobs that keep them hidden away.
After watching James cry for the umpteenth time this season, it’s time for the ladies of SUR to make a huge production out of flying in a rented PJ for a sum total of 25 minutes. Kristen manages to work Stassi’s and Katie’s nerves immediately, forgetting her purse and making them late.
The gang arrives in the picturesque town of Solvang (backdrop for the movie Sideways). We get to hear the word “cute” as much as a woman’s whose newborn comes out with a lopsided head.
Scheana is disappointed to learn that nobody wants to share a room with her. With this group, I’d take that as a blessing, but Scheana’s already feeling like a seventh wheel, and this doesn’t help.
Take copious amounts of wine, a bunch of “basic bitches,” and Kristen Doute, and you’ve got the recipe for a massive meltdown. Forget “Tequila Katie.” It’s time for “Crazy Kristen.” Too bad we’ve got to wait until the next episode to witness it.
What did you think of this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9/8 on Bravo.
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.