American Horror Story: Apocalypse: The Most WTF Moments from “Sojourn” (Season 8 Episode 8)

The spawn of Satan suffers a massive identity crisis on American Horror Story: Apocalypse Season 8 Episode 8, “Sojourn,” and what results is the series mostly spinning its wheels for the better part of an hour.

As should’ve been clear from the title, “Sojourn” is an introspective episode that largely deals with Michael’s crisis of faith. Once again, it all takes place in the time prior to the apocalypse, though I get the sense we’re finally getting closer to the big event and will soon (hopefully) catch back up with the present.

While Cody Fern’s performance is superb as always, “Sojourn” is a rather bland installment that doesn’t really forward the plot in any significant way. It feels extremely filler-y, and all we learn by the end is exactly how Robot Mead came to be. And to be honest, much as I love Kathy Bates, I don’t think that revelation warranted an entire episode dedicated to it.

Since “Sojourn” is kind of a miss for me, here’s a rundown of its most WTF moments instead of a traditional review.

1. Cordelia fooling herself into thinking Michael can be saved

Is Cordelia being serious when she offers the Antichrist a path to redemption? Does she honestly believe he’ll take her up on it? If so, it’s one of the stupider moments to date from a character who is generally pretty intelligent.

2.  Michael tripping balls in the forest

This is actually the most interesting part of the entire hour, as Michael has a series of hallucinations while waiting four days for his Devil Daddy to answer his pleas for help.

Two blonde kids appear, a girl and a boy, offering him an apple and grape Fanta respectively.

Who are those kids? Is this a metaphor? Apples are obviously biblical, and it’s a neat twist to have a little girl specter offering an apple to the Antichrist.

But most important: Why grape Fanta? And what’s with that weird throwback can? (I know, I know; these are clearly the important questions I should be asking!)

The hallucination that seems like it’ll have the most bearing going forward is the hot shirtless angel boy who tells Michael that God loves him.

Does God love him? Might divine intervention actually redeem Michael in the nick of time? I’ll be waiting to find out, and I sincerely doubt that’s just a throwaway moment.

3. These bowl cuts

Dear god, why? Why would Ryan Murphy do this to Evan Peters and Billy Eichner?

Also, I doubt that Peters and Eichner are playing yet another set of new characters for no reason. So I’m assuming one of the final two episodes will clarify that Eichner’s Mutt and Peters’ Jeff (two misogynist tech bros who sold their souls for success and are headquartered in what becomes The Collective) later become Coco’s boyfriend and hairdresser Gallant, respectively.

In any event, I hate both of them. Truly. Passionately.

4. Venable works in HR

It’s Sarah Paulson! Again! In yet another wig — this time red!

After Venable was killed by Robot Mead way back in the beginning of the season, I wondered whether we’d see her again and what her purpose even was. Well, we do see her again, working with Mutt and Jeff. She’s wearing purple, in charge of HR, and a mega-bitch as per usual.

But most interestingly, she’s the only one of the trio that still has her same name. So why did all of these people except Venable get put under an identity spell by the witches? And the larger question: What is the purpose of the identity spell?

5. Everyone who sold their soul gets weekly sex dates with Ryan Reynolds

Ryan is a busy boy, I guess. I wonder how Blake Lively feels about this arrangement?

What did you think of this episode of American Horror Story: Apocalypse? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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American Horror Story: Apocalypse airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on FX.

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