Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Review: I Am Ashamed (Season 4 Episode 2)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 4 Episode 2, “I Am Ashamed,” takes on shame in a way I’ve never seen done before. The result is a hilarious, cathartic, and hopeful hour of television that has me shouting #SquadGoals at my TV.

This is the episode I have been waiting for! It actually goes beyond giving me what I’ve been wanting: Rebecca admitting to the full depth of behavior that she has done.

It goes further because Rebecca admits her wrongs and then, incredibly, isn’t shamed!

Instead, Rebecca is given space within a community who loves and accepts her, to face her past and then move forward towards restoration. Also, Patton Oswalt is there and Paula dresses-up as a vampire and Valencia is a witch.

Forget five, this episode is worth ten stars!

I have been critical of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3 for not calling Rebecca’s behavior what it is, abusive.

On “I Am Ashamed” the behavior is explicitly and accurately named. The skeletons are decidedly out of that closet.

“Stalking” is used at least twice to describe what Rebecca did. Also, “sexual terrorist,” “arsonist,” attempted cat-killer, “sex with her boss,” “sex with her ex-boyfriend’s dad,” and “slept with a married professor.”

Rebecca reads these things about herself in the comments section of the local paper, a surprising fountain of truth on the episode.

Paula: Honey, have you been online today?

Rebecca: That’s a terrifying sentence.

She wishes that these things weren’t true, but Rebecca admits it is not fake-news, it’s news-news.

I am satisfied!

But, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend doesn’t stop there. In fact, the show brilliantly accomplishes this at the very top of the episode and then is able to swiftly move on to the more important part of the episode, which is where the characters grapple with shame.

Both songs on the episode are excellent. “Time to Seize the Day” stands out because it so adeptly shows how anxiety can work to trap you in your house, even when you are an extroverted and social person.

The mental gymnastics Rebecca goes through in the song, while belting out in a cheery and theatrical tone, somehow perfectly captures the agonizing fervor of social anxiety.

The treatment of shame, anxiety, and their intersections on the episode is brilliant.

Where most shows would milk the drama of the comments section guilt-revelation, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend manages to find the drama in the unexpected spots.

It goes into the psychological aftermath of finally facing your fears (like Paula has been urging Rebecca to do since her Season 1 masterpiece, “Face Your Fears”) including the heavy anxiety that comes with shame.

Importantly, as “I Am Ashamed” transitions from Rebecca admitting her past to her facing the impacts of those choices in the present, her friends are there.

Heather: The rooftop killer isn’t garbage because she’s my friend. And yes, she flushes tampons, but that’s the worst thing I can say about her.

Shame tells us that we will be rejected if people know what we are really like. Shame tells us we are alone and we are not worthy of acceptance.

“I Am Ashamed” sings the opposite.

It tells us that we all feel shame, and that shame does not need to haunt us.

“I Am Ashamed,” tells us, via a sing-and-dance-along wonder The Cringe, that shame is scary but it’s not real.

What is real is relationships. What is real is community.

The message is gravely hopeful and is the most stunning take on shame I have ever seen on television.

“I Am Ashamed” is five stars in how it treats the ensemble characters as well.

Nathaniel is farthest from a community and we see him being most susceptible to shame. He isn’t able to embrace who he is and what he wants, because he is shamed by his father.

This is a really important message because Nathaniel is a character who is still unwilling to admit his problems.

He is not where Rebecca, Paula, Darryl, and the other The Cringe dancers are at. He’s not ready, but the show hints that when he is ready, there will be a possibility of love and acceptance for him.

Again, the episode delivers far more hope than shame.

Darryl’s storyline on “I Am Ashamed” is unexpectedly meaty and significant. He is in search of being the perfect mom.

Motherhood is rife with shaming. The episode explores this and stomps on preconceived notions by having Darryl’s ex-wife come into his life.

Darryl’s ex-wife comes over to pick up her daughter and she is dressed as a combination of different sexy things. The easy, expected thing would to be make her the butt of a joke. The expected thing would be to shame her.

But, no. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend doesn’t mom-shame.

Instead, Darryl’s ex-wife reassures Darryl, invites him to spend time with her, and doesn’t sacrifice any of her needs or goals to make Darryl feel better.

Wow. THAT is a great way to de-shame a co-parenting relationship.

White Josh is a great partner on the episode and I hope that is a hint of a future for Darryl and White Josh.

“I Am Ashamed” is a spectacular episode of television that can easily be used alongside any Brene Brown book.

It is truly scary how excellent Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is. I hope for more spooks like these over the next sixteen episodes.

Crazy Thoughts:

• I ship WhiJo and Darryl with my whole heart. They are the strongest ship on the show. WhiJo shows his dad vibes on “I Am Ashamed” and I feel SO MUCH HOPE. They can make it work!
• Hector is completely underrated, like most Charlottes.
• Where’s Beth?!
• Each and every one of the Halloween costumes are on point. Paula’s vampire is my favorite because Donna Lynn Champlin nails her lines.
• The integration of menstruation-related jokes and plot lines is something I didn’t know I needed to see on TV, but give me joy and inspiration every week. Please, keep including women’s bodies as active participants in their experiences!

What did you think of this episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend airs Fridays at 9/8c on The CW.

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