Zoo Review: Day of the Beast/Caraquet (Season 2 Episodes 1 & 2)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

The Zoo Crew is back in action as they work to stop the animal apocalypse, but not without a few key changes.

For starters, they’ve upgraded from the days of rickety planes and helicopters. The government gives them a flying mansion, essentially. Really, the government totally pimped their plane.

The bigger changes revolve around the animals themselves. Gone are the days of a simple cure being shot into a dog’s mouth with positive effects. The animal mutation is getting stronger. Mitch’s quick science cannot cure this mutation.

That’s not all. Jackson is changing too.

Let’s just hope he’s not going to get all gross and bumpy, like Kovacs.

There’s also a few new members who’ve joined the Zoo family. Dariela Marzan, a tough soldier still in disbelief that the animals have taken over, and Logan, a (handsome) young man who is on his way to Caraquet with Jamie.

While some things change, many others have stayed the same. Zoo‘s trademarks are still intact.

Mitch is still saying big science-y words that force me watch the show with a dictionary open. Jamie still makes me want to face-palm myself repeatedly. Chloe and Jackson are still making googly eyes at each other. And Abraham is still the muscle of the Crew.

Oh, and the animals are still trying to kill everyone, like, all the time.

The stakes are higher this season, that much is obvious. Right away we’re thrown into the crazy animal antics. Bees killing people, elephants crushing men, and vultures that make the clouds rain blood. Literally. They made bloody rain.

Don’t ask me to explain that, because I didn’t follow any of it. Again, science is hard.

The stakes are also higher for the Zoo Crew, internally.

Everyone is on board to rescue Jamie and the leopard, but when things don’t quite go as planned, Abraham insists that they leave Jamie behind, forcing Mitch to sit on the ground like a child. That’s not even a joke. He actually sat down on the ground like a child.

This event changes things for Mitch and Abe, and even by the episode’s end it isn’t totally resolved. Mitch is deeply in love with Jamie. The idea of losing her nearly caused him to drown in alcohol. The thought of losing her a second time? It can’t be easy for Mitch.

Maybe Abe will understand better after he hooks up with Dariela and finds that her life is in danger. Someone else got that vibe, right? Those two are probably going to do the nasty. I’m calling it now.

There’s another internal failure in the Zoo Crew. Chloe and Jackson are keeping Jackson’s mutation a secret. This is ridiculously stupid for a thousand reasons, but most importantly because we know, thanks to Kovacs, what is going to happen to Jackson if they don’t find a cure quickly.

Jamie’s having a rough time traveling on her own. She’s probably going to lose her toe, because that was some nasty frostbite. She’s lost her water to some bugs, and she can’t catch a break with a car that works. Her survival skills are surprisingly good though, so I’m hoping that she can bring herself, and Logan, safely to Caraquet.

And Kovacs? Dariela isn’t just sitting back and letting him stay alive for research. She’s pissed. He killed a lot of people, her troop, and more importantly, Hermione’s daddy. She takes matters into her own hands and decides to shoot him in the head.

Will he survive, living another day that may help cure Jackson? Or will he die, squashing any hope of figuring out what’s about to happen to the handsome zoologist? We’ll have to wait until next week to find out.

I have to admit that this opener was quite exciting. While I still don’t totally believe that there’s any way that the Crew would have escaped that stampede, if there’s anything I’ve learned about this show it’s that all belief must be suspended.

A lot of things don’t make sense, and I’ll get into that more in a bit, but regardless of those things, the show is just plain fun. I enjoy being an observer and allowing the writers to take me on this wacky journey.

In the end, all I want is to be entertained, and Zoo doesn’t disappoint me.

SERIOUSLY?! Moments:

• So, there’s thousands of animals about to stampede the car, and none of them spread out? They all stay in that one formation, so it’s THAT easy for Jackson to put up a fire barricade, except for that ONE rhino? Come on.
• How are there THAT many bees flying around Chloe and she’s not getting stung? Impossible.
• Going back to those bees, they sting the mother TO DEATH, and the baby gets zero bee stings? Also, the mother is all, “Save my baby!” and then the SECOND the baby is in Chloe’s arms, she’s just dead?
• Also, for the first ten minutes of the show, I thought this was going to be the backstory of how the Zoo Crew ended up with a baby.
• Jamie’s a tiny, sprightly young lady, absolutely. You couldn’t pay me enough to believe that Jamie can outrun a pack of wolves, a bear, AND a buffalo. Or a yak. I don’t know what that animal was. Where’s Jackson when you need him?
• Bloody rain caused by vultures deficating, I think. Can we go back to that for a second? It’s gross.
• Did anyone else catch Jamie’s little ode to SNL’s Mary Catherine Gallagher? Stick your fingers in your armpits. It’s survival, guys.

What did you think of the premiere of Zoo? Will Kovacs survive? Will Jackson come clean? Will Jamie and Logan make it Caraquet? Sound off in the comments below!

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Zoo airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on CBS.