Orange Is the New Black: The 7 Best Moments from the Season 4 Premiere
We finally have a new season of Orange is the New Black! Here are a few of the best moments from the Season 4 premiere!
1. Lolly Saves Alex
How awesome is the first scene? Lolly may be a bit of a conspiracy nut, but when she needs to act, she acts. Then she delivers the best first line to a season premiere ever.
LOLLY: Everyone is going to the lake on account of that big ol’ hole in the fence. I thought you’d want to come.
2. Piper is Totally Oblivious
In Season 3, there was a fair amount of face-palming where Piper was concerned. After two years of her saying she wasn’t going to waste her life in prison, we are starting to see her slide into a role similar to what Alex used to be.
In the Season 4 premiere, Piper is riding the power trip she got from sending her Australian paramour to the wolves. When two inmates run away from her, she thinks its because word got around.
Fortunately, Chang schools her in the fact that no one knows or cares that she’s “gangsta with an a” and then proceeds to go take a long hot shower while there are no lines.
3. Luschek’s Chronic Laziness
There is one reason that we love Luschek, and it’s his chronic laziness. Does anyone else remember when he saw the ladies fleeing the prison through the hole? All he said was: “Nope!” and went back inside. He doesn’t want to actually work. He just likes to collect his paycheck.
In fact, his one defining character trait is probably that he never actually works, he just collects a paycheck and has some really inappropriate conversations with inmates.
In this episode, he leaves Caputo a dose of methane in his cookies, and makes printing out a roster take as long as possible.
His chronic laziness probably saves Caputo’s butt when he reveals that he is the only one who had eyes on Judy King in this whole episode.
4. The New Guards on the Block
There is no better way to describe the guards this episode than as kids who are in awe of bigger kids with better toys.
When they see the inmates running, they think that maybe the inmates decided to riot and they can’t wait to wear the riot gear.
Not only is the scene where they put on their riot gear full of laughs, but when the guards from the maximum security facility roll up, their jaws drop.
Amateur hour is over! Time to get serious!
5. Suzanne’s New Girlfriend Is a Little…Crazy
Maureen is Suzanne’s biggest fan. She loved the ‘Time Hump Chronicles’ that Suzanne conceived and wrote about last season.
However, Maureen runs off into the woods wanting a fairytale that can’t be. Suzanne sees Maureen’s delusions for what they are, and insists they go back. When Maureen won’t Suzanne runs off into the wood.
In an ironic twist, Suzanne shows up back at the prison without Maureen begging to be let back in. By now, they’ve fixed the fence and they need to use wire cutters to let her back in.
Where was this dedication before the mass exodus?
6. Lorna’s Wedded Bliss
After her jailhouse wedding, Lorna is really happy about being a married woman. She is sure that the day trumps everyone else’s who can’t stop talking about the lake.
There’s a lot of graphic detail about the consummation of their marriage, which if you remember, occurred in the visitation room!
Lorna’s joy is overshadowed by everyone talking about their adventures at the lake. That is, until a guard takes her paper veil away because it’s against regulation.
Lorna’s smile evaporates instantly, and because she’s so adorable, if not a little clueless, we just want to hug her.
7. Frieda’s Got a Plan
There is something so ironic about this scene. Frieda discovers the body of Kubra’s hit man in the greenhouse and asks Alex and Lolly what the plan is.
The plan is to bury him under the floorboards but Frieda has other ideas.
FRIEDA: Why would I waste my time digging one six-foot hole when I could dig six one-foot holes? That’s just murder math.”
Frieda’s plan not only includes dismemberment but also burying him the garden. A scene that is gruesome and bloody and then bright and cheerful.
Suddenly, I am kind of worried about a red sunflower or a speckled potato giving away this plot.
What did you think of this episode of Orange Is the New Black? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Orange is the New Black Season 4 is currently available for streaming on Netflix.
Lauren Busser
Lauren Busser is an Associate Editor at Tell-Tale TV. She is a writer of fiction and nonfiction whose work has appeared in Bitch Media, Popshot Quarterly, Brain Mill Press Voices, and The Hartford Courant.