Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 1 Review: The Red Woman | Tell-Tale TV

Game of Thrones: 90 Quickfire Thoughts on the Season 6 Premiere

Lissete Lanuza Sáenz Game of Thrones, Reviews

Hello, and welcome to the land of no-one really knows what’s coming. It’s a pleasure to see you here.

Today, on a rather light episode, plot-wise, we’re going to try something different.

Here, for your enjoyment, are my 90 quick-fire thoughts about the Game of Thrones premiere, “The Red Woman.”

  1. I might have jumped with excitement at the credits.
  2. Of course we have to start at the Wall. Trample with my heart to begin the season.
  3. They just left the body there? Rat bastards.
  4. Don’t cry, Ghost! He’s not really dead. I promise.
  5. Well, I mean, he is, but he’s not staying dead.
  6. Had to be Davos. Poor Davos.
  7. Poor Jon too. Poor Ghost. Poor Starks. Poor Westeros.
  8. Of course Thorne did this! Who else?
  9. “I saw him in the flame, fighting at Winterfell”
  10. Then revive him, woman! We know you can.
  11. Thorne’s speech makes me hate him even more.
  12. I didn’t think that was possible.
  13. He’s basically saying, I’m a loyal man, but I disagreed with my Commander, so I killed him.
  14. Should we get him a dictionary?
  15. I don’t think he knows what loyal means.
  16. Olly needs to die.
  17. Thorne as well, of course.
  18. I want the wildlings to have the pleasure.
  19. Because the wildlings are coming.
  20. I don’t care for Ramsay mourning over this girl whose name I can’t remember.
  21. I don’t care about Ramsay.
  22. Unless he’s dead.
  23. Can someone off him? I don’t even care who.
  24. Though I’d prefer it if it were Sansa.
  25. I apparently want a lot of people to die. This is what Game of Thrones does to me.
  26. Feed her to the hounds, he said. Feed her to the hounds. That’s his idea of love.
  27. *imagines scenes of Ramsay being fed to the hounds*
  28. I hate Daddy Bolton almost as much as I hate little Bolton, now that I think about it.
  29. So glad Sansa and Theon escaped.
  30. I still hate you, Theon.
  31. This is depressing. Can Brienne find them? She must be around somewhere.
  32. It’s time for her to finally be in the right place at the right time.
  33. No, Theon, I won’t like you, no matter what you do.
  34. It’s time for you be strong, Sansa. Stronger than you ever thought you could be.
  35. “Go North. Jon is Lord Commander at Castle Black”
  36. Rip my heart out and stomp on it, won’t you Game of Thrones?
  37. Am I ever getting a Stark reunion?
  38. Ever?
  39. Ugh, Ramsay’s men are almost as bad as him.
  40. BRIENNE!
  41. I’m tearing up, I’m not gonna lie.
  42. Something good, finally.
  43. Brienne is such a badass. I have no actual words. Only heart eyes.
  44. I’m gonna write her a love letter.
  45. Fine, Theon, I don’t hate you as much.
  46. Why you looking at Theon, Sansa? Make your own decisions.
  47. Brienne is a good one.
  48. I love Brienne.
  49. Pod, you cute.
  50. Brienne can tell Sansa that Arya is still alive. I don’t know why that makes me emotional.
  51. You can say what you want about Cersei, but she loves her children.
  52. And now two are gone.
  53. Jamie looks very handsome.
  54. Which is probably an inappropriate thought to have at this point and time, but so be it.
  55. I hate the person that he is when he’s with Cersei, though.
  56. We need to get him far away from her, and preferably to Brienne, who brings out the best in him.
  57. Oh, the prophecy. Make it come true.
  58. If so, Tommen’s gone.
  59. And Cersei’s going to die soon.
  60. But Tommen first.
  61. Here we go again with the “Confess” thing.
  62. What exactly are they accusing Margery of again?
  63. Oh, Dorne. You so boring.
  64. I don’t even get you, Ellaria, you complain about slain Martell’s while you slay more Martell’s.
  65. What is even the point of this Dorne storyline? Where is this going?
  66. Not that I care.
  67. Tyrion and Varys are boring me. I didn’t think that could happen.
  68. So, things are looking bad for Daenerys. It was bound to happen.
  69. The Daenerys Fan Club bores me as well.
  70. People really talk smack when they think someone else can’t understand them.
  71. And in the end, the dothraki are much more civilized than I expected them to be.
  72. Which really isn’t saying that much.
  73. So, when is Drogon coming?
  74. Can we fast-forward through Arya’s training as we did with Bran’s?
  75. I’m bored. Can we get on with the resurrection?
  76. Oh, joy. Back to the wall.
  77. How naïve does Thorne think these men are?
  78. At least Davos is not as stupid/noble as I thought.
  79. “There’s always the red woman”
  80. Now you’re thinking Davos!
  81. Melisandre is having a crisis of faith.
  82. And boy, is she old.
  83. We expected this, though.
  84. And that’s it?
  85. Is this the end?
  86. Are you for real, Game of Thrones?
  87. I expected more.
  88. I want more.
  89. We wait one more week, I guess.
  90. And then Jon, right? Right?
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Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.

Lawyer. Writer. Columnist. Geek. Falls in madly in love with fictional characters. Hates the color yellow, misogyny, and people who are late. Can always be found with a book. Watches an absurd amount of TV every week, often, while eating coffee ice cream. She has no regrets. You can check out her blog here: Absurday. Lissete is a senior writer for Tell-Tale TV. Follow @lizziethat