Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Recap: Kimmy Gets a Job! (Season 1 Episode 2)

This second episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, “Kimmy Gets a Job!” dives right back in after the first, with Kimmy determined to get her job back and en-route to her ex-employer’s house, while giving herself a pep-talk along the way.

The Old-Fashioned Wendy’s Hamburger Girl, I mean Kimmy, arrives back and begs for her job. She’s really good at things like holding her breath for a really long time, and convinces Jacqueline to give her another chance.

Her challenge: Plan Buckly’s Birthday Party

Running into Titus again in Times Square (because that’s where New Yorkers shop) she gives him another mini-pep talk, which sends him in the direction of the costume rental return and sends Kimmy back to start planning the party.

A few minutes later, we meet Jacqueline’s step-daughter, Xanthippe, running down the stairs to get Kimmy’s help. It seems her friend has a case of alcohol poisoning, and no one can find out as her friend’s dad is running for congress.

It’s a nice touch having the daughter be the same age as Kimmy when she was kidnapped, and again, the names on this show are amazing. Kimmy saves the day with her knowledge of how to make people throw up (she’s had botulism like a lot from spoiled canned goods). However, the daughter ends up being a spoiled brat, and sends Kimmy away after her help.

When Jacqueline arrives back from the gyno-dermatologist, Kimmy prompts her to punish Xanthippe. It’s made quite clear that the daughter is both too cool and very scary, and that Jacqueline has no intention of punishing her, but tells Kimmy she can try if she would like. The focus of the conversation suddenly shifts to Kimmy’s decorations. Jacqueline makes it clear that this party is not good enough for her husband.

Crinkle Cut fries? Mexican candy animals? Kimmy has to do better than that.

As Kimmy is planning the party, Titus is leading a revolt when the costume store owner will not return his deposit, under the veil of the costume being damaged. After running into some fellow costumed entertainers on the Subway (HORATIO!), he realizes that the shop is running a scam, and starts to rally the troops,

Back at the house, Xanthippe, or as Kimmy calls her, Xanadu, tries to leave her half-brother’s birthday before her full-father arrives, and Kimmy attempts to ground her, to no avail.  On top of that, Buckley’s father is late, and he isn’t allowed to open any presents until he arrives.

Kimmy passes along a trick to Buckley to curb his frustration: A person can stand just about anything for 10 seconds. Just like when she used to turn the mystery crank in the bunker — she could make it through 10 seconds at a time. 1, 2, 3, 4…..

Kimmy soon realizes that the party is not actually about Buckley, when Jacqueline begins to shift the party emphasis to her husband. It also begins to come to light that the husband will not be making home in time for the party, and ends up flying not home from London, but instead to Japan. Also, the birthday party is a bust, because Buckley doesn’t actually like superheroes…he likes super villains. The kid is evil.

Let’s recap: Wife having a breakdown. Daughter drinking and sexing. Little Boy is the devil.  Husband MIA.

“Rich New Yorkers are the worst.”

Kimmy arrives home defeated, while Titus is elated for finally getting his deposit back…a battle won using his knowledge of copyright laws from his days of a one-man version of Lion King (I won’t re-enact that scene with my cat. I promise… maybe…)

While Kimmy is venting to Titus, she has an idea, and tells Titus to go get his robot suit back, and the episode ties itself neatly back up using really the most ridiculous plot line to a Babysitter’s Club book. Kimmy catches Xanthippe in her lies (The books are recommended for ages 12 and up! AND UP!), Buckley has a awesome birthday playing super-villain and beating Titus, dressed as “Iron Man” with various blunt objects, and Jacqueline confesses that her marriage is falling apart.

Kimmy comforts her, and teaches her to take each moment 10 seconds at a time, and of course, spoons her, because Jacqueline needs human contact. Cue the counting to ten….

Favorite Quotes:

Kimmy: “Day two in New York City… you already a room with a door, a new pair of shoes and a black friend! Are you kidding me? No, I am not!”

Jacqueline: “I don’t like giving second chances, but I appreciate your lack of pride.”

Jacqueline: “I went to the gyno-dermatologist. I need to lie down with my feet and heart above my vagina.”

Kimmy: “By the power vested in me, as an adult who is a grown-up, you are grounded.”

Jacqueline: “When my husband gets home, I want it quite clear he is at his son’s birthday party, not the reception for an Appalachian incest wedding.”

Jacqueline: “How do I look?”
Kimmy: “Like a million bucks!”

Jacqueline: “I know you didn’t mean that to be hateful, but…”

Kimmy: “How are you liking my ‘Babysitters Club Mystery,’ Sister Gretchen?”
Gretchen: “I don’t know. Surfing. Swimsuits. A woman reading a book.”

Jacqueline: “I’ve had the most amazing idea!”
Kimmy: “A scrunchie that is also a wallet?”

Kimmy: “I need you to get your robot suit back.”
Titus: “But I already did something today!”

Kimmy: “Who among us is a perfect foot slut?”

Jacqueline: “He’s been in Japan a lot lately. You can get a mistress in a vending machine there!”

Titus: “Aw damn it! What white bitch got him golf clubs?!”

 

What did you think of “Kimmy Gets a Job”? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt is available for streaming on Netflix.