Eternally Yours Season 1 Episode 2 Review: A Pain in the Neck

Everything changes for Max on Eternally Yours Season 1 Episode 2, “Baby Vampire.” Alas, the same can not be said for the show itself.

When the choice is made to leave the least reliable vampire in charge of the coven’s newest member, a deeply in-denial Max is let loose on his unsuspecting coworkers.

Unfortunately, for all the vampire lore this episode bestows upon us, it lacks the witty, fast-paced sparring we’ve come to expect from the show’s creators.

Just as Max is a fledgling, Eternally Yours is also a baby learning to take its first steps. And unfortunately, those steps are incredibly wobbly.

The pilot, as an introduction to the world, was a celebration of that newness.

Episode 1’s constant need to give context to the supernatural world these vampires live in is justifiable because it’s a flaw most premieres struggle with. It helped that the vampire-centric jokes felt fresh and shiny in their innocence. 

Now the second outing is giving us more of the same, and the novelty has worn off.

There’s no development happening beyond what we witnessed in the first outing. The show is spending so much of its time trying to race through valuable setup and supernatural lore that it’s forgetting to be a comedy first and foremost.

Everything is still being explained in heavy detail to the audience rather than shown. The summary-heavy plot is an information overload that takes us out of the scene completely at times.

The information is often sandwiched between jokes that don’t end up landing because the setup is so dense.

Not to mention we know so little about the characters beyond Liz and Charles. They are reduced to vampire tour guides dishing out new tidbits about their shared anatomy rather than personal quirks.

When every joke is a surface-level observation about vampires, it’s less likely to connect than if it’s a personal dig at someone.

That’s what makes Ghosts such a killer comedy; it’s not afraid to get personal and go for the jugular with its jokes. It’s a comedy first and a paranormal show second.

Which is why Charles’s attempt to establish a male friendship with his coworker works so well.

The comedy surrounding Charles, and a very reluctant Eric (played by The Pitt’s delightful Ken Kirby), is less about Charles being a vampire and more about him being an insecure man who cannot make a friend outside his marriage.

The guy is a mess when he’s not at his wife’s side, and that is a hilarious train wreck to watch.

So, here’s hoping this is the beginning of a different thirst for Charles as he chases down a friendship with Eric, who definitely isn’t looking to be in this man’s life.

If we can’t have star-crossed lovers with Max and Emma, star-crossed friends will have to do.

Unfortunately, the choice to turn Max into a vampire may have hurt the show more than anticipated.

Turning Max at the end of the pilot forces future episodes to spend even more time explaining the vampire world to us. Max can’t organically and comedically discover this information throughout the season because he needs to know how to function as a vampire right now.

It feels like we skipped over a whole chapter of potential. Now we’re living in a more complicated version of the story without the development to justify investing time in it.

The episode often makes us feel resentful on Max’s behalf rather than eager to laugh at his expense. For that, Episode 2 is a bit of a downer through Max’s eyes.

It doesn’t all suck, though. There are several highlights outside of Charles and Eric’s budding bromance to enjoy.

Despite all the vampire info being thrown our way, the reveal that the vamps can’t enter any building without being invited is hilarious to watch in execution. Witnessing them all loiter awkwardly outside Max’s office is a laughable bit.

Jesse being super into his wife Phyllis is a lovely subplot. This horndog is obsessed with how fine his wife is aging, and learning that her TJ Max fits turn him on is so adorable.

They might be the best couple of the show if it weren’t for the whole memory wipe issue.

Now, if it’s revealed that Jesse’s constant need to memory wipe Phyllis stems from his own insecurities, we could be persuaded to understand. Because his fear of losing Phyllis when she learns what he is would be devastating to a man who is down this bad for his wife.

In the meantime, we have to hope Eternally Yours finds its stride soon, or Phyllis won’t be the only one needing a memory wipe.

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Eternally Yours airs Thursdays at 8:30/9:30c on CBS.

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