The Conners Season 5 Episode 19 Review: Text Thread and the Marital Bed

Becky and Darlene experience insecurities like never before on The Conners Season 5 Episode 19, “Text Thread and the Marital Bed.”

It’s not often that the show allows both sisters to be vulnerable at the same time. Especially not for issues that dig so much deeper than surface level.

Watching them dance around each other’s issues while handling their own is a bit of writing fancy work we love to see from time to time.

Darlene Wants to Be Desired

Plain and simple, Darlene is put off by Jackie’s comments that she and Neville still engage in sex regularly, almost a year into their marriage. While Darlene doesn’t come out and say it, it’s clear to see the gears in her head go into hyperdrive once she realizes that someone older than her is still getting to have fun.

To be fair, Darlene and Ben have been through quite a bit of stress within the last six months alone. However, the lack of affection from her husband is extremely upsetting to Darlene.

At first, she thinks it’s simply a case of they haven’t made enough time for themselves, which is understandable. Watching her heartbreak in real time as Ben lies to her face tugs at our heartstrings. 

With all they’ve endured in their relationship — even before getting married, Darlene deserves to feel like she is Ben’s top priority. When she goes as far as dressing up for him and trying to appear sexy the hilarity tries to become the focus, but it only further spotlights her disappointment and anguish.

Something Darlene and Ben have always struggled with is communication. This latest marital issue is no different, as witnessed when Ben would rather lie to Darlene than admit his own insecurities.

Male Insecurity Needs to Be Acknowledged

Oftentimes, TV focuses on insecurities in women instead of men because there is societal pressure for the man to always have it figured out. What’s great about The Conners is that it doesn’t shy away from showing all the characters in all their complexities.

We’ve witnessed Ben struggling to make sense of his emotions when his father dies. We’ve seen DJ struggle to reconcile that he couldn’t be with his daughter as much as he wants. 

Heck, we’ve even seen Dan struggle to come to terms with his aging body. All this to say, the men are showcased equal to the women on this show which makes it that much more special.

During “Text Thread and the Marital Bed,” Ben finally reveals to Darlene that he doesn’t feel sexy so he doesn’t want to push himself on Darlene. That insecurity is something that doesn’t come easy for anyone to admit, let alone a man who is seen as the head of the house — big, strong, and capable.

Ben allowing himself to be vulnerable with Darlene is going to push them forward in their marriage beyond this initial situation. The insecurity between them isn’t going to go away overnight, but at least now they are talking about it and working past it.

Becky – Good Mom or Bad Mom?

Since Dan started seeing Louise there has been this undercurrent between her and the kids. They all love her and how happy she makes their dad, but it’s clear that Darlene and Becky don’t fully accept her.

This feeling hasn’t had an opportunity to come to the surface, until now, which explains why Becky, Darlene, and even Harris are immediately on the defensive when Louise sends a text in the wrong thread. 

While mistakes do happen, something like this — even without it being something that Becky is super insecure about — can make the sender appear two-faced or deceptive in some way.

When you pair that with the thin wall Darlene and Becky have up between them and their “step-mom” it spells discord. Becky’s reaction is a bit overly dramatic, but luckily the only family member not letting her have her moment is Dan.

Becky needs the space to work through how Louise’s dig at her parenting makes her feel before she can sit down and have a civil conversation with her family. 

Peace, for now.

While The Conners does a great job of giving Becky the authority to feel her emotions and have her say, it does fail to make the situation have a deeper impact.

If the family had simply come to a consensus regarding the Easter holiday while still allowing Becky time to be upset with Louise it would’ve been more realistic. Of course, sitcoms tend to wrap everything up within the confines of a single episode.

However, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have that conflict seep into further episodes. After all, Louise insulted Becky’s parenting habits. That’s not something an apology and a well-planned Easter celebration can make up for.

Hopefully, in the weeks to come Becky will still have a bit of unease toward Louise, but chances are this will simply be brushed over and soon forgotten. Becky deserves the opportunity to stay mad about a situation as personal as her parenting, which she tries very hard to be perfect at.

What did you think of this episode of The Conners? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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The Conners airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on ABC.

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