20 Television Characters and their Hogwarts Houses

It happens to the best of us — at home, the grocery store, the gym, even lying in bed trying to fall asleep. We just can’t stop sorting people we love into their rightful Hogwarts houses.

In this golden age of television, it sometimes feels like we spend more time with our fictional friends than the actual humans in our lives. We can have a long, drawn out, adult discussion about that later, but for now, let’s embrace it and play Sorting Hat to some of our all-time favorite television characters:

Gryffindor: Brave, Courage, Loyal, Nerve, Daring, Reckless

Buffy Summers (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Her job description is the title of the show, but she doesn’t slay your glittery Twilight vampires — she’s all about the dark, lethal kind. Life as a teenager is hard enough, and to almost blindly accept her fate is both brave and daring. She is also fiercely loyal to her squad yet can be a bit reckless at times.

Buffy is probably the #1 recruit on the Quidditch pitch, let’s be real.

Clarke Griffin (The 100)

Clarke acts before she thinks but, as we say in the South, bless her heart because she tries. She is loyal to a fault in that she gravitates towards decisions that saves those closest to her even if they are not the best options overall.

Her heart is in the right place, though, and her willingness to survive against all odds makes her a slam dunk for the Sorting Hat.

June Osborne (The Handmaid’s Tale)

June opts against escaping the horrors of Gilead to save her oldest daughter after parting with her youngest to give her a chance of a good life. Every crime in Gilead comes with the punishment of either losing an appendage or death, so June’s every defiant move is laced with bravery because she has everything to lose.

Yes, her plan at the end of The Handmaid’s Tale Season 3 is poetically bold, but also so reckless that even Harry himself facepalms in the Gryffindor Common Room and says, “oh, girl.”

Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill)

The younger Scott brother lands in Gryffindor thanks to the courage he displays from the pilot to the series finale.

Emancipating himself from his father as a teenager, throwing himself off of the bridge to save Rachel and Hot Uncle Cooper, his humility as he struggles to support a pregnant Haley, and his will to stay alive during his kidnapping show that he is more than a spoiled rich kid.

Pepper in some recklessness (kidnapping Lucas in the pilot, the brush with steroids, and the Dante situation), and you’ve got a textbook wearer of the red-and-gold.

Zack Morris (Saved by the Bell)

Zack Morris is the reverse of fine wine because as you get older and wiser, you see that he is, indeed, trash.

He has all of the traits of a Slytherin thanks to his wild schemes, but what seals his fate into Gryffindor is his arrogance. Hey, no witch or wizard is perfect.

Hufflepuff: Hard work, patience, justice, loyalty, fair play

DJ Tanner-Fuller (Fuller House)

The eldest Tanner sibling works hard to instill the same values in her boys as her father instilled in her.

She loves her work as a veterinarian and would do anything for her she-wolf pack. As the oldest of three and Mom to three more, she’s an expert in fair play. Her patience levels are unknown, but presumably very high since Kimmy Gibbler is still in her life after all of these years.

Donna Moss (The West Wing)

Donna is what the kids these days would call Josh’s ride-or-die.

Eternally grateful for the opportunity to work in the White House, she makes sure to stay one step ahead of Josh so that he can be his best at all times. Plus, we’ll never forget when she tells Josh that “if [he] were in an accident, [she] wouldn’t stop for red lights.”

John Diggle (Arrow)

Diggle’s moral compass is strong, and he is fiercely loyal and protective of Oliver, Felicity, and those he loves. Justice is the driving principle behind the entire show, and it takes a lot of hard work to keep Star City safe.

Oliver’s right hand is probably a prefect alongside DJ Tanner-Fuller, but he’s the cool one.

Kevin Atwater (Chicago P.D.)

Kevin is a textbook Hufflepuff thanks to his strong sense of justice and fair play.

Despite Sergeant Voight’s sometimes questionable actions, Kevin remains loyal to his boss and his unit without losing himself. He also holds quite a bit of patience in dealing with BFF Adam Ruzek, who can be a (rather adorable) handful at times.

Patrick Brewer (Schitt’s Creek)

Patrick is unfailingly kind, and always finds the good in people. His fiancé David is seen as a spoiled rich kid, but Patrick knows that is not the case and loves him unconditionally. That’s both loyalty AND love.

He and David are definitely the wizarding-school sweethearts of the Hufflepuff Common Room.

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