Better Things Review: The Unknown (Season 3 Episode 9)
On Better Things Season 3 Episode 9, “The Unknown,” Sam struggles with her attraction to Mer.
Sam is that elusive female who is both a guy’s girl and a girl’s girl. Just because she’s into combat boots and T-shirts doesn’t mean she isn’t feminine, but Sam doesn’t exude girliness.
She is right in the thick of it when it comes to problems facing women in their ’40s and ’50s which has been particularly apparent this season. One being the very brutal truth that women over a certain age are considered less desirable.
There’s a flirtation between Sam and Durham (Griffin Dunne) who is the son of her father’s best friend. Sam’s attraction is nullified with the arrival of Durham’s much, much younger girlfriend. I
t’s such a cliché, Sam knows it, and Durham knows it. He tries to justify if by acting as if he’s an innocent bystander in his own life. “This isn’t a demographic I go casting my net for.”
Better Things is Adlon’s platform to vocalize what many of her contemporaries may be feeling when it comes to motherhood, work, friendships, dating, and a myriad of other issues. The stereotype of men pushing aside women their own age because of some biological impulse to try to delay or defeat their own mortality is tired, but it’s true.
Sam doesn’t buy his excuses, and as an unintentional champion of middle-aged women, she states the obvious. There are tons of great, funny, smart, attractive, available women who are more age appropriate, but Durham chooses to overlook them. He’s not a victim, and it’s not happenstance.
But after lecturing Durham about his blind spot when it comes to his romantic life, Sam finds herself confronted for a similar offense.
Sam’s attraction to Mer (Marsha Thomason) is palpable, but when the opportunity arises to act on it, Sam backpedals. Hey, she didn’t cast this net. Here’s a good-looking, available woman with whom Sam has a great chemistry, but Sam’s unable to accept her feelings for a woman that extends beyond the boundaries of friendship.
Sam has trouble with intimacy, and for someone who is so vocal about almost everything else, she struggles sharing her own feelings. Sam is all about feminism and female empowerment, but she does balk at what she views as a shared weaknesses of her gender: their almost pathological need to express their emotions.
Mer can’t make it any easier to Sam to act, but when there’s any sign of a real romantic connection with someone, she’s a runner. Sure, diving into a lesbian relationship at age 50 is daunting, but Sam is so fearless in other aspects of her life, this inability to be open and honest about her feelings reveals Sam’s vulnerability.
Sam’s being called out multiple times during season 3 for her inability to communicate about the parts of her life that make her uncomfortable. Like Sam does with Durham, Mer doesn’t let Sam off the hook. Sam knows what she’s been doing, and her explanation is no less infuriating.
There does come a moment when it seems Sam might take the plunge, but she chooses a route that is easy and far less likely to bring her happiness. The unknown may be a scary place, but the familiar can be even worse.
What did you think of this episode of Better Things? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Better Things airs Thursdays at 10/9c on FX..
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.