Vanderpump Rules Recap: I Don’t Like the Sound of Your Voice (Season 7 Episode 16)
On Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 16, “I Don’t Like the Sound of Your Voice,” Katie feels neglected by her husband at TomTom’s grand opening. Lala has to answer for her actions. The group heads to Mexico.
TomTom’s had more openings than a box of envelopes, but the official grand opening finally arrives. Both Toms recognize this as a watershed moment in their lives. After failing to add anything more significant to their resumes than “reality TV stars,” they are officially “business owners.”
You have got to love Ariana for embracing Tom Sandoval’s complete self-absorption. After seeing him decked out in his white suit and assorted motorcycle gear (helmet, goggles, gloves),” she describes him as “James Bond in a Wes Anderson movie.”
Screw, Stassi. Ariana is the one who should be writing a book. Her description of her boyfriend is on point.
Tom Sandoval’s top priority is surprising his work wife-bestie-man crush-partner with the motorcycle and sidecar he purchased specifically for their big arrival. Sandoval dropped a whopping 18 grand for the pleasure.
Sandoval arrives in his chariot to pick up his lady, and Schwartz is sufficiently shocked. But it’s not just that he gets to cram himself into a sidecar like a circus clown or a Shriner that excites Schwartz. Gloves? Schwartz “loves” gloves. Goggles? Schwartz “loves” goggles.
Sandoval thinks of every possible detail except for one — gasoline. The duo are forced to push the bike to the nearest gas station, delaying their arrival by a few minutes. Hey, some grand romantic gestures hit a snag or two, but it’s the thought that counts.
LVP is charmed by the Toms’ grand entrance. She didn’t put their name on a bar because they can call an Uber. Only two idiots, and some serious pull with Bravo can buy this kind of publicity.
The entire gang (minus James) is in attendance, including Kristen Doute. All she has to do to secure an invite is kiss the queen’s (Lisa Vanderpump) ring (show up at SUR and beg).
Not much drama on the big night. Brittany, newly diagnosed with an ulcer, still indulges in a few tequila shots. Jax fusses over his future baby mama, wanting his breeding stock to remain in good shape reproductively.
One unexpected surprise is the revelation that Katie’s feeling a bit neglected by her husband. Schwartzy’s been so busy with the bar, he hasn’t had as much time for his Bubba. Katie tries repeatedly to get his attention throughout the night, but Schwartz is too busy schmoozing to dote on his beloved.
More notably, Lala has to answer to Lisa for her bad behavior at Billie’s brunch. Before Lala can take her t**s out in front of everyone in Mexico, she has to save her “job.” Lala needs a hostess job at SUR like she needs more latex in her wardrobe.
Lisa’s heard James’ version, and Lala’s is quite different. The brunette beauty and B-movie star downplays her tantrum, making the whole ugly scene sound like an undetectable fart in church. We all know the truth, and once LVP sees the episode, so will she.
Getting such different accounts of the same event prompts Lisa to call upon a witness to testify, Scheana. Scheana doesn’t want to incur Lala’s wrath, but she also doesn’t want to lie to her boss. Scheana admits that Lala did out act in full view of the customers.
LVP could care less about the drama, but she would prefer it be taken outside. You don’t want to give patrons indigestion when they’re paying 20 bucks for crispy chicken.
That’s what Lisa is supposed to say as an experienced restaurateur, but after years of memorable meltdowns on two Bravo shows, Lisa knows nasty public displays generate ratings (the “doggy-gate” snooze in Beverly Hills proves that).
Scheana also vindicates James. Lisa’s genuinely surprised to learn James’ account of his own behavior is entirely accurate.
With TomTom up and running, it’s time for the gang to head south of the border. There’s some foreshadowing that this trip is going to be as big a s**t show as every other getaway. Stassi’s behind on her book and has to work while in Mexico.
Stassi’s also convinced nothing could happen on the trip that will shake her relationship with Beau. Jax is complaining non-stop about bridezilla Brittany’s runaway spending habits.
Kristen is traveling solo and rumblings of her obnoxious ways run through the group. Sandoval only has room for two red belts, and Katie is still feeling neglected. Oh, and Lala has to fly … commercial.
By the time the group makes it to Mexico, Schwartz has spent the entire flight being rage texted by Katie after he takes a free upgrade. Granted, most wives would be salty if their husbands didn’t switch seats, but Schwartz’s behavior has Katie questioning the sanctity of their entire marriage.
Katie sulks, she wines, she channels her former self, aka “Tequila Katie.” But in the biggest possible plot twist ever, Schwartz doesn’t bend, fold, or break. Can these two lovebirds put back together the shattered pieces of their relationship and reignite passion in paradise?
Doubtfully.
What did you think of this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9/8c on Bravo.
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.