Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Review: Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends! (Season 3 Episode 11)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3 Episode 11, “Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!,” is the best episode of Season 3.

Even stronger than the poignant and emotional Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3 Episode 6, “Josh is Irrelevant,” which delivers Rebecca her borderline personality disorder diagnosis, “Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!” tenderly and honestly portrays major breakthroughs for each of the show’s female leads.

The key factor on “Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!” that elevates it beyond the other excellent episodes is the dose of joy it injects into heartbreaking moments.

Paula’s imposter-syndrome confession to Sunil does two important things: refocuses her as an ambitious career-driven woman and reveals the root of her insecurities about never being smart enough.

She has her father’s voice in her head putting her down, and it has taken worlds of strength, tenacity, and ironic coffee mugs to push beyond those lies.

Paula, who has been attacked for being a negligent mom more than she has ever been praised for being a brilliant paralegal and attorney, is so many of us professional women.

Paula’s journey on “Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!” reminds us that the “Office Bitch” is often a person who is acting from fear and past hurts. 

Sunil and Paula’s confrontation ends with laughter over a shared musical theater reference and this solidifies a core Crazy Ex-Girlfriend message — there is always room for levity and joy, even amid the toughest stuff.

The mid-episode eight-month time jump, narrated by the almost God-like Josh Chan to the almost angel-like White Josh, is surprising. The most surprising thing about it might be how well it works!

The time jump highlights Heather’s ever-developing character and illustrates a reality of life with BPD.

It is impossible to select a favorite moment from Heather’s storyline on “Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!” Vella Lovell uses each and every second on screen to deepen the hilarious and heartfelt person that Heather is.

The time jump lets us see how Heather has succeeded in maintaining a relationship with Hector, grow a baby in her belly, and grow Home Base beyond expectation.

But Heather is done and wants to quit with every fiber of her baby-baking body. We get to see her at that very point, which advances her character far more than without the time jump.

Heather’s inaugural ugly cry may be the best thing I have ever seen. I am GIDDY with excitement for her labor scenes.

We get to see how Heather has matured into a person who shares her struggles with a trusted partner and overcomes her angst, all while maintaining her authentic self.

Hector with the smooth arms is a delightful addition to the lead ensemble. Heactor is here to stay!

The time jump highlights the fact that, while Valencia, Heather, and others have changed and moved forward with their lives, Rebecca Bunch seems to be in the same exact spot.

This stagnation, though, is not an admonition of Rebecca. It is not that she hasn’t progressed at all; it is just that her progress is not similar to her neurotypical friends.

“Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!” makes a very important point here: moving forward and progress look very different for a person with BPD, but are still meaningful and worthy of notice.

And the episode does notice Rebecca’s progress via the utterly-brilliant Dr. Akopian.

Rebecca’s emotional insight on the episode is the biggest and most important breakthrough of the season. It flows out from her meetings with Dr. Akopian, where she faces tough questions about her affair.

Rebecca notices and names the emotions that she feels when she see Mona. Shame, guilt, and jealousy attack her psyche. She is able to feel and name those appropriate emotions and recognize that she does not like them.

It may seem like a no-brainer for some people, but this is a leap in empathy and insight for Rebecca. I burst with joy watching her progress.

Rebecca is not going to be “cured” of BPD. That is not how personality disorders — like many other diseases, such as alcoholism — work.

She still struggles to notice anyone outside herself and her current desires. She has no idea that Sunil has been working at the firm for nearly a year! She dips out of Darryl’s baby shower without considering that he is likely devastated by his best friend’s absence.

But any expectation or portrayal that Rebecca is suddenly all-better after months of therapy would be very incongruent with the aims of the episode and the entire show.

Yes, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is witty and satirical. It is also waking viewers up to the complex, sad, intimate, and JOYFUL realities of mental health issues.

Rebecca knows what she is capable of when she feels abandoned, and that fear interacts with her desire to have a real relationship with Nathaniel.

The beautiful closing song lays those fears, and the ever-so-soft whisper of hope, down at the doorstep of an equally broken person. It is not funny, but it is one of the most affecting songs of the entire series. 

Valencia has a short amount of screen time on the episode, but it quickly creates a joy that bubbles over into the other characters’ stories.

Valencia’s chemistry with Beth is electric. Beth praises and admires Valencia for traits that she sees only Rebecca praised for: her wit and professional skills.

Valencia lights up at the compliments, and we see a bond instantly develop during the business lunch.

Valencia’s happiness at her romantic and business partnership with Beth is deeply gratifying. She is a character who deserves to be admired for her ideas. The flirty and functional romance between Beth and Valencia is a win for people who have been pushed aside or overlooked.

My hope for the next two episodes is that the characters with an exterior perspective, Josh Chan and Valencia, become the primary perspective.

I am busting out of myself — almost like I’m in an office supply closet! — thinking of  Rebecca taking us viewers with her as she becomes able to empathize with and understand Valencia and Josh Chan.

I feel it — it’s coming.

Crazy Thoughts:

• I remain sturdy in my conclusion that the show needs to address the past stalking and other criminal acts Rebecca committed. BUT this episode revives my hope that we will see this sometime on the series, even if it seeps over into the next season.
• A pregnant belly-button DOES look like an inside-out as*hole!
• Sunil’s musical theater references are on point. Let’s see Sunil sing them!
• Michael Hyatt as Dr. Akopian is EVERYTHING. Maybe this time she will stay on as a series regular! I missed her so.
• “A Few Mistakes in a Room Full of Office Supplies: the Rebecca Bunch Memoir.”
• White Josh still pining over Darryl gives me great hope. That dog may be a symbol of White Josh’s readiness for a baby.
• “Lot of words sounds like other words Josh”- White Josh’s saying one thing, and saying it all, to Josh Chan.
• Rachel Bloom has a stunning voice, and it is such a privilege to see her utilizing every facet of her talent on this show. What a gem.

What did you think of this episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend airs Fridays at 8/7c on the CW.

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