Portlandia Review: Ants (Season 7 Episode 8)

Portlandia gives us a well-rounded episode with funny sketches from start to finish on Season 7 Episode 8.

“Ants” is consistent with quality content in each and every sketch.

Likable characters in relatable situations make for a highly enjoyable half hour of television.

The main story features Lance and Nina. Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein have these characters down.

I feel so bad for Lance that the exterminator takes advantage of him. I am not expecting that and neither is Nina.

She gets them into this “carrot and the stick” situation and she ends up getting them out of it, too. She does it in such a loving way. Seriously, Lance and Nina are #RelationshipGoals.

Mr. Mayor is back, and he wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. He is growing his fingernails out so he can be the mayor with the longest fingernails in the world.

That is about as disgusting as you think it would be.

Fred and Carrie’s reaction to him is spot on, and The Mayor is characteristically single-minded about it. But, in the delightful way he usually is. Kyle MacLachlan also has this character down.

Grover’s parents have a consecutive appearance. They were the highlight for me on “Portland Secedes.”

They consider play date candidates by way of Yelp-style reviews. They approach Grover’s request like they would choosing a brunch spot.

Stacey only has a one-star rating, so she’s out. Looking for an alternative, they sift through reviews of children. Reviews of children. This is morally questionable, but I low-key love this idea.

“Had to wait 45 minutes to even figure out what the heck this kid was babbling about,” states one critique.

They settle on Lindsey, who Grover doesn’t even know, but it’s cool because Lindsey gives them 20 bucks. No wonder she has a glowing 4-star rating.

One of Portlandia’s strengths are the fictional businesses that they create. We get two on Season 7 Episode 8.

CMFB or Club For My Friend’s Band will provide a concert space for your friend and their band. But the service is really for you. It’s a way to make an annoying obligation more enjoyable.

There is probably a high demand for something like this in a hipster-ridden place like Portland.

Time Tailors is a fictitious service I would totally use in real life. I, too, am late for everything. It would be great to have these two with their bleached coifs telling me to stop using the words um, uh, and okay to “take seconds out of every second.”

Time Tailor: Give me an example of how you waste time.
Client: I spend, like, 8 hours on Reddit.
Time Tailor: I have the same problem. What I did was I got a piece of glass and I painted the website right on it. I can’t click on anything because it’s a painting.

The eco-terrorists are getting ready for Burning Man. They need to do something that makes an impact. I like what they come up with—this roller skating art car(s) beast—but it is the passive aggressiveness within the group that is so entertaining.

Eco-Terrorist 1 (Brownstein): Why don’t you cut your rat-tail for Burning Man?
Eco-Terrorist 2 (Armisen): It’s not a rat-tail. It’s a hair waterfall. If it were a rat-tail it would be thinner.
Eco-Terrorist 3: (Abbi Jacobson): Maybe it’s not like one rat-tail. Maybe it’s like a bunch of rats that are huddled up.
Eco-Terrorist 2: That implies that my head is the butt of the rat.
Eco-Terrorist 1: The butt of many rats.

Stray Observations: 

• “Take off your shoes if you’re going to go near the shelves.” I feel like whatever the reasoning for this is would make a great Lance and Nina sketch. I want to know WHY.
• I love Nina’s dad. He’s everything I expect him to be. More of him, please.
• “You’re going to freak out all the other mayors.”
• There is a subtle Chip Pinsky reference in the play date sketch. He was the “safe bully” from Season 7 Episode 5.
• “It’s about efficiency, proficiency, sufficiency.” “Oh, the ‘-iencies.'”

What did you think of this episode of Portlandia? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Portlandia airs Thursdays at 10p on IFC.

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