Dead of Summer Review: Barney Rubble Eyes (Season 1 Episode 2)

Looks like we have an early contender for the single worst character on Dead of Summer: Alex Powell. And yes, I am including the Tall Man ghost and the group of metalhead satanists.

“Barney Rubble Eyes” focuses heavily on Alex, much to its detriment. Why is that a detriment? Because Alex is terrible. Admittedly, I’m getting a bit repetitive, so let me back up and explain why Alex is awful.

This week’s installment opens on little Alexi, circa age five or six, in the Soviet Union of 1977. His rather sinister grandfather is set to remain behind while Alexi and his parents immigrate to the United States.

As Alexi’s grandfather bids him a not-so-warm farewell, he issues an omen to him. In a nutshell: “The world gives no gifts; if you want something, take it.”

Soon after their move stateside, little Alexi becomes “Alex Powell” after comically stereotypical shellacked-hair dry cleaner proprietor Tommy Delasotta barks some overtly prejudiced “advice” at him about the need to Americanize.

The Alex we’re stuck with in 1989 at Camp Stillwater is the grotesque creation of mixing Alexi’s grandpa’s harsh Eastern European advice and Tommy Delasotta’s warped “American Dream” ideology. The “lessons” he gleans from these two men lead him to become an actual terrible human being who is willing to threaten and blackmail people and even sacrifice friends in heinous ways, all in the name of “taking” what he wants.

Unfortunately, the second episode is far too soon to be getting such a negative portrait of Alex.

These flashbacks are invariably going to color my viewing of every single thing Alex does from here on out, and the flashbacks offer absolutely no redeemable traits for this character. He’s not sympathetic. There is a glimpse of what I assume is supposed to be sympathetic behavior in Alex’s dealings with lil’ weirdo Anton, but even that is tenuous at best and only serve to suggest that Alex would like to mold Anton into a mini-Alex.

It’s a classic failing of show-don’t-tell. The series doesn’t have the time to show us little Alexi being mocked and derided for his heritage. We’re just told about it and meant to take it on faith, but that’s not good enough. Hearing about Alexi’s tough time growing up isn’t enough to warrant feeling an iota of sympathy for the manipulative creep that he grows up to be.

Grown-up Alex’s two main malefactions are his blackmailing of Delasotta, the dry cleaner proprietor, and drugging Blotter with liquid acid in order to frame him and get him kicked out of camp. These are two hugely problematic actions and Alex’s apparent “goals” just don’t seem to logically warrant such extreme behavior.

In the first scenario, sure, Delasotta, is a prejudiced jerk, but are we seriously supposed to be rooting for Alex slowly but surely destroying the guy’s business because of a few asinine remarks? Also, on a purely objective note, Alex’s motive for doing this makes absolutely no sense. He’s going through all this trouble and risking jailtime for theft and blackmail… so that he can steal fancy clothes? Seriously?!

Granted, that’s only Alex’s stated motive. At the very end of his flashback sequence, Alex tells Delasotta that all he wants in return for his silence about Delasotta’s affair with Nadia the Russian employee is the ability to peruse Delasotta’s racks of dry cleaned clothes, in order to appear impressive at his summer camp job.

Ignoring how completely ridiculous that is as a sentence (“Gotta look like a wealthy, 18-year-old yacht-owner at my old summer camp, man!”), there has to be some other reason that Alex is stealing those clothes, right? Some grander, more nefarious or more important scheme?

Also, on a more long-term note, wouldn’t Delasotta eventually go out of business, once word got out that clothes were going missing left and right? I’m hung up on how little sense this makes as a plan.

Alex’s apparent reasoning for betraying Blotter, his longtime friend, and their Cabin 10 pact is even worse. Alex and Blotter start off the episode agreeing to a friendly bet between them about who will “score” with their lady love interest first: Blotter with Cricket, or Alex with Amy. Unfortunately for Blotter, he never stood a chance–Cricket is inexplicably head over heels for awful Alex.

Alex, on the other hand, makes great progress with Amy, via other underhanded means such as bribing a small child to pretend to be homesick so that Alex could play the hero in front of his crush. He then woos her with his skillful piano playing in an abandoned cabin (ostensibly the same cabin and same piano that we saw the Tall Men being dragged off of centuries back)–only to be interrupted by Blotter, rushing in to tell him that creepy lil’ Anton, plagued by a ghost, is missing again.

Deb understandably loses her cool more than once, thinking that Alex and Blotter allowed Anton to be kidnapped. Even when Anton is discovered safe and sound (albeit sitting atop a shallowly buried pile of bones), she’s all set to fire one of them. That’s when Alex pulls his most reprehensible and unforgivable move–drugging Blotter.

That whole bit is horrifying. Nothing freaks me out more than watching bad drug trips, and Blotter’s unwitting liquid acid trip is just that. He sees his face melting off and then sees a hand protruding from Alex’s mouth. The special effects aren’t the best, but they get the job done.

With an assist from Creepy Anton, Blotter is directed to the Tall Man’s barely-buried bones, which he digs up in the midst of his drug-induced stupor. Of course, they’re gone by the time Deb and Alex come to investigate, leaving Deb sure that Blotter is tripping (“I was a counselor in the ’70s!”) and consequently firing him. Bye-bye, Blotter.

But really: bye-bye, Blotter. He’s dead. Probably.

We don’t actually see Blotter killed, but that closing shot is all kinds of ominous: the Tall Man’s ghost pointing behind Blotter, Blotter turning and gaping in horror at some unseen threat. And then cut to black. Between that shot and Blotter’s earlier off-hand mention of his parents being away until August (meaning that they won’t realize he’s missing until at least then), he’s definitely a goner.

There are a few interesting turns in this rather weak Alex-centric episode that are keeping me intrigued.

For one, it’s ironic that after going through all that trouble, Alex loses Amy anyway. Blotter (rightfully) accuses Alex of having drugged him in front of the whole group, and Amy angrily stomps away. Given the good-girl moralistic persona we’ve seen from her so far, I can’t imagine she’ll be forgiving that anytime soon. So Alex’s betrayal of Blotter is essentially for naught.

The other two interesting twists have to do with the overarching camp haunting storyline.

First is the introduction of a new threat, tied into the camp horror: the metalhead satanists. Or, at least, I’m guessing they are satanists. The show’s creators heavily referenced the “Satanic Panic” of the late ’80s during our interview with them.

The metalheads wind up with the Tall Man’s bones, and I’m guessing they didn’t procure those in order to give him a proper Christian burial. Their brief conversation indicates that whatever trouble is brewing, they’re right smack dab in the middle of it and not on the side of good.

Finally, there’s the question of the Tall Man himself. In the premiere, we see him dragged away from his piano by a group of white men who wonder what he did to “them.” In “Barney Rubble Eyes,” the Tall Man haunts Anton, luring him away from the camp and beseeching him to find his bones. When Blotter is attacked in the closing moments, the Tall Man points beyond him, in the distance, almost as if issuing a silent “Look out!” warning to Blotter.

I’m guessing that, whatever evil is haunting the camp, the Tall Man isn’t a part of it. In fact, he’s likely a victim of it himself and sticking around to warn others off.

The warning Anton repeats to Alex even backs this up. The Tall Man apparently tells Anton to “find him or someone will die.” That “or” seems operative here. If they don’t keep the bones away from whoever is after them, there will be death and destruction. Just not at the Tall Man’s hand.

Stray thoughts:

• Here’s a fun drinking game for this episode: take a shot every time someone says “commie.” Enjoy your delightful hangover tomorrow.
• Despite how terrible the Alex flashbacks are, Alex’s portrayer Ronen Rubinstein gives his level-best performance.
• Jessie continues to be totally groan-worthy, despite the fact that her advice to Amy, warning her away from Alex, winds up being right on the money.
• Speaking of which: despite knowing that Alex drugged Blotter, Cricket is still all smiles when Amy ditches Alex? Girl, what? Why on earth would she still want him, knowing that?
• What on earth is going on with Deb and Joel? He nearly uncovers whatever is in her secret wooden box and suddenly she warms up to him again? Very suspicious.
• The only potential pairing I give a hoot about is Drew/Blair. I’m really interested to see how they handle this, particularly since Blair is a gay man and Drew is now confirmed to be a transgender man. Mark Indelicato and Zelda Williams have wonderful chemistry.

What did you think of this episode of Dead of Summer? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Reviewer Rating:

User Rating:

 

Dead of Summer airs Tuesday at 9/8c on Freeform.

Follow us on Twitter @TellTV