Game of Thrones: Brienne of Tarth, or the End of Stereotypes

I fell in love with Brienne of Tarth many years ago.

It happened before she had a face, before Gwendoline Christie embodied this character on the Game of Thrones TV adaptation and made it so, for the rest of my days, Brienne’s face would be Gwendoline’s.

I fell in love with her in the pages of a book, because she was strong and weak, because she was in love with a man who could never love her back, and because she was a knight who would give her life for him.

I fell in love with her because she was like me, and because she was different.

The love grew to extraordinary proportions later on, when Renly was no more, when she was schooling Jamie, and then saving him, only to be saved by him. It’s hard to truly love an ideal, and Brienne was a bit of that, at the beginning.

It is, however, extremely easy to love a woman with faults, with doubts, a woman who cares, a woman who is like you, and the same time, isn’t, because she’s stronger, better.

We live in a world of stereotypes. Many of the problems we have with sexism and homophobia have to do with the image we have of what people different than us should be. Television, books, and even movies, have taught us to place people in little boxes and expect certain things from them.

If people behave like we want, like we expect them to, then we’re fine with them. More than fine, we probably don’t even notice them, one way or another. If they dare to break out of the mold, though, that’s when we have a problem. That’s when we react.

Brienne of Tarth breaks any and all stereotypes.

She’s not a man, though she has been described as “manly.” She’s not a knight either, though she dresses like one, fights better than most, and deserves the title more than most people.

She’s a woman who refused to sit down, wear gowns and be told what to do. She’s a woman who decided that her own way of being strong was perfectly acceptable, and she was going to follow it, no matter the consequences.

She’s a trailblazer.

Maybe we forgot in Season 5, with how little we saw of her. It’s been a while since we got a new book. Gwendoline Christie is now kicking ass in other mediums, inhabiting other characters.

And yet, if the season premiere of Game of Thrones episode reminded us of something, is that this actress, this character, is not just a construct of a fantasy world, she’s a role model in this one, and we should be treating her as such.

We, and by we I mean women, in general, grow up think that our strength is limited. We can be mentally strong, we can be the support, the brains, the faithful and brilliant sidekick, but we can never be the brawn.

We don’t get to be the lead. Men are just stronger, better. And though genetics plays a part in what women can and can’t do, this kind of thinking is just placing limitations upon ourselves, playing into the stereotypes, putting ourselves into the little box and refusing to accept that there might be exceptions to every rule.

For every Hermione, and Felicity Smoak there is a Brienne of Tarth, and we should embrace that.

That doesn’t necessarily mean every woman needs to go out there, wield a sword, and kick literal ass. Swords are not really practical in this day and age, and kicking ass is a very hard and difficult business.

What it means, though, is that we shouldn’t tell a woman that she can’t do it, if that’s what she wants. It means we should be breaking out of outdated stereotypes. It means we should look at a show like Game of Thrones and see past the deaths, the questionable treatment of rape, and the Jon Snow questions and focus on the good.

Focus on Brienne, and the message her existence sends. The message that you can be anything you want. The message that being strong physically doesn’t make you any less of a woman. The message that you can be the savior sometimes; you can be the “muscle.”

Focus on Gwendoline Christie, and the way she sells Brienne as a real woman with feelings who is still, by all standards imaginable, a badass in her own right. Focus on how beautiful she is, and yet, how little she conforms to the standards of acceptable beauty. Focus on how little she cares about the process of inhabiting an “ugly” woman, because she sees the beauty on the inside, just like we all do.

Take them to heart. Internalize them. Let them make you better. Let them help you break free of expectations. Stereotypes are just a social construct. Real people are different, real people are strong, and weak, and pretty in their own way.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.