Buffy the Vampire Slayer Re-Watch: The Pack (Season 1 Episode 6)

And the weird behavior award goes to…

I don’t even know where to start. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s first five episodes, we see that dating is tricky, teachers are sometimes praying mantis demons, witches desperately want in on the cheerleading squad, and there’s a REALLY bad ass vampire underground that wants to kill Buffy.

By the time you reach the halfway point in the first season of a show, you have a really good grasp of what type of series you’re watching. Thankfully, “The Pack” is NOT that indicator (although it is the halfway point of Season 1), because if it were I’m not sure why anyone would have continued to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

When I first set out to write about “The Pack,” I thought long and hard about the subject of bullying, as it’s a deep rooted message buried somewhere in this mess of an episode. Upon my viewing and note taking, I found bullying to be a such small fraction of the episode when comparing some of the much greater issues presented in this train wreck.

So I’ve decided to just break down “The Pack” in a series of photos and commentary. First off, I looked similar to this while watching this episode:

Somehow in my mess of a memory, I must have forgotten how truly terrible “The Pack” is. I’d love to tell you it’s comically terrible, but the thing is, it’s not comedy at all. It’s cringe-worthy.

Here’s the basic premise: on a HIGH SCHOOL field trip to the zoo, the meanest bullies ever (with the worst wardrobe choices) break into a hyena house and they’re basically planning on feeding a mousey kid they’re picking on to hyenas (well, hopefully they’re not actually THAT mean.) Xander decides to follow them into the hyena house (which, BTW is TOTALLY off limits) to “save” the target kid. And because OF COURSE hyenas that mysteriously arrive from a random part of Africa are full of mystical energy, the meanest bullies ever, and Xander, all become possessed.

Let me first pose the question, how many high schools take field trips to the zoo? My last field trip to the zoo was in the 6th grade. I mean, I guess it makes sense for anatomy class, or biology? Maybe? Secondly, who’s the jerk not paying any attention at all to this:

“Positively No Admittance.” The sign could not be more clear. Maybe a guard would be necessary. Who’s watching the security cameras? And who dropped the ball when not one, but SIX kids enter that closed hyena house? Minor detail, I know.

And of course, this is the ’90s and there’s no better way to let your audience know that a character is possessed than to give them yellow eyes. Also, do you recognize anyone in this photo? One of the meanest bullies ever, Kyle, goes on to become fan favorite August on another cult show, Once Upon a Time.

Right away, it’s clear that there’s something wrong with Xander after he exits the hyena house. Xander isn’t exhibiting the behaviors we’ve always know and loved from him. He’s not cracking awkward jokes, giggling uncomfortably, or wearing strangely printed oversized shirts.

Xander is suddenly suave, handsome, and super duper confident. He’s also very menacing and has an “abusive boyfriend in a Lifetime movie” kind of vibe.

See? Not much has changed PHYSICALLY about Xander, other than that aforementioned confidence. If Xander were ever to become more sure of himself, assertive, and not a hyena, would that suddenly make him a stud? That’s an avenue that the show should explore.

We remember that Willow is completely enamored by Xander because it’s been a subject in every episode thus far of the series. We also learn that she knows what many of his favorite things and activities are, and also knows his blood pressure. This wasn’t a casual joke either, she spouted out Xander’s actual blood pressure. How is she acquiring this knowledge? This is a time way before FitBits and sharing of fitness and health info on apps.

Buffy and stalker Willow are obviously quite concerned with Xander’s new behavior, and that fact that he’s suddenly best friends with the meanest bullies ever. But there’s no way to REALLY tell how far gone your friend is unless you play a good ol’ game of dodgeball with the weirdest gym teacher that definitely gets a little too excited about teenagers throwing balls at each other.

 

Gym Teacher: God, this game is brutal. I love it.

Anyone else get the vibe that the gym teacher went home and…you know, I’m just going to stop myself. He’s very passionate about his job.

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