Jane the Virgin Review: Chapter Twenty-Three (Season 2 Episode 1)

Welcome home, Mateo Gloriano Rogelio Solano Villanueva!

Thankfully, Jane the Virgin gives us a fast reunion for baby Mateo and new mommy, Jane, following his kidnapping. If you recall, Sin Rostro took the newborn at the end of Season 1 Episode 22 “Chapter Twenty-Two,” something which left many viewers feeling uneasy and anxious about all summer.

Within the first fifteen minutes of, “Chapter Twenty-Three,” Jane and Rafael have their son in their arms once again, all thanks to Jane’s ex-fiance, and detective, Michael –who is obviously still very in love with Jane, but respecting that Jane wants to focus only on Mateo right now, and not on a convoluted love triangle.

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the plot of Jane the Virgin, Michael sums up the events that transpired in Season 1 very well to the patron seated next to him at the bar, where he has gone to drown his sorrows now that Jane and Rafael’s baby has arrived.

Bar Patron: I got passed over for a promotion, again.
Michael: Aw, that sucks. My ex fiancé was accidentally artificially inseminated with the sperm of this rich hotel owner, who she just happened to have a crush on in high school. They had their baby tonight, so…
Bar Patron: Oh…you win.

Sin Rostro wants evidence that was in police custody, a microchip that has the faces and names of every bad guy she has worked with. Michael doesn’t hesitate for a second to trade the information for the baby, because as much as he wants to catch Sin Rostro, Jane will always be the most important thing in Michael’s life.

I have to wonder. though, had Michael known what was on that chip before trading it for baby Mateo, would he have stalled to get the information, or would it have still been a straight shot to get Mateo back to Jane as quickly as possible?

Jane is the typical new mom. She has no idea what she’s doing, and is relying on the advice of every book and cellphone app that she can get her hands on. Her behavior is completely relatable to all first time moms, and Gina Rodriguez completely nails what it’s like to be frantic over everything, from the amount of minutes between feedings to the anxiety a new mom feels until her milk comes in.

What’s less typical for Jane is everything else she’s dealing with as a new mom.

While adjusting to life with a newborn who has just been returned after a kidnapping is hectic enough, Jane gets a surprise when she arrives home–paparazzi. And nuns. And monks. All because of Rogelio’s twitter account. Possibly because of Gloria Estefan. (It was really sweet that she wanted to help!)

Rogelio, in typical fashion, makes the entire press event on the lawn about him. When Rogelio goes off the rails and his celebrity takes over, everything takes a backseat, even the fact that his daughter might have wanted some privacy. In this case, Rogelio was trying to use his celebrity for good. Michael stepped in to relieve some of his guilt; Amber Alerts are serious business, normally a wonderful thing to share.

Anytime that Rogelio and Michael have a heart to heart, it’s automatically a highlight. Rogelio is easily the most cartoonish character on the series, while Michael is the most grounded. When they connect somewhere in the middle, it always brings us laugh out loud moments.

Rogelio: I did this. I brought the paparazzi upon her. If I hadn’t retweeted that Amber Alert… I never thought I’d be feeling anything but #blessed to be famous, but now I’m feeling #cursed.

Michael to the rescue again! He threatens arrests on anyone who steps onto Jane’s front yard, and Jane could not have been more relieved or grateful. Michael has been nothing but Jane’s hero throughout this entire over-the-top crazy predicament. It’s no wonder that it leaves her smiling like a school girl to know that he’s watching over her.

Michael’s really sounding like the better man, isn’t he?

That’s not to say that Rafael is out of the fight for Jane. He springs into action immediately, assisting Michael in Mateo’s safe return. He tries to make up for the things he missed in Jane’s pregnancy, like that lactation class. He even humbles himself and asks Michael for advice in how to be a part of the Villanueva family, knowing that Michael is the expert.

Michael had every right to give Rafael bad advice. It wouldn’t have surprised anyone if his actions were a little conniving and were all an attempt to win back Jane’s affections. By choosing to legitimately help Rafael, even knowing that it might bring Jane closer to his rival, it showed that Michael is just a great guy.

Though their friendship, (if it could be labeled as such,) is strange and uncomfortable for them both, it’s nice when Michael and Rafael are both on the same side, putting Jane ahead of their own agendas. I’d like to see it as a burgeoning bromance, but let’s face it, they’re both after the same girl, and one of them is going to lose.

Michael leaves Jane with a big smile, but don’t count out Rafael’s abs–I mean, Rafael. His presence will probably continue to confuse Jane, and while she says she’s focusing on Mateo, her two suitors aren’t far from her mind (or her bed,) at all.

Jane: This is a little weird.
Rafael: Yeah, but it was always gonna be a little weird.

As if having an artificially inseminated baby with his ex-girlfriend wasn’t weird enough for Rafael, his ex-wife turned business partner, Petra, has stolen his last remaining sperm sample, and is mulling over whether or not to inseminate herself. Rafael, of course, knows nothing about this, and if Petra’s turkey baster plan (literally!) works, Rafael will have quite a surprise on his hands.

Petra’s actions are not thought out very well at all, save for a very good Pro & Con list. Somehow though, I feel sympathy for the desperate woman, who herself was almost the mother of Rafael’s baby. Even with the knowledge of how crazy Petra is, her memories of a gender reveal cupcake, and knowing what might have been, tugged on my heartstrings.

Petra’s new friendship with Rafael’s sister, Luisa, is dangerous. They are both prone to making bad choices, and together they’ll be a complete train wreck. Sadly, they only have each other. It might be fun if Luisa develops a crush on Petra, and we could be treated to a one-sided love affair, maybe one that would land Luisa back into the psychiatric ward.

Petra just wants to be happy again. For all of the games she’s played and lies she’s told to try and gain happiness, nothing has ever made her happier than she was in the early days of her marriage to Rafael. Flashbacks, like the ones we were treated to in, “Chapter Twenty-Three,” are giving us a glimpse into what once was, and making Petra a sympathetic, albeit crazy, woman.

Narrator: I’ll say this, the girl’s got spunk.

Newly married Xo didn’t have time to decide how she felt about her drunk vows. Her focus was completely on how she could help her daughter adjust to being a mom, whether it was to hold Mateo while Jane slept, or be there to shove Jane’s boob into his mouth like a hamburger.

Xo’s adjusting to her role as a grandma with ease, but I have to wonder how Xo and Jane’s relationship will change now that Jane has Mateo. Jane has always been there to be Xo’s rock in their role-reversed relationship. Now that Jane’s attention will be divided, Xo will need to rely on someone else to be the “mom.”

Maybe her marriage to Rogelio was a part of her acting out to win back some of that attention, in some odd psychological way?

If it was, it didn’t work. Xo and Rogelio’s new marriage wasn’t at the forefront of anyone’s minds in, “Chapter Twenty-Three,”  with the kidnapping and all. Everyone actually seems pretty okay with the union, even Alba. I’m sure as this continues to unfold, it will make us laugh in the weeks to come. It’s Xo and Ro! How could it not?

The new question on everyone’s minds in who the woman in the ski-lodge is, and what she wants with Jane. Is she a partner to Sin Rostro? Does she have her own unique agenda? Or in a shocking telenovela twist, could she be Rafael’s mother?

One thing we don’t have to question: Season 2 of Jane the Virgin is sure to be just as funny and exciting as it’s first.

What did you think of, “Chapter Twenty-Three”? Who is that woman? Team Michael or Team Rafael? Do Michael and Rafael have a bromance? Are you #blessed? Sound off below!

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Jane the Virgin airs Mondays at 9/8c on The CW.