Riverdale Review: Chapter Eighty-Six: The Pincushion Man (Season 5 Episode 10)

And it’s off the rails we go!

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 10, “Chapter Eighty-Six: The Pincushion Man,” dives fully into the crazy with an episode that reminds us of what this show does best: total and absolute chaos.

That’s not a critique. Riverdale really does shine brighter when it embraces its chaotic nature, implementing plot lines that put “Twin Peaks” to shame.

Two serial killers escaping jail so they can get married at a nine-year-old’s birthday party by their pseudo-shared mother, before forcing their sister Betty to stab her boyfriend(?) like he’s a pincushion doll as they watch, is quite the impressive story to tell. And that’s only five minutes of the episode.

Aliens, escaped convicts, psychedelic maple mushrooms, and ancestral family curses are all bonkers plot devices that make Riverdale insane in exactly the way it should be — but there are still characters to deal with. 

Outer conflict is never truly what carries a show. Characterization is always imperative to the success of a series. Viewers should be entertained by the action, but also need to care about the people they’re watching; they have to invest in the journeys characters are taking. 

This is where Riverdale ultimately fails. It leans too heavily on the wacky, and lets more grounded character arcs fall quickly by the wayside. Five seasons in, it has yet to realize it needs to focus on both.

Every season begins with promise, and no season has started stronger than Season 5. With a time jump resetting and rejuvenating the world of Riverdale, a solid foundation was laid for characters to settle into their new, adult lives.

Those potentially refreshing arcs fell off quickly as a mess of plot began to take the place of smaller, more intimate character moments. “Pincushion Man” feels like a final nail in the coffin of a promising new beginning.

The frustrating thing about Riverdale is how the story is right there. There’s plenty of opportunities to work around the crazy and let characters explore their personal dynamics, but the show never seems to take the road less traveled.

Instead, it takes the road traveled so often, there are immovable imprints the size of potholes in every direction. 

Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper may be the only exceptions to this rule.

Betty is knee-deep in crazy; her family is the epicenter for some of Riverdale’s most outlandish storytelling ideas. “Pincushion Man” showcases this perfectly, with the return of Charles, Chic, and Hal’s old Black Hood tapes.  

Those experiences have clearly taken a toll on her psyche, leaving behind a massive amount of trauma she’s avidly avoiding. However, the horrors of her past have also turned her into a cunning and intelligent woman; a now steadfast figurehead in otherwise deranged circumstances.

Jughead is the opposite side of that coin. His willingness to both recognize and work through his trauma continues to weave seamlessly into the stranger aspects of his alien-hunting storyline. The aliens are simply a representation of that trauma, after all. 

There’s also the added layer of the tortured artist; the inner writer in him carries emotions in painstaking ways, tearing at old wounds the minute he lets his guard down.

Jughead tripping on maple mushrooms is the wild part of the story. Watching him work through his heartbreak over Betty hurting him so many years ago, is the intimate character moment that makes it all worth it.

He’s clearly still tormented over what happened between Betty and Archie in high school, and he hasn’t even become privy to their recent sleeping arrangements.

Allowing him to openly struggle with what happened in the past, opens the story up for more potential conflict when he realizes what’s been going on under his nose in the present. 

Jughead Jones is proof Riverdale can scale a balance. It can create interesting character conflict whenever it wants, making Veronica and Archie an incredulous mystery.

Creating a love triangle by shoehorning Chad back into their relationship does nothing to service the characters or their story. 

Allowing Veronica the grace of reacting with human emotion to Betty and Archie’s complicated dynamic, is a much more interesting choice; the audience cares about Betty, and therefore the stakes are raised.

Veronica’s feigning disinterest doesn’t exactly sell her and Archie as a meaningful relationship, nor does it make much sense. Archie has been involved with Betty three times now — two of those times being when he was still involved with Veronica. 

Juxtaposed with the (understandable) torture Jughead has felt for seven years over the betrayal, Veronica’s lack of reaction to Archie’s attachment to Betty feels like a gross disservice to her character. 

Throwing her in bed with Chad feels even more egregious, assuming the show plans on giving Archie the opportunity to erupt over what he will feel is an illicit move against him. It seems likely, considering his attitude on their phone call. Why should she face backlash for something he’s done multiple times?

The show goes to painstaking lengths to avoid a love triangle that involves two women and one man, but in those efforts begins to become senseless, undermining its characters. 

There’s also a way to depict a love triangle (or, in this case, quadrilateral) between adults that doesn’t involve directly pitting two women against each other — two women who, by the way, haven’t shared a single scene together post time jump. 

Riverdale has so much character depth right at its fingertips. There are stories built over the course of five seasons that could serve as a never-ending well of interesting material — stories that wouldn’t take away from the eccentricity Riverdale is known for.

Unfortunately, it too often gets traded in for choppy, redundant storytelling that only pays off half the time.

It’s as if Riverdale throws plot at the wall, just to see what sticks.

Right now, there isn’t a whole lot that seems to be sticking. Here’s hoping Riverdale’s midseason return will come back swinging. 

Random Thoughts:

• Wyatt Nash is excellent and hilarious as Psycho!Charles. I wish we saw more of him, earlier.
• Jughead dropping acid by way of a cheeseburger is absolute perfection.
• They might be going the platonic route with Jabitha, but boy, did that dance have chemistry.
• Glenn may be more unlikable than Chad, but I love seeing him get slapped!
• Hearing Penelope Blossom call Cheryl “Nightmare Child” will never get old.
• Reggie’s arc is a mess. There is no motive for his actions; he deserves better. 
• Is Betty’s cat okay, and is anyone looking after it?
• It was nice to see Kevin and Archie sharing scenes. 
• Maybe Cheryl will be the one to defeat Hiram, once and for all.

What did you think of this episode of Riverdale? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW. 

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