Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Finale Recap: Rules of Engagement (Season 7 Episode 21)
On Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 21, “Rules of Engagement,” everyone gathers together to celebrate Jax and Brittany’s engagement.
Vanderpump Rules runneth over with truly epic moments, saving the best for last on the series finale. The backdrop is Jax and Brittany’s engagement party because what better excuse to throw a party and corral everyone together in one place with lots of booze?
There is no way Bravo didn’t foot the bill for some of this party, or Jax and Brittany cut some deals with the vendors in exchange for free publicity. The price tag appears to hover over $20 grand (and we’re supposed to believe he’s a just a bartender, and she’s a waitress). Let’s hope the beer cheese business is lucrative enough to pay for the wedding.
The episode has one of its best moments during the season recap before the opening credits even roll. We see James get fired, and the subsequent series of disinvites and exclusions from every event this season. No wonder the kid’s in therapy, and like several other castmates, we get a front seat to James’ attempts at mental healing.
James says he’s trying to keep his temper under control but recounts the blow-up he has with the Toms after learning he’s been uninvited on the group trip to Mexico. James is also not drinking … as much. It’s just a few beers, and who wants to be the sober guy at a party?
James doesn’t have a drinking problem. He just drinks to forget everything he doesn’t like about his life. In James’ brain, drinking makes him more charismatic despite all evidence to the contrary. James’ problem is he just cares too darn much.
There is some pre-party drama brewing. Scheana’s attempt to make Adam jealous by hanging (and banging) a hot male model works so well, he’s not speaking to her. Predictably devastated, Scheana makes a big romantic gesture: she adopts a penguin for Adam and names her “Spot.”
Also, predictably stupid, it’s surprising Scheana A) thinks this will work and B) doesn’t name the penguin “Stripe.”Nothing says “I’m sorry,” like adopting a penguin for someone.
Scheana: If he’s [Adam] still mad at me after I got him a f***ing penguin than we’re done.
Ariana has an issue with LVP she plans to address with the boss herself. Upon returning from the annual group vacay, the Toms did an interview with Lisa, during which she calls them out for leaving town. An idea we’re supposed to believe is Lisa’s in the first place.
Ariana feels Lisa shouldn’t be so tough on the Toms, especially since they went on a “barmoon” with her blessing. Ariana may not want to get married, or have Tom Sandoval’s babies, or even have sex with him on the reg, but she will defend him to Lisa Vanderpump.
If Stassi’s looking for material for her follow-up book about being a “basic b**ch,” she should consider including party buses with stripper poles. I only mention it because this is how everyone, including Brittany’s “Mamaw” gets to the venue. Classy.
LVP and Ken are in attendance, and Lisa serves as the Three-Eyed Raven of the party. She’s got words of wisdom to impart to everyone about love, commitment, life choices, etc.
The list does go on, and on, and on, and on. I will say that I love me some LVP no matter what the other Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast members have to say about her.
Everyone who’s anyone is at this bash with the exception of James and Raquel. The couple have the most awkward dinner date at SUR of all places. They discuss their future together which includes marriage, babies, and Raquel doing some kind of work somewhere.
Brittany chooses a fairyland motif, but the real theme of the party is how much Jax has changed for the better. He doesn’t get credit for any improvements.
It’s unanimous that Brittany is the good woman behind this new and improved man. Nobody’s entirely sure it will stick, including Brittany, but she’s not backing out now.
The party is surprisingly low-key with one exception — a drunken Scheana. At Tom Schwartz’s urging, Adam decides to confront Scheana about her one-night stand with the supermodel.
Scheana remains convinced her behavior is exactly what Adam needs to realize he’s in love with her and wants to be with her. Think again.
Scheana: Do you love me? Just answer the question.
Adam: No.
Foiled again, Scheana, foiled again. She’s a hot mess after their argument (this doesn’t go unnoticed by an annoyed Jax) and turns to Brittany’s Mamaw for comfort. This is the reward you get for living a long life?
Ariana makes good on her promise to defend her boyfriend to LVP and chastise Lisa for not giving the Toms the respect they deserve. Lisa’s not apologetic.
She and the Toms go back and forth with the banter. That’s their thing, and how is she supposed to take them that seriously? After all, they are Sandoval and Schwartz.
Lisa does assure Ariana that she wouldn’t have put the Toms’ names on her bar if she had NO respect for them, but these boys still need to prove themselves.
Everybody’s in love. Everybody’s happy (except Scheana), and everybody’s having a good time (except Scheana). It kind of makes you nostalgic for old times when someone gets punched in the face during these things.
To cap off the night, Lisa Vanderpump drinks from a customized beer bong the Toms present to her. As if I thought it were possible to adore this woman anymore, she proves time and again, she’s not just some British tight-ass.
Much love and respect, LVP.
I can’t wait for the reunion.
What did you think of this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Reunion Part 1 airs Monday, May 6 at 9/8c on Bravo.
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.