Vanderpump Rules Recap: Tom and Tommer (Season 7 Episode 9)
On Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Episode 9, “Tom and Tommer,” Lisa and the Toms rush to get TomTom ready for its soft opening. Lala plans a girls’ trip.
After hearing about TomTom non-stop for the last two seasons, it’s finally time for the place to open — sort of. The bar-restaurant (but who really cares about the food, right?) is the venue for a Daily Mail TV soiree. But the really big news is that we see the two Toms do actual work.
Lisa gives them a honey-do list which is obviously scut work to keep them from getting under foot while the adults do the heavy lifting. Would anyone trust these guys with running a real business? Tom Sandoval reveals he doesn’t even know the street address of the place, and Tom Schwartz is unable to identify a tampon dispenser.
While Tom Sandoval has a mild nervous breakdown running errands that don’t equal what the average soccer mom accomplishes in a day, Tom Schwartz deals with the talent — James. The British bad boy of Bravo is still on a supposed self-improvement kick.
Eager to get back in Lala’s good graces, James tries to write an apology letter to her boyfriend, Randall, aka “Fat Man.” He doesn’t get very far before Raquel questions why he’s trying to rekindle his friendship with a woman who called her a f***ing t**t. Raquel views this as an act of betrayal, so James abandons the project.
Enter Tom Schwartz who drops by to help “curate the playlist” for the party. As if someone with James’ ego would need or want Schwartzie’s input. Out of the blue, Tom brings up Girls’ Night In in a completely random, non-sequitur kind of way.
The point of this is obviously to trigger James who says he’s okay with being supplanted by Katie and the other women clad in lingerie, but he clearly isn’t. James really goes into full meltdown mode when Raquel mentions she might stop by SUR. After all, she is a girl.
James points out Raquel’s hypocrisy and storms out of the apartment. He returns moments later and proceeds to call females sluts and say how much he hates Katie and her cohorts. James may be sober, but it’s in these moments that viewers see his true colors.
That’s not to say that James won’t change, but right now he’s a kid starring on a popular reality TV show. Where’s the motivation? The worse he behaves, the more screen time he gets.
While on the subject of overgrown kids, Jax officially celebrates his 39th birthday. This occasion is tough for Jax because it’s the first birthday without his father around. There’s also drama between Jax and his mother. Nothing brings out the worst in people than weddings and funerals.
In other interesting news, who knew Jax had a sister? I can’t help but feel he was hatched somewhere. It’s hard to imagine Jax as Jason.
Also still recovering from the death of a parent is Lala, who is eager to show her appreciation for the support she received from her pals when her own father passed. Lala meets Scheana for coffee (I’m guessing she did not make the trek to Marina Del Ray) and reveals she wants to fuel up the private jet or “peej” and take the girls to wine country.
Just to be clear, Lala prefers to take a 20-minute ride on a private jet rather than sit in a car for two hours.
Scheana is cautiously optimistic about the getaway. Scheana is desperate to get back in Stassi’s, Kristen’s, and Katie’s good graces. Given all three made it clear they’d rather die than leave West Hollywood for her housewarming party, things don’t look good.
In what seems kind of like a mean girl moment, Lala, who is suddenly besties with everyone she used to despise, lets Scheana know that basically, the other women find her … annoying. To be fair, Scheana was annoying from the jump, but all that obnoxious chatter during season six about the infamous Rob didn’t help matters.
This brings Scheana to tears, and she wonders why she bothers trying. Just to rub salt in the wound she created, Lala wonders the same thing, telling Scheana she’ll never win over the others.
Scheana isn’t the only one who finds herself out of the inner circle. Kristen Doute finds gets a text from Schwartz uninviting to the big TomTom reveal after Lisa puts her foot down. It’s a tad shocking Kristen doesn’t just go anyway since that’s kind of her modus operandi.
Despite all the faux drama surrounding whether TomTom will be up and operational in time for the party, the doors do open. As Lala says, the place is “chic AF” (I find myself quoting Lala every week).
The two Toms dress in matching suits, just like twin toddlers. Lala demonstrates that fanny packs are, indeed, back in vogue. Lisa is a vision in white, and Katie dresses like a middle school teacher.
Everyone is well-behaved, and we actually get to see Lisa Vanderpump a bit tipsy. Tom Sandoval takes it as a compliment that Lisa trusts him and Schwartz enough to let her guard down. But Peter is serving as the temporary manager of TomTom, and we never see the two Toms break a sweat.
Stassi goes on and on to Lala about how great their group of friends is which is setting the stage for some future drama. Expect Kristen Doute to be super salty about being left out and to put a damper on the girls’ getaway. Wine and whining never mix.
What did you think of this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9/8c on Bravo.
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Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer has been working as a freelance writer for six years, contributing to BuddyTV, Screen Rant, TVRage, Hidden Remote, Gossip On This, and PopMatters. She prefers binge-watching old episodes of The Office (British and American versions) to long walks on the beach. She's still holding out hope that Happy Endings will get a revival.