The Goldbergs Review: Goldberg On The Goldbergs (Season 5 Episode 3)

The Goldbergs Season 5 Episode 3, “Goldberg On The Goldbergs,” gives us the back story of Coach Mellor that we didn’t know we needed.

Coach Mellor pits brother against brother in gym class, but Beverly one-ups him by making him face his own brother.

His brother is played by real life pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg, whose ring name was Goldberg—giving us the most meta episode title, “Goldberg On The Goldbergs.”

The parallels between Adam and Barry and the coaches are enough to scare Beverly into meddling. Her smothering can’t be contained to just her blood relatives.

We know this by now.

There’s a lot to unpack with Coach Mellor’s complicated past and family dynamic, including his mom’s squat-related death, but the crux of the matter is his brother.

He is seemingly better and literally bigger than Coach Mellor. He has a cushier job, being the coach of a college football team, while Coach Mellor views his stature in life as a “glorified activities advisor with chicken cutlet thighs.”

Once Beverly gets them together to “sort out decades of anger,” we see the two brothers are just as competitive as a couple of teenagers—even over whistles. They are both acting childish so what better way for them to work out their problems than with a kid’s game.

Scooter ball isn’t exactly what Beverly has in mind, and she tries to protect both Adam and Coach by talking them out of it. Coach Mellor may be weird and out of touch, but he often does give sound advice.

He schooled Barry and Erica in the domestic arts on the last episode, The Goldbergs Season 5 Episode 2.

Coach Mellor: Unless you want to go back to your mother solving all your problems, you’ll end up like me.
Adam: Oh God! That’s the last thing I want. No offense.
Coach Mellor: Some taken.

Two-on-two scooter ball is not that exciting, but it is ripe for physical comedy. Bill Goldberg and Bryan Callen as the Mellor brothers are especially funny here.

Barry (Troy Gentile) and Adam (Sean Giambrone) have a sweet make-up scene at the end, leaving Beverly (Wendi McClendon-Covey) worry-free.

For now, at least.

Adam: Even though you give me dead arms, call me a nerd, and flush the toilet when I’m in the shower, you really are my best friend.

I am an only child, so I don’t know how realistic this nice and neat wrap-up is, but I totally buy it. Gentile and Giambrone sell the conflict as well as the resolution really well.

On Season 4 of The Goldbergs, there were a lot of nice father-daughter moments between Murray and Erica, and on Season 5 Episode 3 we get more of it.

I appreciate it even more now that Erica is away at college.

Just like Beverly can’t fight all of Adam’s battles, Murray can’t be the one to protect Erica.

Murray: I didn’t want you to be unhappy. I just wanted you to be lonely.

It’s nice when the parents learn lessons, too.

Stray Observations: 

• Th RA is back! And with hilarious pamphlets! “Depression: More than just a case of the Mondays.”
• “Hustle, hustle. Build that muscle.” That’s a Coach Mellor gem.
• “Even your wandering eye hates you and wants to leave your head.”
• Did Bill Goldberg really eat those orange slices whole? I have to know!
• “Let’s throw away our futures, and keep this love train chugging on down to marriage town.”

What did you think of this episode of The Goldbergs? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

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The Goldbergs airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on ABC.

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