Designated Survivor: Top Quotes from ‘Suckers’ (Season 2 Episode 5)

On Designated Survivor Season 2 Episode 5, “Suckers,” Kirkman learns the hard way how bad press can affect his efficacy as the president. Suckergate is not messing around.

Here’s my picks for top quotes from “Suckers.”

Treats, not tricks

Lyor: If you do the Halloween thing again, I’ll murder you with an axe.

It amuses me that Emily is going around using her one Halloween joke on everyone. Such a small detail, but it says a lot about who she is as a person. Hey, when you’ve got good material, use it.

Also, Lyor’s comment, and its reception, shows that he’s been accepted by the inner circle or whatever we are calling Seth and Emily (and Aaron).

When Lyor first arrived, Seth and Aaron weren’t too thrilled with him and his weirdness, so it’s nice to see that Lyor is getting along with everyone.

Lyor’s a great addition to the staff. Instead of being annoying, Lyor’s quite delightful and usually delivers the best lines of an episode.

Speaking of treats

Hannah: You know I can always call DHS and have you deported again. It’s like UBER with handcuffs.

Damien: The ongoing pleasures of American hospitality.

Hannah and Damien making out? Here. For. It.

Since Emily and Aaron’s sexual tension has been forgotten about, I’m all for Hannah and Damien providing us with our dose of romance.

They make a great team, and their banter is beyond entertaining. Hopefully, Damien sticks around for a bit so we can see these two work and flirt and make out. Chuck is not going to be happy.

Also, Hannah cracking jokes and being sarcastic is amazing. Granted, when she says “UBER with handcuffs,” my mind goes to a different place…

The trouble with honesty

Lyor: If you would have told me he was this honest, I never would have taken this job.

Emily: You realize that’s bananas, right?

Lyor: I don’t like scruples. They are impractical.

Emily: His scruples are why everyone in this building would run through a wall for him.

Only Lyor would have a problem with someone being honest.

While, at first, it seems ridiculous that Lyor would have a problem with Kirkman’s scrumples, you have to take into account what his job is. In order to do his job well, Lyor needs to be working with someone who is willing to bend the truth or do something that’s a little shady.

That man is definitely not Tom Kirkman, as the hour proves, but that’s why we love him so much.

Kirkman isn’t a politician. He is still realizing how Washington works when you’re the president of the United States.

Suckergate is a great reminder of this, and it makes Kirkman even more aware of the effect of his actions and words. It’s not enough to just keep repeating that Kirkman’s different, you have to show it as well.

That’s just what suckergate does. Plus, it allows Kirkman to shine and show the world the type of man and president that he is — an inspirational one.

Only normal mustard allowed

Lyor: I want every detail stage managed. A diner. He’ll order a hamburger. I don’t want anything foofy on the menu like dijon mustard or profiteroles.

This quote is on the list simply because it makes me laugh. I didn’t realize dijon mustard was considered foofy.

I wish we could have seen Lyor scouring menus of various diners, trying to find one he deems acceptable. His reasons for rejecting diners would have been hilarious. I can see him throwing out a diner because of the menu’s font.

Also, I totally had to look up what profiteroles were. Seth’s right; those are way too fancy to be in a diner.

What did you think of this episode of Designated Survivor? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

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Designated Survivor airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on ABC.

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